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20 Homer Simpson Quotes on Parenting

Homer Simpson Quotes1.) “Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is another nail.”

2.) “OK, son. Just remember to have fun out there today, and if you lose, I’LL KILL YOU!”

3.) “No, no, no, Lisa. If adults don’t like their jobs, they don’t go on strike. They just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American Way.”

4.) “I don’t apologize. I am sorry Lisa, that’s the way I am.”

5.) “You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.”

6.) “The code of the schoolyard, Marge! The rules that teach a boy to be a man. Let’s see. Don’t tattle. Always make fun of those different from you. Never say anything, unless you’re sure everyone feels exactly the same way you do. What else…”

7.) “I have to work overtime at work instead of spending time with my wife and kids, which is what I want.”

8.) “When I look at the smiles on all the children’s faces, I just know they’re about to jab me with something.”

9.) “Marge, there’s an empty spot I’ve always had inside me. I tried to fill it with family, religion, community service, but those were dead ends! I think this chair is the answer.”

10.) “I think the saddest day of my life was when I realized I could beat my Dad at most things, and Bart experienced that at the age of four.”

11.) “Kids are great, Apu. You can teach them to hate the things you hate and they practically raise themselves now-a-days, you know, with the internet and all.”

12.) “Marge, don’t discourage the boy! Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals! Except the weasel.”

13.) “Don’t eat me. I have a wife and kids. Eat them.”

14.) “What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts. ”

15.) “Movies are the only escape from the drudgery of work and family … No offense.”

16.) “Remember as far as anyone knows, we’re a nice normal family.”

17.) “It’s not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in 8 hours of TV a day.”

18.) “Kids, kids. As far as Daddy’s concerned, you’re both potential murderers.”

19.) “Well, it’s 1 a.m. Better go home and spend some quality time with the kids. ”

20.) “Quiet you kids. If I hear one more word, Bart doesn’t get to watch cartoons, and Lisa doesn’t get to go to college.”

Best Motivational Sports Quotes for Kids

The strength of the group is the strength of the leaders. – Vince Lombardi

Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever. – Lance Armstrong

You can motivate players better with kind words than you can with a whip. – Bud Wilkinson

You are never really playing an opponent. You are playing yourself, your own highest standards, and when you reach your limits, that is real joy. – Arthur Ashe

Luck? Sure. But only after long practice and only with the ability to think under pressure. – Babe Didrikson Zaharias

Some people say I have attitude – maybe I do…but I think you have to. You have to believe in yourself when no one else does – that makes you a winner right there. – Venus Williams

In sports, you simply aren’t considered a real champion until you have defended your title successfully. Winning it once can be a fluke; winning it twice proves you are the best. – Althea Gibson