Tag: Charlie Chaplin

“Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.” – Martin Fraquhar Tupper

“Thank you for sending me a copy of your book – I’ll waste no time reading it.” – Moses Hadas (1900-1966)

“From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.” – Groucho Marx (1895-1977)

“It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.” – Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)

“When ideas fail, words come in very handy.” – Goethe (1749-1832)

“In the end, everything is a gag.” – Charlie Chaplin (1889-1977)

“The nice thing about egotists is that they don’t talk about other people.” – Lucille S. Harper

“You got to be careful if you don’t know where you’re going, because you might not get there.” – Yogi Berra

“I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.” – Walt Disney (1901-1966)

“He who hesitates is a damned fool.” – Mae West (1892-1980)

“Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.” – Gail Godwin

“University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.” – Henry Kissinger (1923-)

“The graveyards are full of indispensable men.” – Charles de Gaulle (1890-1970)

“You can pretend to be serious; you can’t pretend to be witty.” – Sacha Guitry (1885-1957)

“Behind every great fortune there is a crime.” – Honore de Balzac (1799-1850)

“If women didn’t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.” – Aristotle Onassis (1906-1975)

“I am not young enough to know everything.” – Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)

“Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.” – Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)

“The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.” – General George Patton (1885-1945)

“Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)

“There is no sincerer love than the love of food.” – George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

“I don’t even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.” – Katherine Cebrian

“I have an existential map; it has ‘you are here’ written all over it.” – Steven Wright

“Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.” – Gioacchino Rossini (1792-1868)

“Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.” – Oliver Herford (1863-1935)

“I have read your book and much like it.” – Moses Hadas (1900-1966)

“The covers of this book are too far apart.” – Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914)

“Everywhere I go I’m asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don’t stifle enough of them.” – Flannery O’Connor (1925-1964)

“Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.” – Igor Stravinsky (1882-1971)

“Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.” – Voltaire (1694-1778)

“When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I’ve never tried before.” – Mae West (1892-1980)

“I don’t know anything about music. In my line you don’t have to.” – Elvis Presley (1935-1977)

“No Sane man will dance.” – Cicero (106-43 B.C.)

“Hell is a half-filled auditorium.” – Robert Frost (1874-1963)

“Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.” – Carl Gustav Jung (1875-1961)

“Vote early and vote often.” – Al Capone (1899-1947)

“If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?” – Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)

“Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.” – Mark Twain (1835-1910)

“Hell is other people.” – Jean-Paul Sartre (1905-1980)

“Now I am become death, the destroyer of worlds.” – Robert J. Oppenheimer (1904-1967) (citing from the Bhagavad Gita, after witnessing the world’s first nuclear explosion)

“Happiness is good health and a bad memory.” – Ingrid Bergman (1917-1982)

“Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.” – Thomas Jones

“You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.” – Al Capone (1899-1947)

“The gods too are fond of a joke.” – Aristotle (384-322 B.C.)

“Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.” – Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862)

“The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.” – Gloria Leonard