Joey Adams – Friendship Quotes – a large collection of famous and inspirational quotes

Famous and Funny Psychology Quotes

Posted on February 5, 2011February 5, 2011 by

– “Behavioral psychology is the science of pulling habits out of rats.” – Douglas Busch

– “Psychology is the science of the act of experiencing, and deals with the whole system of such acts as they make up mental life.” – Samuel Alexander

– “Psychoanalysis is confession without absolution.” – G.K. Chesterton

– “Like all science, psychology is knowledge; and like science again, it is knowledge of a definite thing, the mind.” – James M. Baldwin

– “A vigorous five-mile walk will do more good for an unhappy but otherwise healthy adult than all the medicine and psychology in the world.” – Paul Dudley White

– “The aim of psychoanalysis is to relieve people of their neurotic unhappiness so that they can be normally unhappy.” – Sigmund Freud

– “A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.” – Joey Adams

– “There are cases where psychoanalysis works worse than anything else. But who said that psychoanalysis was to be applied always and everywhere.” – C.G. Jung

– “There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.” – Ben Williams

– “Psychology keeps trying to vindicate human nature. History keeps undermining the effort.” – Mason Cooley

– “A wonderful discovery, psychoanalysis. Makes quite simple people feel they’re complex.” – S.N. Behrman

– “Psychology has a long past, but only a short history.” – Hermann Ebbinghaus

– “A neurotic is a man who builds a castle in the air. A psychotic is the man who lives in it. A psychiatrist is the man who collects the rent.” – Jerome Lawrence

– “The two main hazards of psychoanalysis: that it might fail, and that if it succeeds, you’ll never be able to forgive yourself for all those wasted years.” – Mignon McLaughlin

– “The purpose of psychology is to give us a completely different idea of the things we know best.” – Paul Valéry

– “Psychiatry is probably the single most destructive force that has affected the American society within the last fifty years.” – Thomas S. Szasz

– “Psychoanalysis can provide a theory of ‘progress,’ but only by viewing history as a neurosis.” – Norman O. Brown, Life Against Death

Extremely Funny Quotes

Posted on December 24, 2010December 24, 2010 by

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings. – Unknown

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. – Robert Bloch

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils … – Louis Hector Berlioz

It’s true that we don’t know what we’ve got until we lose it, but it’s also true that we don’t know what we’ve been missing until it arrives. – Unknown

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway. – Unknown

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d rather not. – Mark Twain

I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar. – Unknown

Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you’ll be disconnected! – Unknown

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people. – Unknown

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep — not screaming, like the passengers in his car. – Unknown

Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers. – Homer Simpson

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance? – Unknown

Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn’t find anyone to copy it from. – Unknown

Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway. – Joey Adams

Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else. – Unknown

Ask me no questions, and I’ll tell you no lies. – Oliver Goldsmith