Funny Quotes from Unknown People
I’ve managed to post here some great funny quotes from some unknown people, but related to today’s times.
– I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.
-More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can’t wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that’s not only better, but also more directly involves me.
-Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.
-How are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
-I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.
-Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the “people you may know” feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?
– LOL has gone from meaning, “laugh out loud” to “I have nothing else to say”.
– I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
– Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.
– Whenever someone says “I’m not book smart, but I’m street smart”, all I hear is “I’m not real smart, but I’m imaginary smart”.
– How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear what they said?
– While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and i nstinctively swerved to avoid it…thanks Mario Kart.
– MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
– Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
-Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I’m from, this shouldn’t be
-You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you’ve made up your mind that you just aren’t doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
-I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
– “Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this ever.
-I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There’s so much pressure. ‘I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren’t watching this. It’s only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?’
-I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Darn!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What’d you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?
– I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
What’s your favorite?