5 Funny Quotes for Today

1. “Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.” – Groucho Marx

2. “If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?” – Abraham Lincoln

3. “Baseball is 90% mental, the other half is physical” – Yogi Berra

4. “I married the first man I ever kissed. When I tell this to my children, they just about throw up” – Barbara Bush

5. “Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.” – Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC