Calvin Trillin – Friendship Quotes – a large collection of famous and inspirational quotes

20 Humor Quotes

Posted on July 10, 2012 by

1. If it weren’t for my lawyer, I’d still be in prison. It went a lot faster with two people digging. —Joe Martin

2. Acquaintance, n.: A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. —Ambrose Bierce

3. I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. —Noel Coward

4. The difference between death and taxes is death doesn’t get worse every time Congress meets. —Will Rogers

5. You know you’re getting old when you stop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there. —George Burns

6. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana. —Groucho Marx

7. Those are my principles. If you don’t like them I have others.—Groucho Marx

8. Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped. —Sam Levenson

9. Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum sonatur. —Unknown Author

10. The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found. —Calvin Trillin

11. The tooth fairy teaches children that they can sell body parts for money. —David Richerby

12. My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don’t really know me. —Garry Shandling

13. I don’t deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don’t deserve that either. —Jack Benny

14. I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific. —Lily Tomlin

15. If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets. —Mel Brooks

16. If I only had a little humility, I’d be perfect. —Ted Turner

17. When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. —Henny Youngman

18. The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made. —Groucho Marx

19. Hofstadter’s Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter’s Law. —Douglas Hofstadter

20. Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger. —Franklin P. Jones

Imagination Quotes

Posted on March 13, 2010 by

– “A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile the moment a single man contemplates it, bearing within him the image of a cathedral.” – Antoine de Saint-Exupery

– “All men who have achieved great things have been great dreamers.” – Orison Swett Marden

– “Everything that is new or uncommon raises a pleasure in the imagination, because it fills the soul with an agreeable surprise, gratifies its curiosity, and gives it an idea of which it was not before possessed.” – Joseph Addison

– “Fiction reveals truths that reality obscures.” – Jessamyn West

– “I am imagination. I can see what the eyes cannot see. I can hear what the ears cannot hear. I can feel what the heart cannot feel.” – Peter Nivio Zarlenga

– “I believe in the imagination. What I cannot see is infinitely more important than what I can see.” – Duane Michals

– “I doubt that the imagination can be suppressed. If you truly eradicated it in a child, he would grow up to be an eggplant.” – Ursula K. Le Guin

– “I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, it’s a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, and that enables you to laugh at life’s realities.” – Theodor Geisel

– “I never did very well in math – I could never seem to persuade the teacher that I hadn’t meant my answers literally.” – Calvin Trillin

– “I paint objects as I think them, not as I see them.” – Pablo Picasso

– “I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free.” – Michelangelo

– “If everyone is thinking alike, then somebody isn’t thinking.” – George S. Patton

– “Imagination and fiction make up more than three quarters of our real life.” – Simone Weil

– “Imagination has brought mankind through the dark ages to its present state of civilization. Imagination led – “Columbus to discover America. Imagination led Franklin to discover electricity.” – L. Frank Baum

– “Imagination rules the world.” – Napoleon Bonaparte

– “Imagination will often carry us to worlds that never were. But without it we go nowhere.” – Carl Sagan

– “It is the eye of ignorance that assigns a fixed and unchangeable color to every object; beware of this stumbling block.” – Paul Gauguin

– “It’s a poor sort of memory that only works backwards.” – Lewis Carroll

– “It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.” – Henry David Thoreau

– “Live out of your imagination, not your history.” – Stephen Covey