Tag: Fred Allen

“It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.” – Professor Scott Elledge on his retirement from Cornell

“Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.” – Robert Orben

“The cynics are right nine times out of ten.” – Henry Louis Mencken (1880-1956)

“There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.” – George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

“And I looked, and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him.” – Revelation 6:8

“Attention to health is life’s greatest hindrance.” – Plato (427-347 B.C.)

“Plato was a bore.” – Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900)

“Nietzsche was stupid and abnormal.” – Leo Tolstoy (1828-1910)

“I’m not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.” – Ernest Hemingway (1899-1961)

“Hemingway was a jerk.” – Harold Robbins

“Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things.”
– Epictetus (55-135 A.D.)

“What about things like bullets?” – Herb Kimmel, Behavioralist, Professor of Psychology, upon hearing the above quote (1981)

“How can I lose to such an idiot?” – A shout from chessmaster Aaron Nimzovich (1886-1935)

“Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.” – Woody Allen (1935-)

“I don’t feel good.” – The last words of Luther Burbank (1849-1926)

“Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn’t cure.” – Ross MacDonald (1915-1983)

“Men have become the tools of their tools.” – Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862)

“I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.” – Mark Twain (1835-1910)

“It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.” – Richard J. Ferris, president of United Airlines

“I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.” – Gore Vidal

“I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.” – Woody Allen (1935-)

“Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives.” – Abba Eban (1915-2002)

“A consensus means that everyone agrees to say collectively what no one believes individually.” – Abba Eban (1915-2002)

“To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.” – Charles William Stubbs

“Sanity is a madness put to good uses.” – George Santayana (1863-1952)

“Imitation is the sincerest form of television.” – Fred Allen (1894-1956)

“Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.” – Mark Twain (1835-1910)

“In America, anybody can be president. That’s one of the risks you take.” – Adlai Stevenson (1900-1965)

“Copy from one, it’s plagiarism; copy from two, it’s research.” – Wilson Mizner (1876-1933)

“Why don’t you write books people can read?” – Nora Joyce to her husband James (1882-1941)

“Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.” – T. S. Eliot (1888-1965)

“Criticism is prejudice made plausible.” – Henry Louis Mencken (1880-1956)

“It is better to be quotable than to be honest.” – Tom Stoppard

“Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.” – Karl Wallenda

“Opportunities multiply as they are seized.” – Sun Tzu

“A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.” – Lao-Tzu (570?-490? BC)

” The best way to predict the future is to invent it.” – Alan Kay

“Never mistake motion for action.” – Ernest Hemingway (1899-1961)

“I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours.” – Sir Stephen Henry Roberts (1901-1971)

“Hell is paved with good samaritans.” – William M. Holden