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Mark Twain Quotes

mark-twain– “A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.”
– “A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.”
– “Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.”
– “Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.”

– “An Englishman is a person who does things because they have been done before. An American is a person who does things because they haven’t been done before.”

– “Barring that natural expression of villainy which we all have, the man looked honest enough.”

– “Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.”

– “By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity — another man’s I mean.”

– “Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.”

– “Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear – not absence of fear.”

– “Do something every day that you don’t want to do; this is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain.”

– “Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.”

– “Don’t part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.”

– “Education: that which reveals to the wise, and conceals from the stupid, the vast limits of their knowledge.”

– “Facts are stubborn things, but statistics are more pliable.”

– “Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn’t.”

– “Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.”

– “Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.”

– “Habit is habit and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs a step at a time.”

– “Honesty is the best policy – when there is money in it.”

– “Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.”

– “I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.”

– “I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying that I approved of it.”

– “I don’t give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way.”

– “I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington. He could not lie; I can, but I won’t.”

– “I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.”

– “I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.”

– “I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.”

– “I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.”

Mark Twain Quotes

Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.

Better a broken promise than none at all.

It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.

Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.

It is easier to stay out than get out.

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul.

A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.

Honesty is the best policy – when there is money in it.

If the world comes to an end, I want to be in Cincinnati. Everything comes there ten years later.

A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

Loyalty to the country always. Loyalty to the government when it deserves it.

Some men deserve compliments, but the only one that is welcome to a modest man is the one that is undeserved.

Ideally a book would have no order to it, and the reader would have to discover his own.

Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often.

Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.

It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog.

A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar.

Golf is a good walk spoiled.

It’s good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.

Man – a creature made at the end of the week’s work when God was tired.

I have made it a rule never to smoke more that one cigar at a time.

I make it a rule never to smoke while I’m sleeping.

Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.

Man will do many things to get himself loved, he will do all things to get himself envied.

The more you explain it, the more I don’t understand it.