– “The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once” – E. Joseph Cossman
– “Gray hair is God’s graffiti” – Bill Cosby
– “I lived in Miami for a while, in a section with a lot of really old people. The average age in my apartment house was dead” – Gabe Kaplan
– “Good Americans, when they die, go to Paris” – T. G. Appleton
– “We had a very successful trip to Russia we got back” – Bob Hope
– “I know lots more old drunks than old doctors” – Joe E. Lewis
– “My doctor said I look like a million dollars – green and wrinkled” – Red Skelton
– “Condoms aren’t completely safe. A friend of mine was wearing one . . . and got hit by a bus” – Bob Rubin
– “My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn’t pay the bill, he gave me six months more” – Walter Mattbau
– “I can’t believe that out of a hundred thousand sperm, you were the quickest” – Steven Pearl
– “she: Before we got married, you told me you were well-off.
he: I was, and I didn’t know it” – Jacob Braude
– “A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband” – Michel de Montaigne
A good decision is based on knowledge and not on numbers.
A hero is born among a hundred, a wise man is found among a thousand, but an accomplished one might not be found even among a hundred thousand men.
A state arises, as I conceive, out of the needs of mankind; no one is self-sufficing, but all of us have many wants.
All men are by nature equal, made all of the same earth by one Workman; and however we deceive ourselves, as dear unto God is the poor peasant as the mighty prince.
All the gold which is under or upon the earth is not enough to give in exchange for virtue.
All things will be produced in superior quantity and quality, and with greater ease, when each man works at a single occupation, in accordance with his natural gifts, and at the right moment, without meddling with anything else.
And what, Socrates, is the food of the soul? Surely, I said, knowledge is the food of the soul.
Any man may easily do harm, but not every man can do good to another.
Apply yourself both now and in the next life. Without effort, you cannot be prosperous. Though the land be good, You cannot have an abundant crop without cultivation.
As the builders say, the larger stones do not lie well without the lesser.
Astronomy compels the soul to look upwards and leads us from this world to another.
At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet.
Attention to health is life greatest hindrance.
Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.
Better a little which is well done, than a great deal imperfectly.
Courage is a kind of salvation.
Courage is knowing what not to fear.
Cunning… is but the low mimic of wisdom.
Death is not the worst that can happen to men.
Democracy passes into despotism.