Categories
Funny Quotes

Quotes on Humor

“Laugh as much as possible, always laugh. It’s the sweetest thing one can do for oneself & one’s fellow human beings.” – Maya Angelou

“A good laugh makes any interview, or any conversation, so much better.” – Barbara Walters

“He who laughs, lasts.” – Mary Pettibone Poole

“A good laugh overcomes more difficulties and dissipates more dark clouds than any other one thing.” – Laura Ingalls Wilder

“There is nothing like a gleam of humor to reassure you that a fellow human being is ticking inside a strange face.” – Eva Hoffman

“Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.” – Bill Cosby

“A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It’s jolted by every pebble on the road.” – Henry Ward Beecher

“It is a curious fact that people are never so trivial as when they take themselves seriously.” – Oscar Wilde

“When humor goes, there goes civilization.” – Erma Bombeck

“A sense of humor… is needed armor. Joy in one’s heart and some laughter on one’s lips is a sign that the person down deep has a pretty good grasp of life.” – Hugh Sidey

“A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done” – Dwight D. Eisenhower

“I think the next best thing to solving a problem is finding some humor in it.” – Frank A. Clark

“No mind is thoroughly well organized that is deficient in a sense of humor.” – Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Funny Quotes“Comedy is acting out optimism.” – Robin Williams

“A well-developed sense of humor is the pole that adds balance to your steps as you walk the tightrope of life.” – William Arthur Ward

“Humor can alter any situation and help us cope at the very instant we are laughing.” – Allen Klein

“Humor is just another defense against the universe.” – Mel Brooks

“Humor is laughing at what you haven’t got when you ought to have it.” – Langston Hughes

“Humor is perhaps a sense of intellectual perspective: an awareness that some things are really important, others not; and that the two kinds are most oddly jumbled in everyday affairs.” – Christopher Morley

“If you could choose one characteristic that would get you through life, choose a sense of humor.” – Jennifer Jones

“Humor is something that thrives between man’s aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth.” – Victor Borge

“Humor is the affectionate communication of insight.” – Leo Rosten

“Like a welcome summer rain, humor may suddenly cleanse and cool the earth, the air and you.” – Langston Hughes

“Next to power without honor, the most dangerous thing in the world is power without humor.” – Eric Sevareid

“The more I live, the more I think that humor is the saving sense.” – Jacob August Riis

Categories
Famous Quotes

Famous Quotes for Christmas

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree is the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other. – Burton Hillis

The only blind person at Christmastime is he who has not Christmas in his heart. – Helen Keller

Once again we find ourselves enmeshed in the Holiday Season, that very special time of year when we join with our loved ones in sharing centuries-old traditions such as trying to find a parking space at the mall. We traditionally do this in my family by driving around the parking lot until we see a shopper emerge from the mall, then we follow her, in very much the same spirit as the Three Wise Men, who 2,000 years ago followed a star, week after week, until it led them to a parking space. – Dave Barry

Christmas, my child, is love in action. Every time we love, every time we give, it’s Christmas. – Dale Evans Rogers

This, the spirit of Christmas, that forever and ever endures. May it leave its richest blessing in the hearts of you and yours. – Author Unknown

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year. – Victor Borge

Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall. – Larry Wilde

From home to home, and heart to heart, from one place to another. The warmth and joy of Christmas brings us closer to each other. – Emily Matthews

The joy of brightening other lives, bearing each others’ burdens, easing other’s loads and supplanting empty hearts and lives with generous gifts becomes for us the magic of Christmas. – WC Jones

Perhaps the best Yuletide decoration is being wreathed in smiles. – Unknown

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Funny Quotes

Funny Sarcastic Quotes

“Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you a member of Congress, but I repeat myself.” – Mark Twain

“Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone.” – A. B. Evans

“You don’t say civilization don’t advance – for every war they kill you a new way.” – Will Rogers

“The tongue is the only instrument that gets sharper with use.” – Colin Jarman

“Critics are the stupid who discuss the wise.” – Anonymous

“A critic is a man who writes about things he doesn’t like” – Anonymous

“I love criticism just as long as it’s unqualified praise.” – Noel Coward

“A critic is a man created to praise greater men than himself, but he is never able to find them.” – Richard Le Gallienne

“The difference between journalism and literature is that journalism is unreadable and literature is not read.” – Oscar Wilde

“When an opera singer sings her head off, she usually improves her appearance.” – Victor Borge

“The fastest way to a man’s heart is through his chest.” – Roseanne Arnold

“The power with her is that she lacks the power of conversation, but not the power of speech.” – George Bernard Shaw

“I know she is outspoken, but by who?” – Dorothy Parker

“You don’t know a woman, until you’ve met her in court.” – Norman Mailer

“Women are like elephants to me; they’re nice to look at, but I wouldn’t want to own one.” – W.C. Fields

“Women have a passion for mathematics. They divide their age in half, double the price of their clothes, and always add at least five years to the age of their best friends.” – Marcel Achard

“A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.” – Anonymous

“Whatever women do, they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.”- Charlotte Whitton

“A man’s love is incomplete until he has married. Then he’s finished.” – Zsa Zsa Gabor

“Adam came first, but men always do.” – Anonymous

“If they can put one man on the moon, why can’t they put them all there?” – Anonymous

“Women have their faults. Men have only two: Everything they say. Everything they do.” – Anonymous

“Japanese are extremely good imitators and they so polite, they even copy the mistakes.” – Earl Scrugge

“If you’re gong to Paris you would do well to remember this: no matter how politely or distinctly you ask a Parisian a question he will persist in answering you in French.” – Fran Lebowits

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Funny Quotes

Funny Family Quotes

“Some family trees bear an enormous crop of nuts.” – Wayne H.

“The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.” – Sam Levenson

“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.” – George Burns

“Family: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space.” – Evan Esar

“Families are like fudge – mostly sweet with a few nuts.” – Anonymous

“Parents are not interested in justice, they’re interested in peace and quiet.” – Bill Cosby

“My husband and I have decided to start a family while my parents are still young enough to look after them.” – Rita Rudner

“Having a two-year-old is like having a blender that you don’t have the top for.” – Jerry Seinfeld

“There are two things in life for which we are never truly prepared: Twins.” – Josh Billings

“Wealth is any income that is at least one hundred dollars a year more than the income of one’s wife’s sister’s husband.” – HL Mencken

“A father is someone who carries pictures in his wallet where his money used to be.” – Anonymous

“Santa Claus has the right idea. Only visit people once a year.” – Victor Borge

“My mother didn’t breast feed me. She said she just liked me as a friend.” – Rodney Dangerfield

“I’m going home next week. It’s a kind of energency – my parents are coming here.” – Rita Rudner

“I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.” – Rodney Dangerfield

“Teenagers, are you tired of being harassed by your stupid parents? Act now. Move out, get a job, and pay your own bills – while you still know everything.” – John Hinde

“Friends are God’s apology for relations.” – Hugh Kingsmill

Categories
Funny Quotes Life Quotes

Funny Sarcastic Sayings About Life

“What we feel and think and is to a great extent determined by the state of our ductless glands and viscera ” – Aldous Huxley

“Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.” – Mark Twain

“Reality is just a crutch for people who can’t cope with drugs.” – Robin Williams

“God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.” – Robin Williams

“Politics: ‘Poli’ a Latin word meaning ‘many’; and ‘tics’ meaning ‘bloodsucking creatures’.” – Robin Williams

“People say satire is dead. It’s not dead; it’s alive and living in the White House.” – Robin Williams

“Ah, yes, divorce … from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet.” – Robin Williams

“He was happily married – but his wife wasn’t. ” – Victor Borge

Categories
Life Quotes

Laugh Quotes

– “I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.” – Woody Allen

– “At the height of laughter, the universe is flung into a kaleidoscope of new possibilities. ” – Jean Houston

– “Even if there is nothing to laugh about, laugh on credit.” – Unknown

– “Mirth is God’s medicine. Everybody ought to bathe in it.” – Henry Ward Beecher

– “Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.” – Jack Handey, “Deep Thoughts”, Saturday Night Live

– “The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.” – Unknown

– “Laughter is an instant vacation.” – Milton Berle

– “What monstrous absurdities and paradoxes have resisted whole batteries of serious arguments, and then crumbled swiftly into dust before the ringing death-knell of a laugh!” – Agnes Repplier

– “So many tangles in life are ultimately hopeless that we have no appropriate sword other than laughter.” – Gordon W. Allport

– “Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.” – Victor Borge

– “What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul.” – Yiddish Proverb

– “When people are laughing, they’re generally not killing each other.” – Alan Alda

– “Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward.” – Kurt Vonnegut

– “A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor’s book.” – Irish Proverb

– “Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event, deal with it and then move on.” – Bob Newhart

– “A hearty laugh gives one a dry cleaning, while a good cry is a wet wash.” – Puzant Kevork Thomajan

– “There can never be enough said of the virtues, dangers, the power of a shared laugh.” – Françoise Sagan

– “I’ve always thought that a big laugh is a really loud noise from the soul saying, «Ain’t that the truth.»” – Quincy Jones

– “Laughter is the corrective force which prevents us from becoming cranks.” – Henri Bergson

– “Dogs laugh, but they laugh with their tails. What puts man in a higher state of evolution is that he has got his laugh on the right end.” – Max Eastman

– “A man isn’t poor if he can still laugh.” – Raymond Hitchcock

– “Maturity is a bitter disappointment for which no remedy exists, unless laughter can be said to remedy anything.” – Kurt Vonnegut

– “Remember, men need laughter sometimes more than food.” – Anna Fellows Johnston

– “No man who has once heartily and wholly laughed can be altogether irreclaimably bad.” – Thomas Carlyle, Sartor Resartus, Book I, chapter 4

– “You can’t deny laughter; when it comes, it plops down in your favorite chair and stays as long as it wants.” – Stephen King, Hearts in Atlantis

– “With the fearful strain that is on me night and day, if I did not laugh I should die.” – Abraham Lincoln

– “Whoever said “laughter is the best medicine” never had gonorrhea.” – Kat Likkel and John Hoberg, My Name Is Earl, “Robbed a Stoner Blind”, original airdate 16 November 2006

– “Man, when you lose your laugh you lose your footing.” – Ken Kesey