Friendship Quotes – a large collection of famous and inspirational quotes

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Day: February 26, 2011

Realities of Life

Appear weak when you are strong, and strong when you are weak. – Sun Tzu
By always taking out and never putting in, the bottom is soon reached. – Spanish proverb
Do not impose on others what you yourself do not desire. – Confucius
He who obtains has little. He who scatters has much. – Lao Tzu
He who speaks without modesty will find it difficult to make his words good. – Confucius
If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow. – Chinese proverb
If you look into your own heart, and you find nothing wrong there, what is there to worry about? What is there to fear? – Confucius
If you shoot for the stars and hit the moon, it’s OK. But you’ve got to shoot for something. A lot of people don’t even shoot. – Confucius
If you want one year of prosperity, grow grain. If you want ten years of prosperity, grow trees. If you want one hundred years of prosperity, grow people. – Chinese Proverb
Mastering others is strength. Mastering yourself is true power. – Lao Tzu
Notice that the stiffest tree is most easily cracked, while the bamboo or willow survives by bending with the wind. – Bruce Lee
The cautious seldom err. – Confucius
The faults of a superior person are like the sun and moon. They have their faults, and everyone sees them; they change and everyone looks up to them. – Confucius
The firm, the enduring, the simple, and the modest are near to virtue. – Confucius
The man of wisdom is never in two minds about right and wrong; the man of benevolence never worries about the future; the man of courage is never afraid. – Confucius
The more man meditates upon good thoughts, the better will be his world and the world at large. – Confucius
The reputation of a thousand years may be determined by the conduct of one hour. – Japanese proverb
The superior man acts before he speaks, and afterwards speaks according to his action. – Confucius
The superior man is distressed by the limitations of his ability; he is not distressed by the fact that men do not recognize the ability that he has. – Confucius
The superior man is modest in his speech, but exceeds in his actions. – Confucius
The superior man makes the difficulty to be overcome his first interest; success only comes later. – Confucius
The superior man thinks always of virtue; the common man thinks of comfort. – Confucius
The superior man understands what is right; the inferior man understands what will sell. – Confucius
To go beyond is as wrong as to fall short. – Confucius
When anger rises, think of the consequences. – Confucius
When we see persons of worth, we should think of equaling them; when we see persons of a contrary character, we should turn inwards and examine ourselves. – Confucius
Wisdom, compassion, and courage are the three universally recognized moral qualities of men. – Confucius
Without feelings of respect, what is there to distinguish men from beasts? – Confucius

Dilbert Quotes

1. I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either.
2. I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
3. Tell me what you need, and I’ll tell you how to get along without it.
4. Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days the statue.
5. Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn’t there the first time, chances are you won’t be needing him again.
6. I DON’T HAVE AN ATTITUDE PROBLEM, YOU HAVE A PERCEPTION PROBLEM.
7. Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky, and I thought to myself, “where the heck is the ceiling?”
8. My reality cheque bounced.
9. On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
10. I don’t suffer from stress. I am a carrier.
11. You are slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.
12. Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, because you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
13. Everybody is somebody else’s weirdo.
14. Never argue with idiots. They drag you down to their level, and then beat you with experience.
15. A pat on the back is only a few inches from a kick in the butt.
16. Don’t be irreplaceable. If you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.
17. After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.
18. The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.
19. You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
20. Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
21. If it wasn’t for the last minute, nothing would get done.
22. When you don’t know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
23. Following the rules will not get the job done.
24. When confronted by a difficult problem, you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, “How would the Lone Ranger handle this?”
25. Only the mediocre are at their best all the time.
26. There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.
27. Bring ideas in and entertain them royally, for one of them may be the king.
28. If at first you don’t succeed……skydiving isn’t for you.
29. Life is a waste of time; time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of the time and have the time of your life.
30. When everything is coming your way……you’re in the wrong lane.

Famous Humor Quotes

“Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.” – Oscar Wilde

“There’s so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets?” – Dick Cavett

“Never be afraid to laugh at yourself. After all, you could be missing out on the joke of the century.” – Dame Edna Everage

“That is the saving grace of humor. If you fail no one is laughing at you.” – A. Whitney Brown

“Humor is perhaps a sense of intellectual perspective: an awareness that some things are really important, others not; and that the two kinds are most oddly jumbled in everyday affairs.” – Christopher Morely

“Life is tough, and if you have the ability to laugh at it you have the ability to enjoy it.” – Salma Hayek

“The best jokes are dangerous, and dangerous because they are in some way truthful.” – Kurt Vonnegut

“Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.” – E.B. White

“You are not angry with people when you laugh at them. Humor teaches tolerance.” – W. Somerset Maugham

“I think the next best thing to solving a problem is finding some humor in it.” – Frank Howard Clark