Friendship Quotes – a large collection of famous and inspirational quotes

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Funny Hater Quotes

Behind every bitch is a man that made her that way

I hate two faced people. It’s hard to decide which face to slap first.

Sweetie, if your going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty.

I may look calm, but in my head, I’ve killed you three times.

You’re only young once, but you can be immature forever.

I love listening to lies, when I know the truth.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Dear Lord, please give me the strength to not slap an idiot today…Amen

Does this dress make me look fat? No, it’s the fat that makes you look fat.

If anybody sends me anymore farmville requests, I will burn your crops and destroy your animals!

Never take back what you say, turn your back and walk away!

Drama is made for movies, not reality!

Drama, lies, tears…teenage years.

Sorry…I’m not Rihanna. I don’t love the way you lie.

Love me, hate me, just think, you’re thinking of me!

You talk it. We live it. You’re jealous. Admit it.

It’s not my fault your man wants me.

My name must taste good! It’s always in someone’s mouth

Save the drama for your mama!

If you don’t like me – who the hell cares!

People will always talk about you… might as well give them something to talk about

Keep talkin: you’re making me famous!

A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day.

If you don’t know me, THEN DON’T JUDGE ME! Nobody said you had to “love me”!

Speak well of your enemies – You were the one who made them!

To all you haters – Do what you do. I sure as hell ain’t gonna waste my time on YOU!

Hating on a certain name only gives them the fame.

25 Inspiring Quotes

1. If you want to be happy, be. – Leo Tolstoy

2. The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up. – Mark Twain

3. Happiness is excitement that has found a settling down place. But there is always a little corner that keeps flapping around. – E.L. Konigsburg

4. Man is fond of counting his troubles, but he does not count his joys. If he counted them up as he ought to, he would see that every lot has enough happiness provided for it. – Fyodor Dostoevsky

5. You must first be who you really are, then do what you need to do, in order to have what you want. – Margaret Young

6. This is my “depressed stance”. When you’re depressed, it makes a lot of difference how you stand. The worst thing you can do is straighten up and hold your head high because then you’ll start to feel better. If you’re going to get any joy out of being depressed, you’ve go to stand like this. – Charlie Brown

7. Happiness is not a goal; it is a by-product. – Eleanor Roosevelt

8. Jumping for joy is good exercise. – Unknown

9. One joy scatters a hundred griefs. – Chinese proverb

10. My advice to you is not to inquire why or whither, but just enjoy your ice cream while it’s on your plate. – Thornton Wilder

11. Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things. – Robert Brault

12. Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony. – Mahatma Gandhi

13. All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them. – Walt Disney

14. The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. – Eleanor Roosevelt

15. Every now and then go away and have a little relaxation. To remain constantly at work will diminish your judgment. Go some distance away, because work will be in perspective and a lack of harmony is more readily seen. – Leonardo DaVinci

16. The path involves respect for all small and subtle things. Learn to recognize the right moment to strike the necessary attitudes. – Manual of the Warrior of Light

17. I say “Out” to every negative thought that comes to my mind. No person, place, or thing has any power over me, for I am the only thinker in my mind. I create my own reality and everyone in it. – Louise Hay

18. The thing that is really hard and really amazing is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself. – Anna Quindlen

19. I am woman! I am invincible! I am pooped! – Unknown

20. If you’re going through hell, keep going. – Winston Churchill

21. Your problem is you’re too busy holding onto your unworthiness. – Ram Dass

22. Trust your gut. – Barbara Walters

23. Action is the antidote to despair. – Joan Baez

24. She took the leap and built her wings on the way down. – Unknown

25. You have brains in your head and feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You’re on your own and you know what you know. And you are the one who’ll decide where to go. – Dr. Seuss

J. D. Salinger Quotes

– “All morons hate it when you call them a moron.”

– “An artist’s only concern is to shoot for some kind of perfection, and on his own terms, not anyone else’s.”

– “Goddam money. It always ends up making you blue as hell.”

– “He had a theory, Walt did, that the religious life, and all the agony that goes with it, is just something God sics on people who have the gall to accuse Him of having created an ugly world.”

– “How do you know you’re going to do something, untill you do it?”

– “How long should a man’s legs be? Long enough to touch the ground.”

– “I am a kind of paranoid in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy.”

– “I don’t even like old cars. I’d rather have a goddam horse. A horse is at least human, for God’s sake.”

– “I don’t exactly know what I mean by that, but I mean it.”

– “I was about half in love with her by the time we sat down. That’s the thing about girls. Every time they do something pretty… you fall half in love with them, and then you never know where the hell you are.”

– “I’m quite illiterate, but I read a lot.”

– “I’m sick of just liking people. I wish to God I could meet somebody I could respect.”

– “I’m sick of not having the courage to be an absolute nobody.”

– “I’m the most terrific liar you ever saw in your life.”

– “If a girl looks swell when she meets you, who gives a damn if she’s late? Nobody.”

– “It was a very stupid thing to do, I’ll admit, but I hardly didn’t even know I was doing it.”

– “It’s funny. All you have to do is say something nobody understands and they’ll do practically anything you want them to.”

– “Its really hard to be roommates with people if your suitcases are much better than theirs.”

– “Mothers are all slightly insane.”

– “People never believe you.”

Yogi Berra Quotes

U1283561INP– “This is like deja vu all over again.”
– “You can observe a lot just by watching.”
– “He must have made that before he died.” — Referring to a Steve McQueen movie.
– “I want to thank you for making this day necessary.” — On Yogi Berra Appreciation Day in St. Louis in 1947.
– “I’d find the fellow who lost it, and, if he was poor, I’d return it.” — When asked what he would do if he found a million dollars.
– “Think! How the hell are you gonna think and hit at the same time?”
– “You’ve got to be very careful if you don’t know where you’re going, because you might not get there.”
– “I knew I was going to take the wrong train, so I left early.”

– “If you don’t know where you are going, you will wind up somewhere else.”

– “If you can’t imitate him, don’t copy him.”

– “You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I’m not hungry enough to eat six.”

– “Baseball is 90% mental — the other half is physical.”

– “It was impossible to get a conversation going; everybody was talking too much.”

– “Slump? I ain’t in no slump. I just ain’t hitting.”

– “A nickel isn’t worth a dime today.”

– “Nobody goes there anymore; it’s too crowded.”

– “It gets late early out there.” — Referring to the bad sun conditions in left field at the stadium.

– “Glen Cove.” — Referring to Glenn Close on a movie review television show.

– Once, Yogi’s wife Carmen asked, “Yogi, you are from St. Louis, we live in New Jersey, and you played ball in New York. If you go before I do, where would you like me to have you buried?” Yogi replied, “Surprise me.”

– “Do you mean now?” — When asked for the time.

– “I take a two hour nap, from one o’clock to four.”

– “If you come to a fork in the road, take it.”

– “You give 100 percent in the first half of the game, and if that isn’t enough in the second half you give what’s left.”

– “90% of the putts that are short don’t go in.”

– “I made a wrong mistake.”

– “Texas has a lot of electrical votes.” — During an election campaign, after George Bush stated that Texas was important to the election.

– “Thanks, you don’t look so hot yourself.” — After being told he looked cool.

– “I always thought that record would stand until it was broken.”

– “Yeah, but we’re making great time!” — In reply to “Hey Yogi, I think we’re lost.”

– “If the fans don’t come out to the ball park, you can’t stop them.”

– “Why buy good luggage? You only use it when you travel.”

– “It’s never happened in the World Series competition, and it still hasn’t.”

– “How long have you known me, Jack? And you still don’t know how to spell my name.” — Upon receiving a check from Jack Buck made out to “bearer.”

– “I’d say he’s done more than that.” — When asked if first baseman Don Mattingly had exceeded expectations for the current season.

– “The other teams could make trouble for us if they win.”

– “He can run anytime he wants. I’m giving him the red light.” — On the acquisition of fleet Ricky Henderson.

– “I never blame myself when I’m not hitting. I just blame the bat, and if it keeps up, I change bats. After all, if I know it isn’t my fault that I’m not hitting, how can I get mad at myself?”

– “It ain’t the heat; it’s the humility.”

– “The towels were so thick there I could hardly close my suitcase.”

– “You should always go to other people’s funerals; otherwise, they won’t come to yours.”

– “I didn’t really say everything I said.”