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Day: December 11, 2010

Bill Cosby Quotes

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A word to the wise ain’t necessary – it’s the stupid ones that need the advice.

Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.

Any man today who returns from work, sinks into a chair, and calls for his pipe is a man with an appetite for danger.

As I have discovered by examining my past, I started out as a child. Coincidentally, so did my brother. My mother did not put all her eggs in one basket, so to speak: she gave me a younger brother named Russell, who taught me what was meant by “survival of the fittest.”

Civilization had too many rules for me, so I did my best to rewrite them.

Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it.

Even though your kids will consistently do the exact opposite of what you’re telling them to do, you have to keep loving them just as much.

Every closed eye is not sleeping, and every open eye is not seeing.

Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.

Gray hair is God’s graffiti.

Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit.

Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home.

I am certainly not an authority on love because there are no authorities on love, just those who’ve had luck with it and those who haven’t.

I am proud to be an American. Because an American can eat anything on the face of this earth as long as he has two pieces of bread.

I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.

I guess the real reason that my wife and I had children is the same reason that Napoleon had for invading Russia: it seemed like a good idea at the time.

I wasn’t always black… there was this freckle, and it got bigger and bigger.

If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated, let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being right.

Immortality is a long shot, I admit. But somebody has to be first.

In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure.

It isn’t a matter of black is beautiful as much as it is white is not all that’s beautiful.

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.

Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries.

Men and women belong to different species and communications between them is still in its infancy.

My childhood should have taught me lessons for my own fatherhood, but it didn’t because parenting can only be learned by people who have no children.

No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I’m not talking about the kids. Their behavior is always normal.

Nothing I’ve ever done has given me more joys and rewards than being a father to my children.

Nothing separates the generations more than music. By the time a child is eight or nine, he has developed a passion for his own music that is even stronger than his passions for procrastination and weird clothes.

Old is always fifteen years from now.

Parents are not interested in justice, they’re interested in peace and quiet.

People can be more forgiving than you can imagine. But you have to forgive yourself. Let go of what’s bitter and move on.

Poets have said that the reason to have children is to give yourself immortality. Immortality? Now that I have five children, my only hope is that they are all out of the house before I die.

Raising children is an incredibly hard and risky business in which no cumulative wisdom is gained: each generation repeats the mistakes the previous one made.

Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don’t believe the kids should be given homework.

That married couples can live together day after day is a miracle that the Vatican has overlooked.

The essence of childhood, of course, is play, which my friends and I did endlessly on streets that we reluctantly shared with traffic.

The heart of marriage is memories; and if the two of you happen to have the same ones and can savor your reruns, then your marriage is a gift from the gods.

The main goal of the future is to stop violence. The world is addicted to it.

The past is a ghost, the future a dream, and all we ever have is now.

The truth is that parents are not really interested in justice. They just want quiet.

There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God.

There is no labor a person does that is undignified; if they do it right.

Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.

When you become senile, you won’t know it.

Women don’t want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think – in a deeper voice.

You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything, even poverty, you can survive it.

You know the only people who are always sure about the proper way to raise children? Those who’ve never had any.

Business & Money Quotes

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Experience taught me a few things. One is to listen to your gut, no matter how good something sounds on paper. The second is that you’re generally better off sticking with what you know. And the third is that sometimes your best investments are the ones you don’t make. – Donald Trump

If you’re interested in ‘balancing’ work and pleasure, stop trying to balance them. Instead make your work more pleasurable. – Donald Trump

I have yet to find the man, however exalted his station, who did not do better work and put forth greater effort under a spirit of approval than under a spirit of criticism. – Charles Schwab

I know of nothing more despicable and pathetic than a man who devotes all the hours of the waking day to the making of money for money’s sake. – John D. Rockfeller

I would rather earn 1% off a 100 people’s efforts than 100% of my own efforts. – John D. Rockfeller

If your only goal is to become rich, you will never achieve it. – John D. Rockfeller

The only question with wealth is, what do you do with it? – John D. Rockfeller

Don’t worry, be crappy. Revolutionary means you ship and then test… Lots of things made the first Mac in 1984 a piece of crap – but it was a revolutionary piece of crap. – Guy Kawasaki

Be nice to nerds. Chances are you’ll end up working for one.  – Bill Gates

I believe that if you show people the problems and you show them the solutions they will be moved to act. – Bill Gates

If you can’t make it good, at least make it look good. – Bill Gates

Technology is just a tool. In terms of getting the kids working together and motivating them, the teacher is the most important. – Bill Gates

Until we’re educating every kid in a fantastic way, until every inner city is cleaned up, there is no shortage of things to do. – Bill Gates

A business that makes nothing but money is a poor business. – Henry Ford

A market is never saturated with a good product, but it is very quickly saturated with a bad one. – Henry Ford

If money is your hope for independence you will never have it. The only real security that a man will have in this world is a reserve of knowledge, experience, and ability. – Henry Ford

Most people spend more time and energy going around problems than in trying to solve them. – Henry Ford

Nothing is particularly hard if you divide it into small jobs. – Henry Ford

Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal. – Henry Ford

The competitor to be feared is one who never bothers about you at all, but goes on making his own business better all the time. – Henry Ford

Wealth, like happiness, is never attained when sought after directly. It comes as a by-product of providing a useful service. – Henry Ford

Your most unhappy customers are your greatest source of learning. – Bill Gates

It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it. If you think about that, you’ll do things differently. – Warren Buffet

It’s better to hang out with people better than you. Pick out associates whose behavior is better than yours and you’ll drift in that direction. – Warren Buffet

Of the billionaires I have known, money just brings out the basic traits in them. If they were jerks before they had money, they are simply jerks with a billion dollars. – Warren Buffet

Time is the friend of the wonderful company, the enemy of the mediocre. – Warren Buffet

No man will make a great leader who wants to do it all himself or get all the credit for doing it. – Andrew Carnegie

Concentrate your energies, your thoughts and your capital. The wise man puts all his eggs in one basket and watches the basket. – Andrew Carnegie

Failure Quotes

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Sometimes by losing a battle you find a new way to win the war. – Donald Trump

Even a mistake may turn out to be the one thing necessary to a worthwhile achievement. – Henry Ford

Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently. – Henry Ford

Life is a series of experiences, each one of which makes us bigger, even though sometimes it is hard to realize this. For the world was built to develop character, and we must learn that the setbacks and grieves which we endure help us in our marching onward. – Henry Ford

When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it. – Henry Ford

Defeat is not the worst of failures. Not to have tried is the true failure. – George Edward Woodberry

Develop success from failures. Discouragement and failure are two of the surest stepping stones to success. – Dale Carnegie

Failure is success if we learn from it. – Malcolm Forbes

I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed. – Michael Jordan

In order to succeed you must fail, so that you know what not to do the next time. – Anthony J. D’Angelo

Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition, is not only a waste of energy but the worst habit you could possibly have. – Dale Carnegie

If only the people who worry about their liabilities would think about the riches they do possess, they would stop worrying. – Dale Carnegie

Success Quotes

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In the end, you’re measured not by how much you undertake but by what you finally accomplish. – Donald Trump

Part of being a winner is knowing when enough is enough. Sometimes you have to give up the fight and walk away, and move on to something that’s more productive. – Donald Trump

A man can succeed at almost anything for which he has unlimited enthusiasm. – Charles Schwab

I do not think that there is any other quality so essential to success of any kind as the quality of perseverance. It overcomes almost everything, even nature. – John D. Rockfeller

If you want to succeed you should strike out on new paths, rather than travel the worn paths of accepted success. – John D. Rockfeller

Singleness of purpose is one of the chief essentials for success in life, no matter what may be one’s aim. – John D. Rockfeller

The most important thing for a young man is to establish a credit… a reputation, character. – John D. Rockfeller

It’s fine to celebrate success but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure. – Bill Gates

Before everything else, getting ready is the secret of success. – Henry Ford

Enthusiasm is the yeast that makes your hopes shine to the stars. Enthusiasm is the sparkle in your eyes, the swing in your gait. The grip of your hand, the irresistible surge of will and energy to execute your ideas. – Henry Ford

If everyone is moving forward together, then success takes care of itself. – Henry Ford

If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as from your own. – Henry Ford

A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him. – David Brinkley

Action is the foundational key to all success. – Pablo Picasso

Don’t aim for success if you want it; just do what you love and believe in, and it will come naturally. – David Frost

Flaming enthusiasm, backed up by horse sense and persistence, is the quality that most frequently makes for success. – Dale Carnegie

I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody. – Bill Cosby

If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it. – W. C. Fields

The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary. – Vince Lombardi

In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure. – Bill Cosby

Most people give up just when they’re about to achieve success. They quit on the one yard line. They give up at the last minute of the game one foot from a winning touchdown. – Ross Perot

One secret of success in life is for a man to be ready for his opportunity when it comes. – Benjamin Disraeli

People rarely succeed unless they have fun in what they are doing. – Dale Carnegie

If you believe in what you are doing, then let nothing hold you up in your work. Much of the best work of the world has been done against seeming impossibilities. The thing is to get the work done. – Dale Carnegie

Instead of worrying about what people say of you, why not spend time trying to accomplish something they will admire. – Dale Carnegie

Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all. – Dale Carnegie

One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today. – Dale Carnegie

The successful man will profit from his mistakes and try again in a different way. – Dale Carnegie

When fate hands you a lemon, make lemonade. – Dale Carnegie

Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm. – Winston Churchill

Success has a simple formula: do your best, and people may like it. – Sam Ewing

Success is blocked by concentrating on it and planning for it… Success is shy – it won’t come out while you’re watching. – Tennessee Williams

Success is like death. The more successful you become, the higher the houses in the hills get and the higer the fences get. – Kevin Spacey

Success is simple. Do what’s right, the right way, at the right time. – Arnold H. Glasow

Success is simply a matter of luck. Ask any failure. – Earl Wilson

Whatever you have, you must either use or lose.  – Henry Ford

Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy. – Dale Carnegie

I try to learn from the past, but I plan for the future by focusing exclusively on the present. That’s were the fun is. – Donald Trump

Without passion you don’t have energy, without energy you have nothing. – Donald Trump

If you want to achieve things in life, you’ve just got to do them, and if you’re talented and smart, you’ll succeed. – Juliana Hatfield

Laughs Quotes

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There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot. – Steven Wright

Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world. – Dave Barry

It’s hard to argue with the government. Remember, they run the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms, so they must know a thing or two about satisfying women. – Scott Adams

I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers. – A Bit of Fry and Laurie

The hypothalamus is one of the most important parts of the brain, involved in many kinds of motivation, among other functions. The hypothalamus controls the “Four F’s”: Fighting, fleeing, feeding and… mating. – Psychology professor in neuropsychology intro course

What is a committee? A group of the unwilling, picked from the unfit, to do the unnecessary. – Mark Twain

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants. – A. Whitney Brown

A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices. – William James

There’s so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets? – Dick Cavett

Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains? – Unknown