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Oscar Wilde and Mark Twain Hilarious Quotes

I love hilarious quotes, especially from great people, like Mark Twain and Oscar Wilde. Let me share with you some of them: “A man’s face is his autobiography. A woman’s face is her work of fiction.” – Oscar Wilde “Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.” – Oscar Wilde “Journalism is unreadable, literature is never read.” – Oscar Wilde “Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.” -Oscar Wilde “A true friend stabs you in the front.”-Oscar Wilde “It is very easy to endure the difficulties of one’s enemies. It is the successes of one’s friends that are hard to bear.” – Oscar Wilde “Women are never disarmed by compliments. Men always are. That is the difference between the sexes.” – Oscar Wilde “The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.” – Oscar Wilde “I couldn’t help it. I can resist everything except temptation.” – Oscar Wilde “Conscience and cowardice are really the same things.” – Oscar Wilde “A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.” -Oscar Wilde “The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on. It is never of any use to oneself.” -Oscar Wilde “There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.” – Oscar Wilde “Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.” – Oscar Wilde “One should never trust a woman who tells her real age. If she tells that, she’ll tell anything.” – Oscar Wilde “No woman should ever be quite accurate about her age. It looks so calculating.” – Oscar Wilde “Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.” – Oscar Wilde “If you tell the truth you don’t have to remember anything.” – Mark Twain “When angry count four; when very angry, swear.” – Mark Twain “Always do right – this will gratify some and astonish the rest.” – Mark Twain “A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is just putting on its shoes.” – Mark Twain “Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it.” – Mark Twain “Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.” -Mark Twain “In the first place God made idiots; that was for practice; then he made school boards.” – Mark Twain “Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” -Mark Twain “Honesty is the best policy — when there is money in it.” – Mark Twain “Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.” – Mark Twain “It is better to be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.” – Mark Twain