Tag: inferiority

Sarcastic Quotes

Posted on February 23, 2011February 23, 2011 by

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.

Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good.

Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.

Stupidity got us into this mess – why can’t it get us out?

Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.

Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly and for the same reason.

An optimist thinks that this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears that this is true.

There is always death and taxes; however death doesn’t get worse every year.

People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them that Benjamin Franklin said it first.

It’s easier to fight for one’s principles than to live up to them.

I don’t mind going nowhere as long as it’s an interesting path.

Anything free is worth what you pay for it.

Indecision is the key to flexibility.

It hurts to be on the cutting edge.

If it ain’t broke, fix it till it is.

I don’t get even, I get odder.

In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.

I always wanted to be a procrastinator, never got around to it.

Dijon vu – the same mustard as before.

I am a nutritional overachiever.

My inferiority complex is not as good as yours.

I am having an out of money experience.

I plan on living forever. So far, so good.

I am in shape. Round is a shape.

Not afraid of heights – afraid of widths.

Practice safe eating – always use condiments.

A day without sunshine is like night.

I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.

If marriage were outlawed, only outlaws would have in-laws.

I am not a perfectionist. My parents were though.

Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hair stylist you like.

You’re getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.

One of life’s mysteries is how a two pound box of candy can make a woman gain five pounds.

It’s frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.

The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

Time may be a great healer, but it’s also a lousy beautician.

Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.

Age doesn’t always bring wisdom, sometimes age comes alone.

Life not only begins at forty, it begins to show.

You don’t stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stopped laughing.

Mark Twain Quotes #6

Posted on November 8, 2010November 3, 2010 by

When red-haired people are above a certain social grade their hair is auburn.

Good breeding consists of concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.

What a good thing Adam had. When he said a good thing he knew nobody had said it before.

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it’s a sure sign you’re getting old.

An enemy can partly ruin a man, but it takes a good-natured injudicious friend to complete the thing and make it perfect.

The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.

Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.

Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

Our opinions do not really blossom into fruition until we have expressed them to someone else.

A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.

Laws are sand, customs are rock. Laws can be evaded and punishment escaped but an openly transgressed custom brings sure punishment.

I am not one of those who in expressing opinions confine themselves to facts.

Work is a necessary evil to be avoided.

The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to other creatures; but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creature that cannot.

He had discovered a great law of human action, without knowing it – namely, that in order to make a man or a boy covet a thing, it is only necessary to make the thing difficult to obtain.

Of all the animals, man is the only one that is cruel. He is the only one that inflicts pain for the pleasure of doing it.

A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.

Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.

Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising.

Let us not be too particular; it is better to have old secondhand diamonds than none at all.

You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.

The history of our race, and each individual’s experience, are sown thick with evidence that a truth is not hard to kill and that a lie told well is immortal.

A human being has a natural desire to have more of a good thing than he needs.

The universal brotherhood of man is our most precious possession, what there is of it.

Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.

It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.

It takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you: the one to slander you, and the other to get the news to you.

Man is the Only Animal that Blushes. Or needs to.

There are several good protections against temptations, but the surest is cowardice.

The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.

Let us so live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.