Drinking Quotes
“I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.” –Homer Simpson
“People who drink light “beer” don’t like the taste of beer; they just like to pee a lot.” –Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI.
“I’m not a heavy drinker, I can sometimes go for hours without touching a drop.” –Noel Coward
“Drinking Light Beer is like having sex in a canoe…fucking close to water. – Unknown
“I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.” –Frank Sinatra
“An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.” –Ernest Hemingway
“A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.” –W.C. Fields
“24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?” –Stephen Wright
“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” –Benjamin Franklin
“Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.” –Dave Barry
“When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.” –Henny Youngman
“Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn’t drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, “It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.” –Jack Handy
“All right, brain, I don’t like you and you don’t like me – so let’s just do this and I’ll get back to killing you with beer.” –Homer Simpson
“You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.” –Dean Martin
“I drink to make other people interesting.” –George Jean Nathan
“Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.” –Dave Barry