Friendship Quotes – a large collection of famous and inspirational quotes

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Day: October 1, 2010

Cute Quotes to Make You Smile

– “Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.” – Rita Rudner

– “My wife was too beautiful for words – but not for arguments.” – John Barrymore

– “I think any man in business would be foolish to fool around with his secretary. If it’s somebody else’s secretary, fine.” – Barry Goldwater

– “A babysitter is a teenager acting like an adult while the adults are out acting like teenagers.” – Anonymous

– “I was showing early symptoms of becoming a professional baseball man. I was lying to the press.” – Roger Kahn

– “A man’s go to do what a man’s got to do. A woman must do what he can’t.” – Rhonda Hansome

– “The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.” – Lucille Ball

– “Love is the child of illusion and the parent of disillusion.” – Miguel de Unamuno

– “Accomplishing the impossible means only that the boss will add it to your regular duties.” – Anonymous

– “All the things I really like are either immoral, illegal or fattening.” – Alexander Woollcott

– “Adults are always asking kids what they want to be when they grow up because they are looking for ideas.” – Paula Poundstone

– “Nobody believes the official spokesman, but everybody trusts an unidentified source.” – Ron Nesen

– “Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don’t have on something they don’t need.” – Will Rogers

– “Don’t forget Mother’s Day… or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad’s Third Wife Day.” – Jay Leno

– “Age is just a number. It’s totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine.” – Joan Collins

– “If we’re not supposed to eat animals, how come they’re made out of meat?” – Tom Snyder

– “Things hurt me now. My knees hurt, my back hurts. But your head still thinks it’s twenty-three.” – George Clooney

– “Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days.” – Benjamin Franklin

– “Some people are like Slinkies – not really good for anything, but you still can’t help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.” – Anonymous

– “You better live every day like it’s your last day, because one day you’re going to be right.” – Ray Charles

– “I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.” – Rita Rudner

Funny Quotes to Make You Smile

– “Whoever said ‘nothing is impossible’ never tried to nail jell-o to a tree.” – Lisa Bryant

– “A smile confuses an approaching frown.” – Anonymous

– “The best measure of a man’s honesty isn’t his income tax return. It’s the zero adjust on his bathroom scale.” – Arthur C. Clarke

– “Smile. Have you ever noticed how easily puppies make human friends? Yet all they do is wag their tails and fall over.” – Walter Anderson

– “Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.” – Oprah Winfrey

– “Start every day with a smile and get it over with.” – W.C. Fields

– “Forgiveness is a funny thing. It warms the heart and cools the sting.” – William Arthur Ward

– “If there were no God, it would have been necessary to invent him.” – Voltaire

– “I find television very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go in the other room and read a book.” – Groucho Marx

– “If you are going through hell, keep going.” – Winston Churchill

– “You’ll be richer in the end than a prince, if you’re a friend.” – Edgar A. Guest

– “Hosting the Oscars is much like making love to a woman. It’s something I only get to do when Billy Crystal is out of town.” – Steve Martin

– “Do not listen to those who weep and complain, for their disease is contagious.” – Og Mandino

– “So, if you feel a smile begin, don’t leave it undetected, let’s start an epidemic quick, and get the world infected!” – Russel H. Conwell

– “Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.” – Jerry Seinfeld

– “Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” – Mark Twain

– “First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.” – Steve Martin

– “A man is not paid for having a head and hands, but for using them.” – Elbert Hubbard

– “When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.” – Sacha Guitry

– “If you don’t understand how a woman could both love her sister dearly and want to wring her neck at the same time, then you were probably an only child.” – Linda Sunshine