Funny and Humorous Quotes

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. – Robert Bloch

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway. – Unknown

Everyone has photographic memory; some just don’t have the film. – Unknown

Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else. – Unknown

Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die. – Unknown

Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans – John Lennon

Borrow money from a pessimist – they don’t expect it back. – Unknown

You can be young without money but you can’t be old without it. – Unknown

Summer is the season when the air pollution is much warmer – Unknown

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. – Maryon Pearson

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance? – Unknown

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. – Unknown

What do you mean, my birth certificate expired? – Unknown

When I eventually met Mr Right I had no idea that his first name was Always. – Rita Rudner