Friendship Quotes – a large collection of famous and inspirational quotes

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Funny Quotes from Unknown People

I’ve managed to post here some great funny quotes from some unknown people, but related to today’s times.

– I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.

-More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can’t wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that’s not only better, but also more directly involves me.

-Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.

-How are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

-I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.

-Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the “people you may know” feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?

– LOL has gone from meaning, “laugh out loud” to “I have nothing else to say”.

– I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

– Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.

– Whenever someone says “I’m not book smart, but I’m street smart”, all I hear is “I’m not real smart, but I’m imaginary smart”.

– How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear what they said?

funny quotes– While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and i nstinctively swerved to avoid it…thanks Mario Kart.

– MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

– Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

-Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I’m from, this shouldn’t be
a problem….

-You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you’ve made up your mind that you just aren’t doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

-I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

– “Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this ever.

-I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There’s so much pressure. ‘I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren’t watching this. It’s only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?’

-I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Darn!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What’d you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?

– I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

What’s your favorite?

Internet Quotes

– “Nowadays, anyone who cannot speak English and is incapable of using the Internet is regarded as backward.” – Prince Alwaleed Bin Talal Alsaud

– “If you look at the top 20 companies of the world, 19 of them are still brick-and-mortar companies. I have nothing against tech companies. What I am saying is that if you have a car manufacturer or an oil and gas manufacturer, you won’t get the supply over the Net.” – Anil Ambani

– “Some say Google is God. Others say Google is Satan. But if they think Google is too powerful, remember that with search engines unlike other companies, all it takes is a single click to go to another search engine.” – Sergey Brin

– “It’s important for us to explain to our nation that life is important. It’s not only life of babies, but it’s life of children living in, you know, the dark dungeons of the Internet.” – George Bushism

– “The Internet is based on a layered, end-to-end model that allows people at each level of the network to innovate free of any central control. By placing intelligence at the edges rather than control in the middle of the network, the Internet has created a platform for innovation.” – Vinton Cerf

– “They say a year in the Internet business is like a dog year.. equivalent to seven years in a regular person’s life. In other words, it’s evolving fast and faster.” – Vinton Cerf

– “Science fiction does not remain fiction for long. And certainly not on the Internet.” – Vinton Cerf

– “The remarkable social impact and economic success of the Internet is in many ways directly attributable to the architectural characteristics that were part of its design. The Internet was designed with no gatekeepers over new content or services.” – Vinton Cerf

– “I must confess that I’ve never trusted the Web. I’ve always seen it as a coward’s tool. Where does it live? How do you hold it personally responsible? Can you put a distributed network of fiber-optic cable “on notice”? And is it male or female? In other words, can I challenge it to a fight?” – Stephen Colbert

– “I think it’s a good thing that there are bloggers out there watching very closely and holding people accountable. Everyone in the news should be able to hold up to that kind of scrutiny. I’m for as much transparency in the newsgathering process as possible.” – Anderson Cooper

– “There are managers so preoccupied with their e-mail messages that they never look up from their screens to see what’s happening in the nondigital world.” – Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

– “The new information technology, Internet and e-mail, have practically eliminated the physical costs of communications.” – Peter Drucker

– “Thousands of people were producing new Web sites every day. We were just trying to take all that stuff and organize it to make it useful.” – David Filo

– “We’re not in this for the fast money. Really, what we want is to be part of this industry.” – David Filo

– “We started Yahoo in about April 1994. It started out as a way for us to keep track of things that we were interested in.” – David Filo

– “First of all we had very few users. We might have had a hundred accesses a day. So there was really no demand from the users to add their own links. Things changed over time though as our access rates doubled every month. Through word of mouth on the Net more and more people began using it.” – David Filo

– “The Net as a whole is not that reliable, so our blips in service don’t cause major problems. However, we are certainly working on improving our own reliability as well as those sites that we depend on.” – David Filo

– “The most important ways in which I think the Internet will affect the big issue is that it will make it more difficult for government to collect taxes.” – Milton Friedman

– “Like almost everyone who uses e-mail, I receive a ton of spam every day. Much of it offers to help me get out of debt or get rich quick. It would be funny if it weren’t so exciting.” – Bill Gates

– “Information technology and business are becoming inextricably interwoven. I don’t think anybody can talk meaningfully about one without the talking about the other.” – Bill Gates

– “I think it’s fair to say that personal computers have become the most empowering tool we’ve ever created. They’re tools of communication, they’re tools of creativity, and they can be shaped by their user.” – Bill Gates

– “The Internet will help achieve “friction free capitalism” by putting buyer and seller in direct contact and providing more information to both about each other.” – Bill Gates

– “Paper is no longer a big part of my day. I get 90% of my news online, and when I go to a meeting and want to jot things down, I bring my Tablet PC. It’s fully synchronized with my office machine so I have all the files I need.” – Bill Gates

– “We’re at the point now where the challenge isn’t how to communicate effectively with e-mail, it’s ensuring that you spend your time on the e-mail that matters most.” – Bill Gates