Today we celebrate Mark Twain’s birthday in our own, favorite way: sharing quotes. Let me show you some wonderful inspirational Mark Twain Quotes.
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
No sinner is ever saved after the first twenty minutes of a sermon.
Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid.
Nothing so needs reforming as other people’s habits.
Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.
One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.
Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial “we.”
Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.
Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it.
Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.
Prophesy is a good line of business, but it is full of risks.
Prosperity is the best protector of principle.
Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.
Repartee is something we think of twenty-four hours too late.
Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run.
Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough.
Substitute “damn” every time you’re inclined to write “very”; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.
Such is the human race, often it seems a pity that Noah… didn’t miss the boat.
“We have the best government that money can buy.”
“Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.”
“Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.”
“I never let schooling interfere with my education.”
“I have been complimented many times and they always embarrass me; I always feel that they have not said enough.”
“Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.”
“Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.”
“Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.”
Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.
Better a broken promise than none at all.
It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.
Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.
It is easier to stay out than get out.
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul.
A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.
Honesty is the best policy – when there is money in it.
If the world comes to an end, I want to be in Cincinnati. Everything comes there ten years later.
A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.
Loyalty to the country always. Loyalty to the government when it deserves it.
Some men deserve compliments, but the only one that is welcome to a modest man is the one that is undeserved.
Ideally a book would have no order to it, and the reader would have to discover his own.
Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often.
Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.
It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog.
A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar.
Golf is a good walk spoiled.
It’s good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.
Man – a creature made at the end of the week’s work when God was tired.
I have made it a rule never to smoke more that one cigar at a time.
I make it a rule never to smoke while I’m sleeping.
Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
Man will do many things to get himself loved, he will do all things to get himself envied.
The more you explain it, the more I don’t understand it.