Friendship Quotes – a large collection of famous and inspirational quotes

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Tag: John Mortimer

Birthday Quotes

Celebrate your birthday with a great portion of enjoyable birthday quotes.

“Nobody grows old merely by living a number of years. We grow old by deserting our ideals. Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul.” –Samuel Ullman

“At age 20, we worry about what others think of us. At 40, we don’t care what they think of us. At 60, we discover they haven’t been thinking of us at all.” –Ann Landers

“Maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you’ve had, and what you’ve learned from them, and less to do with how many birthdays you’ve celebrated.” –Unknown

“And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.” –Abraham Lincoln

“It takes a long time to grow young.” –Pablo Picasso

“We turn not older with years, but newer every day.” – Emily Dickinson

“One of the signs of passing youth is the birth of a sense of fellowship with other human beings as we take our place among them.” –Virginia Woolf

“May you live all the days of your life.” –Jonathan Swift

“Old people are fond of giving good advice; it consoles them for no longer being capable of setting a bad example.” –Francois De La Rochefoucauld

“Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.” –Caryn Leschen

“The follies which a man regrets most in his life are those which he didn’t commit when he had the opportunity.” – Helen Rowland

“You are as young as your faith, as old as your doubt; as young as your self-confidence, as old as your fear; as young as your hope, as old as your despair.” –Douglas MacArthur

“Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children.” –George Bernard Shaw

“Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.” –Bob Hope

“Middle age: The time when you’ll do anything to feel better, except give up what is hurting you.” –Robert Quillen

“Growing old is a bad habit which a busy man has no time to form.” –Andre Maurois

“You can’t turn back the clock. But you can wind it up again.” –Bonnie Prudden

“In spite of illness, in spite even of the archenemy sorrow, one can remain alive long past the usual date of disintegration if one is unafraid of change, insatiable in intellectual curiosity, interested in big things, and happy in small ways.” –Edith Wharton

“For the first half of your life, people tell you what you should do; for the second half, they tell you what you should have done.” – Richard Needham

“The years teach much which the days never knew.” –Ralph Waldo Emerson

“A man’s age is something impressive, it sums up his life: maturity reached slowly and against many obstacles, illnesses cured, griefs and despairs overcome, and unconscious risks taken; maturity formed through so many desires, hopes, regrets, forgotten things, loves. A man’s age represents a fine cargo of experiences and memories.” –Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

“There is no pleasure worth forgoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward.” – John Mortimer

“We are happier in many ways when we are old than when we were young. The young sow wild oats. The old grow sage.” –Sir Winston Churchill

“Men are like wine: some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.” –Pope John XXIII

“Though we seem grieved at the shortness of life in general, we are wishing every period of it at an end. The minor longs to be at age, then to be a man of business, then to make up an estate, then to arrive at honors, then to retire.” –Joseph Addison

“You have been warned against letting the golden hours slip by. Yes, but some of them are golden only because we let them slip by.” –James Barrie

Funny Quotes to make you laugh

Men are like steel; both are worthless when they loose their temper. — Source Unknown

What if “the hokey pokey” is REALLY what it’s all about? — Curtis Spencer

We are the people our parents warned us about. — Jimmy Buffett

Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them…well, I have others. — Groucho Marx

The nice part of living in a small town is that when I don’t know what I’m doing, someone else does. — Source Unknown

USA Today has come out with a new survey-apparently, three out of every four people make up 75 percent of the population. — Dave Letterman

You know there is a problem with the education system when you realize that out of the 3 R’s only one begins with an R. — Dennis Miller

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. — Albert Einstein

Hain’t we got all the fools in town on our side? And hain’t that a big enough majority in any town? — Mark Twain

A good metaphor is something even the police should keep an eye on. — G. C. Lichtenberg

I admire the serene assurance of those who have religious faith. It is wonderful to observe the calm confidence of a Christian with four aces. — Mark Twain

Although it is generally known, I think it’s about time to announce that I was born at a very early age. — Groucho Marx

I know the answer! The answer lies within the heart of all mankind! The answer is twelve? I think I’m in the wrong building. — Charles Shulz

Convent. A place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon the sin of idleness. — Ambrose Bierce

I adore political parties. They are the only place left to us where people don’t talk politics. — Oscar Wilde

Plagiarists at least have the quality of preservation. — Benjamin Disraeli

I believe in equality for everyone, except reporters and photographers. — Mahatma Gandhi

Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy — the mother. — Claudette Colbert

If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments. — Flip Wilson

I know all those people. I have friendly, social, and criminal relations with the whole lot of them. — Mark Twain

A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother why the bride changed her mind. What do you mean? responded her mother. Well, she went down the aisle with one man, and came back with another. — Source Unknown

If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you. — Groucho Marx

The trouble with the world is not that people know too little, but that they know so many things that ain’t so. — Mark Twain

He has not a single redeeming defect. — Benjamin Disraeli

When you get to my age life seems little more than one long march to and from the lavatory. — John Mortimer

Last night the creative juices were flowing but today I am merely a vast wasteland of random thoughts. — Peckeroy

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it. — Groucho Marx

In Mexico an air conditioner is called a politician because it makes a lot of noise but doesn’t work very well. — Len Deighton

My sole inspiration is a telephone call from a director. — Cole Porter

He believes that marriage and a career don’t mix. So after the wedding he plans to quit his job. — Source Unknown