Funny Quotes About Parents
“Parents are not interested in justice, they’re interested in peace and quiet.” – Bill Cosby
“There are two things that a child will share willingly – communicable diseases and its mother’s age.” – Benjamin Spock
“I don’t think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.” – Woody Allen
“Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.” – Bill Cosby
“Parents are the bones on which children cut their teeth.” – Peter Ustinov
“Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath, and hope we’ve set aside enough money to pay for our kids’ therapy.” – Michelle Pfeiffer
“Think of stretch marks as pregnancy service stripes.” – Joyce Armor
“Little League baseball is a very good thing because it keeps the parents off the streets.” – Yogi Berra
“The most loving parents and relatives commit murder with smiles on their faces. They force us to destroy the person we really are: a subtle kind of murder.” – Jim Morrison
“I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.” – Rodney Dangerfield
“If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t, either.” – Dick Cavett
“That’s sort of a cliché about parents. We all believe that our children are the most beautiful children in the world. But the thing is, what no one really talks about is the fact that we all really believe it.” – Heather Armstrong
“My father hated radio and could not wait for television to be invented so he could hate that too.” – Peter De Vries
“Somewhere it is written that parents who are critical of other people’s children and publicly admit they can do better is asking for it.” – Erma Bombeck
“My husband and I have decided to start a family while my parents are still young enough to look after them.” – Rita Rudner
“Call me Jonah. My parents did, or nearly did. They called me John.” – Kurt Vonnegut
“It is paradoxical that many educators and parents still differentiate between a time for learning and a time for play without seeing the vital connection between them.” – Leo Buscaglia
“Parents wonder why the streams are bitter, when they themselves have poisoned the fountain.” – John Locke
“My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.” – Mark Twain
“Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore.” – Ogden Nash
“My parents are my backbone. Still are. They’re the only group that will support you if you score zero or you score 40.” – Kobe Bryant
“I believe that we parents must encourage our children to become educated, so they can get into a good college that we cannot afford.” – Dave Barry
“Tyranny or slavery, born of selfishness, are the two educational methods of parents; all gradations of tyranny or slavery.” – Franz Kafka
“The best part about being friends with your parents is that no matter what you do, they have to keep loving you.” – Natalie Portman