Friendship Quotes – a large collection of famous and inspirational quotes

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Funny and Humorous Quotes

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. – Robert Bloch

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway. – Unknown

Everyone has photographic memory; some just don’t have the film. – Unknown

Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else. – Unknown

funny and humorous quotesEverybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die. – Unknown

Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans – John Lennon

Borrow money from a pessimist – they don’t expect it back. – Unknown

You can be young without money but you can’t be old without it. – Unknown

Summer is the season when the air pollution is much warmer – Unknown

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. – Maryon Pearson

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance? – Unknown

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. – Unknown

What do you mean, my birth certificate expired? – Unknown

When I eventually met Mr Right I had no idea that his first name was Always. – Rita Rudner

Sarcastic Quotes

If you’re one in a million, there are six thousand people exactly like you.

Don’t be humble. You’re not that great.

I feel so miserable without you, it’s almost like having you here.

He was happily married – but his wife wasn’t.

He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.

If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

Sarcasm I now see to be, in general, the language of the devil.

Someone who thinks logically, provides a nice contrast to the real world.

You were looking good from afar.. now you’re far from looking good.

I like you. People say I’ve got no taste, but I like you.

Nothing is more discouraging than unappreciated sarcasm.

Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.

We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.

The grass may be greener on the other side but at least you don’t have to mow it.

There’s too much blood in my caffeine system.

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian, any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

A person who aims at nothing is sure to hit it.

I’m impressed, I’ve never met such a small mind inside such a big head before.

If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

Violence won’t solve anything….But it sure makes me feel good.

Sarcasm is the body’s natural defense against stupidity.

Think I am sarcastic?
Watch me pretend to care!

That is the ugliest top Ive ever seen, yet it compliments your face perfectly.

I don’t believe in plastic surgery,
But in your case,
Go ahead.

My loyalty cannot be brought, however, it can be rented.

I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.

I’m not crazy! The voices tell me I am entirely sane.

Kobe Bryant Quotes

kobe_bryant– “Everyting negative – pressure, challenges – is all an opportunity for me to rise.”
– “I dont want to be the next Michael Jordan, I only want to be Kobe Bryant.”
– “I’ll do whatever it takes to win games, whether it’s sitting on a bench waving a towel, handing a cup of water to a teammate, or hitting the game-winning shot.”
– “I’m chasing perfection.”
– “My parents are my backbone. Still are. They’re the only group that will support you if you score zero or you score 40.”
– “There’s been a lot of talk of me being a one-man show but that’s simply not the case. We win games when I score 40 points and we’ve won when I score 10.”
– “These young guys are playing checkers. I’m out there playing chess.”