Tag: Max Eastman

Cute Dogs Quotes

Posted on August 23, 2012 by

“I talk to him when I’m lonesome like; and I’m sure he understands. When he looks at me so attentively, and gently licks my hands; then he rubs his nose on my tailored clothes, but I never say naught thereat. For the good Lord knows I can buy more clothes, but never a friend like that.” – W. Dayton Wedgefarth

“If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one.” – Andy Rooney

“The great pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself too.” – Samuel Butler

“Dogs laugh, but they laugh with their tails.” – Max Eastman

“If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.” – Will Rogers

“They never talk about themselves but listen to you while you talk about yourself, and keep up an appearance of being interested in the conversation.” – Jerome K. Jerome

“The dog was created specially for children. He is the god of frolic.” – Henry Ward Beecher

“Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog’s face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window.” – Steve Bluestone

“Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.” – Roger Caras

“No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does.” – Christopher Morley

“A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.” – Robert Benchley

“There is no faith which has never yet been broken, except that of a truly faithful dog.” – Konrad Lorenz

“Dogs, the foremost snobs in creation, are quick to notice the difference between a well-clad and a disreputable stranger.” – Albert Payson Terhune

“You think dogs will not be in heaven? I tell you, they will be there long before any of us.” – Robert Louis Stevenson

“To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is to be back in Eden, where doing nothing was not boring – it was peace.” – Milan Kundera

“I named my dog Stay so I can say, “Come here, Stay. Come here, Stay.” – Steven Wright

“Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.” – Robert A. Heinlein

April Fool’s Day Quotes

Posted on March 31, 2011 by

April Fool’s Day is here. Let’s celebrate it with some useful April Fool’s Day Quotes.

April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four. ~Mark Twain, Pudd’nhead Wilson, 1894

April fool, n. The March fool with another month added to his folly. ~Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictionary

Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me. ~Chinese Proverb

Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee,
And I’ll forgive Thy great big one on me. ~Robert Frost, “Cluster of Faith,” 1962

He who is born a fool is never cured. ~Proverb

Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed. ~Mark Twain

If every fool wore a crown, we should all be kings. ~Welsh Proverb

I hope life isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it. ~Jack Handey

We’re fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance. ~Japanese Proverb

You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time. ~Abraham Lincoln

Even the gods love jokes. ~Plato

The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected. ~Will Rogers

A man always blames the woman who fools him. In the same way he blames the door he walks into in the dark. ~Henry Louis Mencken

A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools. ~Douglas Adams

It is the ability to take a joke, not make one, that proves you have a sense of humor. ~Max Eastman

Don’t give cherries to pigs or advice to fools. ~Irish Proverb

A sense of humor is the ability to understand a joke-and that the joke is oneself. ~Clifton Paul Fadiman

It is better to weep with wise men than to laugh with fools. ~Spanish Proverb

I have great faith in fools – self-confidence, my friends call it. ~Edgar Allan Poe

The aim of a joke is not to degrade the human being, but to remind him that he is already degraded. ~George Orwell

Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke? ~Rita Rudner

Suppose the world were only one of God’s jokes, would you work any the less to make it a good joke instead of a bad one? ~George Bernard Shaw

Real friends are those who, when you feel you’ve made a fool of yourself, don’t feel you’ve done a permanent job. ~Author Unknown

One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. “Oh, no,” I said. “Disneyland burned down.” He cried and cried, but I think that deep down, he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late. ~Jack Handey

Optimism Quotes

Posted on February 13, 2011 by

Being optimistic is one of the best thing you can do in your life. Life is easier and happier for an optimistic person. Let me show you some great optimism quotes to make you a more motivating day. Relax and enjoy.

Nothing lasts forever? Not even your troubles. – Arnold H Glasgow

Every exit is an entry somewhere. – Tom Stoppard

The world is full of cactus, but we don’t have to sit on it. – Will Foley

There can’t be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full. – Henry Kissinger

Optimist: Person who travels on nothing from nowhere to happiness. – Mark Twain

There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle. – Albert Einstein

I would rather stay positive and get 60 percent good results than stay negative and get 100 percent bad results. – Joyce Meyer

The person who sends out positive thoughts activates the world around him positively and draws back to himslef positive results. – Norman Vincent Peale

We have been taught to believe that negative equals realistic and positive equals unrealistic. – Susan Jeffers

Not knowing when the dawn will come, I open every door. – Emily Dickinson

Some days there won’t be a song in your heart. Sing anyway. – Emory Austin

If winter comes, can spring be far behind? – Percy Bysshe Shelley

Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow. – Helen Keller

You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything, even poverty, you can survive it. – Bill Cosby

I think the next best thing to solving a problem is finding some humor in it. – Frank A. Clark

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight. – Unknown

Carry laughter with you wherever you go. – Hugh Sidey

If we couldn’t laugh, we would all go insane. – Jimmy Buffet

Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face. – Victor Hugo

Humor is the instinct for taking pain playfully. – Max Eastman

If you don’t learn to laugh at trouble, you won’t have anything to laugh at when you’re old. – Edgar Watson Howe

Optimism and humor are the grease and glue of life. Without both of them we would never have survived our captivity. – Philip Butler

Optimists are nostalgic about the future. – Chicago Tribune

Optimism is the foundation of courage. – Nicholas Murray Butler

Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope or confidence. – Helen Keller

The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true. – James Branch Cabell

A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty. – Winston Churchill

An optimist may see a light where there is none, but why must the pessimist always run to blow it out? – Michel De Saint-Pierre

No pessimist ever discovered the secrets of the stars, or sailed to an uncharted land, or opened a new heaven to the human spirit. – Helen Keller

In the long run the pessimist may be proved right, but the optimist has a better time on the trip. – Daniel L. Reardon

Both optimists and pessimists contribute to our society. The optimist invents the airplane and the pessimist the parachute. – Gladys Bronwys Stern

Become a possibilitarian. No matter how dark things seem to be or actually are, raise your sights and see possibilities — always see them, for they’re always there. – Norman Vincent Peale

Some people are always grumbling because roses have thorns; I am thankful that thorns have roses. – Alphonse Karr

Laugh Quotes

Posted on January 29, 2010 by

– “I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.” – Woody Allen

– “At the height of laughter, the universe is flung into a kaleidoscope of new possibilities. ” – Jean Houston

– “Even if there is nothing to laugh about, laugh on credit.” – Unknown

– “Mirth is God’s medicine. Everybody ought to bathe in it.” – Henry Ward Beecher

– “Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.” – Jack Handey, “Deep Thoughts”, Saturday Night Live

– “The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.” – Unknown

– “Laughter is an instant vacation.” – Milton Berle

– “What monstrous absurdities and paradoxes have resisted whole batteries of serious arguments, and then crumbled swiftly into dust before the ringing death-knell of a laugh!” – Agnes Repplier

– “So many tangles in life are ultimately hopeless that we have no appropriate sword other than laughter.” – Gordon W. Allport

– “Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.” – Victor Borge

– “What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul.” – Yiddish Proverb

– “When people are laughing, they’re generally not killing each other.” – Alan Alda

– “Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward.” – Kurt Vonnegut

– “A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor’s book.” – Irish Proverb

– “Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event, deal with it and then move on.” – Bob Newhart

– “A hearty laugh gives one a dry cleaning, while a good cry is a wet wash.” – Puzant Kevork Thomajan

– “There can never be enough said of the virtues, dangers, the power of a shared laugh.” – Françoise Sagan

– “I’ve always thought that a big laugh is a really loud noise from the soul saying, «Ain’t that the truth.»” – Quincy Jones

– “Laughter is the corrective force which prevents us from becoming cranks.” – Henri Bergson

– “Dogs laugh, but they laugh with their tails. What puts man in a higher state of evolution is that he has got his laugh on the right end.” – Max Eastman

– “A man isn’t poor if he can still laugh.” – Raymond Hitchcock

– “Maturity is a bitter disappointment for which no remedy exists, unless laughter can be said to remedy anything.” – Kurt Vonnegut

– “Remember, men need laughter sometimes more than food.” – Anna Fellows Johnston

– “No man who has once heartily and wholly laughed can be altogether irreclaimably bad.” – Thomas Carlyle, Sartor Resartus, Book I, chapter 4

– “You can’t deny laughter; when it comes, it plops down in your favorite chair and stays as long as it wants.” – Stephen King, Hearts in Atlantis

– “With the fearful strain that is on me night and day, if I did not laugh I should die.” – Abraham Lincoln

– “Whoever said “laughter is the best medicine” never had gonorrhea.” – Kat Likkel and John Hoberg, My Name Is Earl, “Robbed a Stoner Blind”, original airdate 16 November 2006

– “Man, when you lose your laugh you lose your footing.” – Ken Kesey