Friendship Quotes – a large collection of famous and inspirational quotes

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Drinking Quotes

“I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.” –Homer Simpson

“People who drink light “beer” don’t like the taste of beer; they just like to pee a lot.” –Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI.

“I’m not a heavy drinker, I can sometimes go for hours without touching a drop.” –Noel Coward

“Drinking Light Beer is like having sex in a canoe…fucking close to water. – Unknown

“I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.” –Frank Sinatra

“An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.” –Ernest Hemingway

“A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.” –W.C. Fields

“24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?” –Stephen Wright

“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” –Benjamin Franklin

“Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.” –Dave Barry

“When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.” –Henny Youngman

“Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn’t drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, “It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.” –Jack Handy

“All right, brain, I don’t like you and you don’t like me – so let’s just do this and I’ll get back to killing you with beer.” –Homer Simpson

“You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.” –Dean Martin

“I drink to make other people interesting.” –George Jean Nathan

“Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.” –Dave Barry

Funny Alcohol Quotes

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools. – Ernest Hemingway

A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her. – W.C. Fields

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? – Stephen Wright

The problem with some people is that when they aren’t drunk, they’re sober. – William Butler Yeats

Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer. – Henry Lawson

I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. They wake up in the morning and that’s the best they’re going to feel all day. – Unknown

I’m not as think as you drunk I am. – Unknown

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder – Kinky Friedman

I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds, and fast cars. The rest I just squandered. – George Best

Alcohol removes inhibitions – like that scared little mouse who got drunk and shook his whiskers and shouted: “Now bring on that damn cat!” – Eleanor Early

I only take a drink on two occasions – when I’m thirsty and when I’m not. – Brendan Behan

I have made an important discovery…that alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication. – Oscar Wilde

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. – Henny Youngman

I drink to make other people interesting. – Unknown