Friendship Quotes – a large collection of famous and inspirational quotes

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Computers Quotes

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– “A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.” – Emo Philips

– “Bill Gates is the pope of the personal computer industry. He decides who’s going to build.” – Larry Ellison

– “Computer science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes.” – Edsger Dijkstra

– “Computers are magnificent tools for the realization of our dreams, but no machine can replace the human spark of spirit, compassion, love, and understanding.” – Louis Gerstner

– “Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.” – Pablo Picasso

– “Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don’t need to be done.” – Andy Rooney

– “Computing is not about computers any more. It is about living.” – Nicholas Negroponte

– “Data is not information, information is not knowledge, knowledge is not understanding, understanding is not wisdom.” – Clifford Stoll

– “Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.” – Doug Larson

– “I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer.” –
Dave Barry

– “I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.” – Isaac Asimov

– “I think computer viruses should count as life. I think it says something about human nature that the only form of life we have created so far is purely destructive. We’ve created life in our own image.” – Stephen Hawking

– “I think it’s fair to say that personal computers have become the most empowering tool we’ve ever created. They’re tools of communication, they’re tools of creativity, and they can be shaped by their user.” – Bill Gates

– “Never trust a computer you can’t throw out a window.” – Steve Wozniak

– “Part of the inhumanity of the computer is that, once it is competently programmed and working smoothly, it is completely honest.” – Isaac Asimov

– “People think computers will keep them from making mistakes. They’re wrong. With computers you make mistakes faster.” – Adam Osborne

– “Supercomputers will achieve one human brain capacity by 2010, and personal computers will do so by about 2020.” – Ray Kurzweil

– “The computer is a moron.” – Peter Drucker

– “The digital revolution is far more significant than the invention of writing or even of printing.” – Douglas Engelbart

– “The good news about computers is that they do what you tell them to do. The bad news is that they do what you tell them to do.” – Ted Nelson

Hilarious Basketball Quotes

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– “I haven’t been able to slam-dunk the basketball for the past five years. Or, for the thirty-eight years before that, either.” – Dave Barry

– “Some things you just can’t question. Like you can’t question why two plus two is four. So don’t question it, don’t try to look it up. I don’t know who made it, all I know is it was put in my head that two plus two is four. So certain things happen. Why does it rain? Why am I so sexy? I don’t know.” – Shaquille O’Neal

– “The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and was giving an oral test. Speaking about manic depression, she asked, ‘How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?’ A young man in the rear raised his hand and answered, ‘A basketball coach?'” – Old Basketball Joke

– “Mick Jagger is in better shape than far too many NBA players. It’s up in the air whether the same can be said of Keith Richards.” – Bill Walton

– “These are my new shoes. They’re good shoes. They won’t make you rich like me, they won’t make you rebound like me, they definitely won’t make you handsome like me. They’ll only make you have shoes like me. That’s it.” – Charles Barkley

– “This [basketball] is the second most exciting indoor sport, and the other one shouldn’t have spectators.” – Dick Vertleib

– “My sister’s expecting a baby, and I don’t know if I’m going to be an uncle or an aunt.” – Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice

– “I told him, ‘Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?’ He said, ‘Coach, I don’t know and I don’t care.” – Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player

– “What is so fascinating about sitting around watching a bunch of pituitary cases stuff a ball through a hoop?” – Woody Allen

– “I knew I was dog meat. Luckily, I’m the high-priced dog meat that everybody wants. I’m the good-quality dog meat. I’m the Alpo of the NBA.” – Shaquille O’Neal

– “We can’t win at home. We can’t win on the road. As general manager, I just can’t figure out where else to play.” – Pat Williams, Orlando Magic general manager, on his team’s 7-27 record in 1992

– “We have a great bunch of outside shooters. Unfortunately, all our games are played indoors.” – Weldon Drew

– “There are really only two plays: Romeo and Juliet, and put the darn ball in the basket.” – Abe Lemons

– “We’re shooting 100 percent – 60 percent from the field and 40 percent from the free-throw line.” – Norm Stewart

– “That’s a terrible defensive effort by Robert Horry. He didn’t even make it difficult for Rasheed Wallace to score.”
Snapper: “Well, what do you expect? Earlier you said that Wallace could be one of the best players in the game, and now you want Robert Horry to guard him one-on-one?”
Bill: “No, I said that Rasheed could be the best player in the game.” – Bill Walton & Snapper Jones

Beer Quotes

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– “Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.” – Dave Barry

– “Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed – Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn’t drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, «It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.»” – Jack Handy

– “Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” – Benjamin Franklin

– “I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer!” – Homer Simpson

– “Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.” – Kaiser Welhelm

– “Beer will always have a definite role in the diet of an individual and can be considered a cog in the wheel of nutritional foods.” – Bruce Carlton

– “It was as natural as eating and, to me, as necessary. I would not have thought of eating a meal without drinking a beer.” – Ernest Hemingway

– “Pretty women make us BUY beer. Ugly women make us DRINK beer.” – Ed O’Neill

– “He was a great man who invented beer” – Plato

– “I only drink beer on days that ends with «Y»” – Unknown