Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please. Better a broken promise than none at all. It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech. Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. It is easier to stay out than get out. Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow. Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul. A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way. Honesty is the best policy – when there is money in it. If the world comes to an end, I want to be in Cincinnati. Everything comes there ten years later. A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval. Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter. Loyalty to the country always. Loyalty to the government when it deserves it. Some men deserve compliments, but the only one that is welcome to a modest man is the one that is undeserved. Ideally a book would have no order to it, and the reader would have to discover his own. Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often. Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more. It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog. A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar. Golf is a good walk spoiled. It’s good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. Man – a creature made at the end of the week’s work when God was tired. I have made it a rule never to smoke more that one cigar at a time. I make it a rule never to smoke while I’m sleeping. Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest. Man will do many things to get himself loved, he will do all things to get himself envied. The more you explain it, the more I don’t understand it.