Friendship Quotes – a large collection of famous and inspirational quotes

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Day: December 28, 2010

Funny Love Quotes

Shopping is better than sex. At least if you’re not satisfied, you can exchange it for something you really like. – Adrienne Gusoff

An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her. – Agatha Christie

Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
So each is inevitably disappointed. – Albert Einstein

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That’s relativity. – Albert Einstein

Men make the highs higher and the lows more frequent. – Anonymous

You know it’s love when you want to keep holding hands even after you’re sweaty. – Anonymous

The four most important words in any marriage…”I’ll do the dishes.” – Anonymous

No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying. – Anonymous

Marriage is like jogging through a puddle of industrial strength rubber glue. You can work hard and make it through the struggles; however, you usually leave your bobby socks and sneakers behind along the way. – Anonymous

When a relationship goes flat, so does a couple of sets of car tires. – Anonymous

Men only have two faults….What they do, and what they say! – Anonymous

You can’t buy love on eBay. – Anonymous

If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it? – Bette Midler

A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him. – Brendan Francis

Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch. – Cathy Carlyle

Marriage is a romance in which the heroine dies in the first chapter. – Cecilia Egan

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing — and then marry him. – Cher

Men aren’t necessities, they’re luxuries. – Cher

By the time you swear you’re his,
Shivering and sighing,
And he vows his passion is infinite, undying –
Lady, make note of this: One of you is lying. – Dorothy Parker

I’m always looking for meaningful one night stands. – Dudley Moore

Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery. – Erma Bombeck

Romantic love is mental illness. But it’s a pleasurable one. It’s a drug. It distorts reality, and that’s the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw. – Fran Lebowitz

It is impossible to love and be wise. – Francis Bacon

Marriage marks the end of many short follies – being one long stupidity. – Friedrich Nietzsche

Love is a mutual self-giving which ends in self-recovery. – Fulton J. Sheen

Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it. – George Carlin

Remember, beneath every cynic there lies a romantic, and probably an injured one. – Glenn Beck

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. – Groucho Marx

To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all. – Helen Rowland

Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There’s too much fraternizing with the enemy. – Henry Kissinger

When we got married I told my wife “If you leave me, I’m going with you.” And she never did. – James Fineous McBride

Marrying a man is like buying something you’ve been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn’t always go with everything else in the house. – Jean Kerr

Robin Williams Funny Quotes

robin-williams– “Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they’ve got nothing to lose.” – Robin Williams
– “What’s right is what’s left if you do everything else wrong.” – Robin Williams
– “God gave us a penis and a brain, but not enough blood to use both at the same time.” – Robin Williams
– “Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?” – Robin Williams
– “No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world.” – Robin Williams
– “Spring is nature’s way of saying, Let’s party!” – Robin Williams

– “You’re only given a little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it.” – Robin Williams

– “If women ran the world we wouldn’t have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.” – Robin Williams

– “Mickey Mouse to a three-year-old is a six-foot-tall RAT!” – Robin Williams

– “I’m a very tolerant man, except when it comes to holding a grudge.” – Robin Williams

– “Sometimes you’ve got to specifically go out of your way to get into trouble. It’s called fun.” – Robin Williams

I Love You Quotes

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love. ~Albert Einstein

You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover’s arms can only come later when you’re sure they won’t laugh if you trip. ~Jonathan Carroll, “Outside the Dog Museum”

A hundred hearts would be too few
To carry all my love for you. ~Author Unknown

The most important things are the hardest to say, because words diminish them. ~Stephen King

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? ~Author Unknown

Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species. ~W. Somerset Maugham, A Writer’s Notebook, 1949

Love does not consist of gazing at each other, but in looking together in the same direction. ~Antoine de Saint-Exupery

It is astonishing how little one feels alone when one loves. ~John Bulwer

The most beautiful view is the one I share with you. ~Author Unknown

A bell is no bell ’til you ring it,
A song is no song ’til you sing it,
And love in your heart
Wasn’t put there to stay –
Love isn’t love
‘Til you give it away. ~Oscar Hammerstein, Sound of Music, “You Are Sixteen (Reprise)”

Grow old with me! The best is yet to be. ~Robert Browning

For you see, each day I love you more
Today more than yesterday and less than tomorrow. ~Rosemonde Gerard

Love is a symbol of eternity. It wipes out all sense of time, destroying all memory of a beginning and all fear of an end. ~Author Unknown

Love – a wildly misunderstood although highly desirable malfunction of the heart which weakens the brain, causes eyes to sparkle, cheeks to glow, blood pressure to rise and the lips to pucker. ~Author Unknown

You learn to like someone when you find out what makes them laugh, but you can never truly love someone until you find out what makes them cry. ~Author Unknown

Albert Einstein

Happiness Quotes

– “When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.” – Helen Keller

– “Happiness does not consist in pastimes and amusements but in virtuous activities.” – Aristotle

– “Happiness resides not in posessions and not in gold; the feeling of happiness dwells in the soul.” – Democritus

– “People with many interests live, not only longest, but happiest.” – George Matthew Allen

– “In the hopes of reaching the moon men fail to see the flowers that blossom at their feet.” – Albert Schweitzer

– “Happiness is not achieved by the conscious pursuit of happiness; it is generally the by-product of other activities.” – Aldous Huxley

– “There is only one person who could ever make you happy, and that person is you.” – David Burns, Intimate Connections

– “The happiness of life is made up of minute fractions—the little soon-forgotten charities of a kiss, a smile, a kind look, a heartfelt compliment in the disguise of a playful raillery, and the countless other infinitessimals of pleasurable thought and genial feeling.” – Samuel Taylor Coleridge

– “Men spend their lives in anticipations,—in determining to be vastly happy at some period when they have time. But the present time has one advantage over every other—it is our own. Past opportunities are gone, future have not come. We may lay in a stock of pleasures, as we would lay in a stock of wine; but if we defer the tasting of them too long, we shall find that both are soured by age.” – Charles Caleb Colton

– “Who is the happiest of men? He who values the merits of others, and in their pleasure takes joy, even as though ’twere his own.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

– “The chances are that you have already come to believe that happiness is unattainable. But men have attained it. And they have attained it by realising that happiness does not spring from the procuring of physical or mental pleasure, but from the development of reason and the adjustment of conduct to principles.” – from How to Live on 24 Hours a Day, by Arnold Bennett

– “Happiness is not a matter of events, it depends upon the tides of the mind.” – Alice Meynell

– “Fortify yourself with contentment, for this is an impregnable fortress.” – Epictetus

– “Happiness depends more on the inward disposition of mind than on outward circumstances.” – Benjamin Franklin

– “There is only one way to happiness, and that is to cease worrying things which are beyond the power of our will.” – Epictetus

– “I have learned to seek my happiness by limiting my desires, rather than attempting to satisfy them.” – John Stuart Mills

– “You’re happiest while you’re making the greatest contribution.” – Robert F. Kennedy

– “Action may not always bring happiness; but there is no happiness without action.” – Benjamin Disraeli

– “Great effort from great motives is the best definition of a happy life.” – William Ellery Channing

– “There is more to life than increasing its speed.” – Mahatma Ghandi

– “The rays of happiness, like those of light, are colorless when unbroken.” – Henry W. Longfellow

– “Happiness grows at our own firesides, and is not to be picked in strangers’ gardens.” –
Douglas Jerrold

– “Happiness is where we find it, but rarely where we seek it.” – J. Petit Senn

– “To be happy, we must not be too concerned with others.” – Albert Camus

– “Happiness depends upon ourselves.” – Aristotle

– “Try to be happy in this present moment, and put not off being so to a time to come,—as though that time should be of another make from this which has already come and is ours.” – Thomas Fuller

– “Knowledge of what is possible is the beginning of happiness.” – George Santayana

– “No man is happy who does not think himself so.” – Publilius Syrus

– “Our minds are as different as our faces: we are all traveling to one destination; –happiness; but few are going by the same road.” – Charles Caleb Colton