Funny Quotes about Friends

– “He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.” – Oscar Wilde

– “A true friend stabs you in the front.” – Oscar Wilde

– “Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.” – Oscar Wilde

– “I always like to know everything about my new friends, and nothing about my old ones.” – Oscar Wilde

– “It is a great confidence in a friend to tell him your faults; greater to tell him his.” – Benjamin Franklin

– “A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked.” – Bernard Meltzer

– “Marriage is a sort of friendship recognized by the police.” – Anonymous

– “A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success.” – Doug Larson

– “Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.” – Anonymous

– “Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.” – Groucho Marx

– “Love is blind; friendship closes its eyes.” – Anonymous

– “It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

– “Men kick friendship around like a football, but it doesn’t seem to crack. Women treat it like glass and it goes to pieces.” – Anne Morrow Lindbergh

– “Friends are God’s way of apologizing to us for our families.” – Anonymous

– “A friend doesn’t go on a diet because you are fat.” – Erma Bombeck

– “A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend – and he’s a priest.” – Erma Bombeck

– “One measure of friendship consists not in the number of things friends can discuss, but in the number of things they need no longer mention.” – Clifton Fadiman

– “Most people enjoy the inferiority of their best friends.” – Lord Chesterfield

– “A lifelong friend is someone you haven’t borrowed money from yet.” – Anonymous

– “A friend is one who has the same enemies as you have.” – Abraham Lincoln

– “Contrary to general belief, I do not believe that friends are necessarily the people you like best, they are merely the people who got there first.” – Peter Ustinov

– “Friends are the siblings God never gave us.” – Mencius

– “One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.” – George Carlin

– “A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail. A best friend is the one sitting next to you saying “boy was that fun.”” – The Maugles

– “Friendship is like money, easier made than kept.” – Samuel Butler

– “Nine-tenths of the people were created so you would want to be with the other tenth.” – Horace Walpole

– “You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.” – Harry S. Truman

– “I don’t like to commit myself about heaven and hell – you see, I have friends in both places.” – Mark Twain