Let’s make our day better with some great funny quotes and sayings. I will appreciate if you choose your favorite and write it in a comment. Thank you!
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station…
When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
I go to bed late every night and I realize it was bad idea every morning.
I always wanted to be someone. I see now that I should have been more specific.
I don’t fail, I succeed in finding what does not work.
Women worry about the things that men forget. Men worry about the things that women remember.
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to, unless you’re in prison.
I’m not lazy, I’m just highly motivated not to do anything.
God must love stupid people. He made SO many.
Eventually people will realize that mistakes are meant for learning, not repeating.
When you’re sober you think twice before you speak, but when you’re drunk you speak twice before you think.
“Don’t compromise yourself. You are all you’ve got” – Janis Joplin
“Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret” – Ambrose Bierce
“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind. ~Dr. Seuss
“Talent is God given. Be humble. Fame is man-given. Be grateful. Conceit is self-given. Be careful.” – John R. Wooden
“You will face many defeats in your life, but never let yourself be defeated”– Maya Angelou
Never tell your problems to anyone…20% don’t care and the other 80% are glad you have them. –Lou Holtz
When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the fire department generally uses water. –Unknown
Never regret. If it’s good, it’s wonderful. If it’s bad, it’s experience –Victoria Holt
“So I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov and there was a check tablecloth. It took him two hours to pass me the salt.”
“ When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realized that The Lord doesn’t work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.”
“ I went to a restaurant that serves ‘breakfast at any time’. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance. “
“ Well I was bullied at school, called all kinds of different names. But one day I turned to my bullies and said – ‘Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me’, and it worked! From there on it was sticks and stones all the way. “
“ My Dad used to say ‘always fight fire with fire’, which is probably why he got thrown out of the fire brigade.“
“ I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.“
“Forty quid Jim – what’s it in, 2p’s?”
“Bullseye wasn’t like any other programme I watched, as it were crap and it were good at the same time.”
“She’s just been trying to change channel with her bloody glasses case!”