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Top 20 Dwight Schrute Quotes

When my mother was pregnant with me, they did an ultrasound and found she was having twins. When they did another ultrasound a few weeks later, they discovered that I had adsorbed the other fetus. Do I regret this? No, I believe his tissue has made me stronger. I now have the strength of a grown man and a little baby.

I am faster than 80% of all snakes.

I don’t care what Jim says, that is not Benjamin Franklin. I am 99% sure.

I don’t believe you, continue.

Reject a woman, and she will never let it go. One of the many defects of their kind. Also, weak arms.

When I die. I want to be frozen. And if they have to freeze me in pieces, so be it. I will wake up stronger than ever, because I will have used that time, to figure out exactly why I died. And what moves I could have used to defend myself better now that I know what hold he had me in.

The eyes are the groin of the head.

My feelings regenerate at twice the speed of a normal man

Before I do anything I ask myself “Would an idiot do that?” And if the answer is yes, I do not do that thing.

Dwight Schrute QuotesYou know whats better than a triceratops. Only every other dinosaur that has ever existed.

Dolphins get a lot of good publicity for the drowning swimmers they push back to shore, but what you don’t hear about is the many people they push farther out to sea! Dolphins aren’t smart. They just like pushing things.

There are 40 rules all Schrute boys must learn by age 5. Rule #17- There are 3 things you never turn your back on- bears, men you have wronged, and a dominant male turkey during mating season.

I train my major blood vessels to retract into my body on command. Also, I can retract my penis up into itself.

Question…
Would I ever leave this company? Look, I’m all about loyalty. In fact, I feel like part of what I’m being paid for here is my loyalty. But if there were somewhere else that valued loyalty more highly, I’m going wherever they value loyalty the most.

How would I describe myself? Three words: hard working, alpha male, jackhammer…merciless…insatiable…

I am fast. To give you a reference point I am somewhere between a snake and a mongoose…and a panther.

The problem, Jim, is that people who are really suffering from a medical condition won’t receive the care they need because someone in this office is coming up with ridiculous stuff. Count Choculitis….Why did you write that down, Jim? Is it because you know I love Count Chocula?

I grew up on a farm. I have seen animals having sex in every position imaginable. Goat on chicken. Chicken on goat. Couple of chickens doing a goat, couple of pigs watching.

Security in this office park is a joke. Last year I came to work with my spud-gun in a duffel bag. I sat at my desk all day with a rifle that shoots potatoes at 60 pounds per square inch. Can you imagine if I was deranged?

Constantin Brancusi Quotes

Constantin Brancusi is said to be the most famous Romanian sculptor. Today, we celebrate his birthday. We do it in our own way, sharing Constantin Brancusi quotes. Enjoy and share!

Architecture is inhabited sculpture.

Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave.

Don’t look for obscure formulas or mystery in my work. It is pure joy that I offer you. Look at my sculptures until you see them. Those closest to God have seen them.

Simplicity is not an objective in art, but one achieves simplicity despite one’s self by entering into the real sense of things.

Theories are patterns without value. What counts is action.

There hasn’t been any art yet. Art is just beginning.

They are imbeciles who call my work abstract. That which they call abstract is the most realistic, because what is real is not the exterior but the idea, the essence of things.

I ground matter to find the continuous line. And when I realized I could not find it, I stopped, as if an unseen someone had slapped my hands.

Things are not difficult to make; what is difficult is putting ourselves in the state of mind to make them.

To see far is one thing, going there is another.

What is real is not the external form, but the essence of things… it is impossible for anyone to express anything essentially real by imitating its exterior surface.

When you see a fish you don’t think of its scales, do you? You think of its speed, its floating, flashing body seen through the water… If I made fins and eyes and scales, I would arrest its movement, give a pattern or shape of reality. I want just the flash of its spirit.

Famous Leadership Quotes

Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail. – Harold R. McAlindon

Leadership: The art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it. – Dwight D. Eisenhower

There go the people. I must follow them for I am their leader. – Alexandre Ledru-Rollin

What chance gathers she easily scatters. A great person attracts great people and knows how to hold them together. – Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

A general is just as good or just as bad as the troops under his command make him. – General Douglas MacArthur

The real leader has no need to lead– he is content to point the way. – Henry Miller

Go to the people. Learn from them. Live with them. Start with what they know. Build with what they have. The best of leaders when the job is done, when the task is accomplished, the people will say we have done it ourselves. – Lao Tzu

A leader is a dealer in hope. – Napoleon Bonaparte

Rely on your own strength of body and soul. Take for your star self-reliance, faith, honesty and industry. Don’t take too much advice — keep at the helm and steer your own ship, and remember that the great art of commanding is to take a fair share of the work. Fire above the mark you intend to hit. Energy, invincible determination with the right motive, are the levers that move the world. – Noah Porter

If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader. – John Quincy Adams

He who has never learned to obey cannot be a good commander. – Aristotle

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy. – Martin Luther King, Jr. (from Christian Leadership World)

Any one can hold the helm when the sea is calm. – Publilius Syrus

Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity. – George Patton

Where there is no vision, the people perish. – Proverb

Misfortunes, untoward events, lay open, disclose the skill of a general, while success conceals his weakness, his weak points. –Horace

In this world a man must either be an anvil or hammer. – Henry W. Longfellow

I light my candle from their torches. – Robert Burton

Leadership does not always wear the harness of compromise. – Woodrow Wilson

The greater a man is in power above others, the more he ought to excel them in virtue. None ought to govern who is not better than the governed. – Publius Syrus

A bold onset is half the battle. – Giuseppe Garibaldi

The power is detested, and miserable the life, of him who wishes to be feared rather than to be loved. – Cornelius Nepos

To be a great leader and so always master of the situation, one must of necessity have been a great thinker in action. An eagle was never yet hatched from a goose’s egg. – James Thomas

Ill can he rule the great that cannot reach the small. – Edmund Spenser

He who has learned how to obey will know how to command. – Solon

When I give a minister an order, I leave it to him to find the means to carry it out. – Napoleon Bonaparte

No man can stand on top because he is put there. – H. H. Vreeland

A ruler should be slow to punish and swift to reward. – Ovid

It is impossible to imagine anything which better becomes a ruler than mercy. – Seneca

No man is good enough to govern another man without that other’s consent. – Abraham Lincoln

What you cannot enforce do not command. – Sophocles

No general can fight his battles alone. He must depend upon his lieutenants, and his success depends upon his ability to select the right man for the right place. – Philip Armour

To do great things is difficult; but to command great things is more difficult. – Friedrich Nietzsche

It is absurd that a man should rule others, who cannot rule himself. (Absurdum est ut alios regat, qui seipsum regere nescit.) – Latin Proverb

Let him who would be moved to convince others, be first moved to convince himself. – Thomas Carlyle

A good general not only sees the way to victory; he also knows when victory is impossible. – Polybius