– “A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.”
– “A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.”
– “Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.”
– “Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.”
– “An Englishman is a person who does things because they have been done before. An American is a person who does things because they haven’t been done before.”
– “Barring that natural expression of villainy which we all have, the man looked honest enough.”
– “Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.”
– “By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity — another man’s I mean.”
– “Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.”
– “Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear – not absence of fear.”
– “Do something every day that you don’t want to do; this is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain.”
– “Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.”
– “Don’t part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.”
– “Education: that which reveals to the wise, and conceals from the stupid, the vast limits of their knowledge.”
– “Facts are stubborn things, but statistics are more pliable.”
– “Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn’t.”
– “Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.”
– “Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.”
– “Habit is habit and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs a step at a time.”
– “Honesty is the best policy – when there is money in it.”
– “Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.”
– “I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.”
– “I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying that I approved of it.”
– “I don’t give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way.”
– “I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington. He could not lie; I can, but I won’t.”
– “I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.”
– “I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.”
– “I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.”
– “I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.”