Pudd’nhead Wilson – Friendship Quotes – a large collection of famous and inspirational quotes

April Fool’s Day Quotes

Posted on March 31, 2011 by

April Fool’s Day is here. Let’s celebrate it with some useful April Fool’s Day Quotes.

April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four. ~Mark Twain, Pudd’nhead Wilson, 1894

April fool, n. The March fool with another month added to his folly. ~Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictionary

Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me. ~Chinese Proverb

Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee,
And I’ll forgive Thy great big one on me. ~Robert Frost, “Cluster of Faith,” 1962

He who is born a fool is never cured. ~Proverb

Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed. ~Mark Twain

If every fool wore a crown, we should all be kings. ~Welsh Proverb

I hope life isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it. ~Jack Handey

We’re fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance. ~Japanese Proverb

You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time. ~Abraham Lincoln

Even the gods love jokes. ~Plato

The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected. ~Will Rogers

A man always blames the woman who fools him. In the same way he blames the door he walks into in the dark. ~Henry Louis Mencken

A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools. ~Douglas Adams

It is the ability to take a joke, not make one, that proves you have a sense of humor. ~Max Eastman

Don’t give cherries to pigs or advice to fools. ~Irish Proverb

A sense of humor is the ability to understand a joke-and that the joke is oneself. ~Clifton Paul Fadiman

It is better to weep with wise men than to laugh with fools. ~Spanish Proverb

I have great faith in fools – self-confidence, my friends call it. ~Edgar Allan Poe

The aim of a joke is not to degrade the human being, but to remind him that he is already degraded. ~George Orwell

Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke? ~Rita Rudner

Suppose the world were only one of God’s jokes, would you work any the less to make it a good joke instead of a bad one? ~George Bernard Shaw

Real friends are those who, when you feel you’ve made a fool of yourself, don’t feel you’ve done a permanent job. ~Author Unknown

One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. “Oh, no,” I said. “Disneyland burned down.” He cried and cried, but I think that deep down, he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late. ~Jack Handey

Anger Quotes

Posted on January 9, 2011January 9, 2011 by

– “If a small thing has the power to make you angry, does that not indicate something about your size?” – Sydney J. Harris

– “There is nothing more galling to angry people than the coolness of those on whom they wish to vent their spleen.” – Alexandre Dumas

– “Life is too short to hold a grudge, also too long.” – Robert Brault

– “He who angers you conquers you.” – Elizabeth Kenny

– “For every minute you are angry, you lose sixty seconds of happiness.” – Unknown

– “Anger is one letter short of danger.” – Unknown

– “Anger ventilated often hurries toward forgiveness; and concealed often hardens into revenge.” – Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton

– “People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing.” – Will Rogers

– “Never write a letter while you are angry.” – Chinese Proverb

– “Get mad, then get over it.” – Colin Powell

– “The world needs anger. The world often continues to allow evil because it isn’t angry enough.” – Bede Jarrett

– “Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.” – Phyllis Diller, Phyllis Diller’s Housekeeping Hints, 1966

– “In certain trying circumstances, urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances, profanity furnishes a relief denied even to prayer.” – Mark Twain

– “Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.” – Malachy McCourt

– “Take no revenge that you have not pondered beneath a starry sky, or on a canyon overlook, or to the lapping of waves and the mewing of a distant gull.” – Robert Brault

– “If you kick a stone in anger, you’ll hurt your own foot.” – Korean Proverb

– “Not the fastest horse can catch a word spoken in anger.” – Chinese Proverb

– “Anger dwells only in the bosom of fools.” – Albert Einstein

– “No man can think clearly when his fists are clenched.” – George Jean Nathan

– “Anger is short-lived madness.” – Horace

– “Anger and jealousy can no more bear to lose sight of their objects than love.” – George Eliot

– “Do not teach your children never to be angry; teach them how to be angry.” – Lyman Abbott

– “Anger blows out the lamp of the mind.” – Robert G. Ingersoll

– “Sometimes when I’m angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn’t give me the right to be cruel.” – Unknown

– “Next time you’re mad, try dancing out your anger.” – Sweetpea Tyler

– “Spite is never lonely; envy always tags along.” – Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic’s Notebook, 1960

– “Always write angry letters to your enemies. Never mail them.” – James Fallows

– “At the core of all anger is a need that is not being fulfilled.” – Marshall B. Rosenberg

– “Anger and folly walk cheek by jole.” – Benjamin Franklin

– “Temper tantrums, however fun they may be to throw, rarely solve whatever problem is causing them.” – Lemony Snicket

– “I don’t have to attend every argument I’m invited to.” – Unknown

– “Can anger survive without his hypocrisy?” – Jareb Teague

– “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” – Buddha

– “Malice drinks one-half of its own poison.” – Seneca

– “Anger is a killing thing: it kills the man who angers, for each rage leaves him less than he had been before – it takes something from him.” – Louis L’Armour

– “Never strike your wife – even with a flower.” – Hindu Proverb

– “Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.” – Ambrose Bierce

– “When angry, count four; when very angry, swear.” – Mark Twain, Pudd’nhead Wilson, 1894

– “Anger is a bad counselor.” – French Proverb

– “Resentment is an extremely bitter diet, and eventually poisonous. I have no desire to make my own toxins.” – Neil Kinnock

– “The worst-tempered people I’ve ever met were people who knew they were wrong.” – Wilson Mizner

– “To carry a grudge is like being stung to death by one bee.” – William H. Walton

– “The best remedy for a short temper is a long walk.” – Jacqueline Schiff

– “When a man sends you an impudent letter, sit right down and give it back to him with interest ten times compounded, and then throw both letters in the wastebasket.” – Elbert Hubbard

– “Consider how much more you often suffer from your anger and grief, than from those very things for which you are angry and grieved.” – Marcus Antonius