Friendship Quotes – a large collection of famous and inspirational quotes
MenuI’ve selected for you two of the best alcohol quotes. Most funniest ones, though. I’ll be happy if you would tell me what’s your favorite. If you know another funny alcohol quote, I’ll be glad to hear it.
“It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.” – George F. Burns
“Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.” – Frank Sinatra
By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day. – Robert Frost
Life is like a ten-speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use. – Charles Schulz
Opportunity is always knocking. The problem is that most people have the self-doubt station in their head turned up way too loud to hear it. – Brian Vaszily
Some people develop a wishbone where their back bone should be. – Anonymous
Life begins at 40 – but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times. – Helen Rowland
You grow up the day you have your first real laugh – at yourself. – Ethel Barrymore
Opportunity dances with those who are already on the dance floor. – Jackson Brown
I knew I was going to take the wrong train, so I left early. – Yogi Berra
I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying. – Oscar Wilde
I’ve got all the money I’ll ever need, if I die by four o’clock. – Henny Youngman
Burn your computer. Blow up your TV. Bludgeon your cell phone. Breathe deeply. This, my friends, is the secret to inner-peace. – Brian Vaszily
People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily. – Zig Ziglar
God is dead – Nietzsche Nietzsche is dead. – God
Five out of four people have trouble with fractions. – Unknown
A clear conscience is a sure sign of a bad memory. – Unknown
Life is not about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well you bounce. – Unknown
I’ve developed a new philosophy… I only dread one day at a time. – Charles Schulz
None of us is as dumb as all of us. – Unknown
Many of us spend half our time wishing for things we could have if we didn’t spend half our time wishing. – Alexander Woollcott
If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into committees. That’ll do them in. – Unknown
I feel like a fugitive from the law of averages. – William Mauldin
If I had a dollar for every time someone came to me with not only a problem but also a possible solution to that problem, I’d have six dollars. – Brian Vaszily
Always remember that you are unique. Just like everybody else. – Unknown
Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday. – Dale Carnegie
To do is to be. – Descartes
To be is to do. – Voltaire
Do be do be do. – Frank Sinatra
“I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.” –Homer Simpson
“People who drink light “beer” don’t like the taste of beer; they just like to pee a lot.” –Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI.
“I’m not a heavy drinker, I can sometimes go for hours without touching a drop.” –Noel Coward
“Drinking Light Beer is like having sex in a canoe…fucking close to water. – Unknown
“I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.” –Frank Sinatra
“An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.” –Ernest Hemingway
“A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.” –W.C. Fields
“24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?” –Stephen Wright
“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” –Benjamin Franklin
“Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.” –Dave Barry
“When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.” –Henny Youngman
“Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn’t drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, “It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.” –Jack Handy
“All right, brain, I don’t like you and you don’t like me – so let’s just do this and I’ll get back to killing you with beer.” –Homer Simpson
“You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.” –Dean Martin
“I drink to make other people interesting.” –George Jean Nathan
“Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.” –Dave Barry
