money experience – Friendship Quotes – a large collection of famous and inspirational quotes

Sarcastic Quotes

Posted on February 23, 2011February 23, 2011 by

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.

Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good.

Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.

Stupidity got us into this mess – why can’t it get us out?

Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.

Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly and for the same reason.

An optimist thinks that this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears that this is true.

There is always death and taxes; however death doesn’t get worse every year.

People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them that Benjamin Franklin said it first.

It’s easier to fight for one’s principles than to live up to them.

I don’t mind going nowhere as long as it’s an interesting path.

Anything free is worth what you pay for it.

Indecision is the key to flexibility.

It hurts to be on the cutting edge.

If it ain’t broke, fix it till it is.

I don’t get even, I get odder.

In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.

I always wanted to be a procrastinator, never got around to it.

Dijon vu – the same mustard as before.

I am a nutritional overachiever.

My inferiority complex is not as good as yours.

I am having an out of money experience.

I plan on living forever. So far, so good.

I am in shape. Round is a shape.

Not afraid of heights – afraid of widths.

Practice safe eating – always use condiments.

A day without sunshine is like night.

I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.

If marriage were outlawed, only outlaws would have in-laws.

I am not a perfectionist. My parents were though.

Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hair stylist you like.

You’re getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.

One of life’s mysteries is how a two pound box of candy can make a woman gain five pounds.

It’s frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.

The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

Time may be a great healer, but it’s also a lousy beautician.

Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.

Age doesn’t always bring wisdom, sometimes age comes alone.

Life not only begins at forty, it begins to show.

You don’t stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stopped laughing.

Gas Prices Quotes

Posted on March 14, 2010March 14, 2010 by

– “Finland has produced so many brilliant distance runners because back home it costs $2.50 a gallon for gas.” – Esa Tikkannen, 1979

– “I am having an out of money experience.” – Unknown

– “The use of solar energy has not been opened up because the oil industry does not own the sun.” – Ralph Nader

– “The bicycle is the most efficient machine ever created: Converting calories into gas, a bicycle gets the equivalent of three thousand miles per gallon.” – Bill Strickland

– “Business is the art of extracting money from another man’s pocket without resorting to violence.” – Max Amsterdam

– “Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.” – Steven Wright

– “I figured out Karl Rove’s political strategy – make gas so expensive, no Democrats can afford to go to the polls.” – John Kerry

– “Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.” – George Carlin

– “It’s better to have beer in hand than gas in tank.” – Unknown

– “Even if gas prices fall, consumers will continue to be gouged at the pump. The only thing that we can be sure rises faster that the price of gasoline is the skyrocketing profits of oil companies.” – R. Owens

– “A pedestrian is someone who thought there were a couple of gallons left in the tank.” – Unknown

– “If inflation continues to soar, you’re going to have to work like a dog just to live like one.” – George Gobel

– “Man is the animal that intends to shoot himself out into interplanetary space, after having given up on the problem of an efficient way to get himself five miles to work and back each day.” – Bill Vaughan

– “Walking isn’t a lost art – one must, by some means, get to the garage.” – Evan Esar

– “The shortest distance between two points is under construction.” – Noelie Altito

– “Restore human legs as a means of travel. Pedestrians rely on food for fuel and need no special parking facilities.” – Lewis Mumford

– “In the old days a man who saved money was a miser; nowadays he’s a wonder.” – Unknown