Tag: unfamiliar territory

I Love Quotes

Posted on December 4, 2011December 4, 2011 by

“The question is not ‘Is there life after death?’ The question is, ‘Is there life before death?’” — Alan Cohen

“Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.” –Unknown

“All the beautiful sentiments in the world weigh less than a single lovely action.” — James Russell Lowel

“The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.” –Unknown

“Tell your boss what you think of him, and the truth shall set you free.” – Unknown

“This above all; to thine own self be true.” — William Shakespeare

“Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of congress. But I repeat myself.” — Mark Twain

“We are always getting ready to live, but never living” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

“The only time a woman succeeds in changing a man is when he’s a baby.” — Natalie Wood

“I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.” — Lily Tomlin

“When you invest your time and energy in stuff that drags you down, you die a little bit every day.” – Alan Cohen

“The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it’s unfamiliar territory.” –Paul Fix

“Until you try, you don’t know what you can’t do.” –Henry James

“Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.” –Susan Erz

“Be happy while you are living, for you are a long time dead.” –Scottish Proverb

“If you’re going through Hell, keep going.” –Winston Churchill

“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.” –Anne Frank

“Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.” –Mark Twain

“To think you know what is best for another person is an industrial-strength ego trip.” –Alan Cohen

“I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.” –Noel Coward

“If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.” — Regina Brett

“If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask?” — Scott Adams

“You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take.” –Wayne Gretzky

“Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.” –Will Rogers

“Doing your best in this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment.” –Oprah Winfrey

Funny Quotes and Sayings

Posted on August 8, 2011 by

I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.

A day without sunshine is like, night.

On the other hand, you have different fingers.

I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

Some days you’re the dog, and some days you’re the hydrant.

I keep hitting “escape”, but I’m still here.

I just read that YouTube, Twitter, and Facebook are merging. It’ll be called You-Twit-Face.

99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

A vasectomy means never having to say you’re sorry.

I have a drinking problem – I can’t afford it.

When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.

I may not always be right, but I am never wrong.

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

If the grass is greener on the other side, you can bet the water bill is higher.

Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.

Don’t tell me the sky is the limit when we’ve put footprints on the moon.

I just read that YouTube, Twitter, and Facebook are merging. It’ll be called You-Twit-Face.

Politicians and diapers need to be changed regularly, usually for the same reason.

Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.

For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.

A fool is a 37th floor window washer who steps backs to see his work.

I tried to put my head together but now my body is falling apart!!

I like to reminisce with people I don’t know.

Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car.

A penny saved is a government oversight.

I can resist everything except temptation.

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement .

If you think there is good in everybody, you haven’t met everybody.

If you can smile when things go wrong , you have someone in mind to blame.

The sole purpose of a child’s middle name is so he can tell when he’s really in trouble.

Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words ‘The’ and ‘IRS’ together it spells ‘Theirs.’

Going to church no more makes you a Christian than standing in a garage makes you a car.

Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.

Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it’s called golf.

I say no to alcohol, it just doesn’t listen.

A friend in need is a pest indeed.

Work is fine if it doesn’t take too much of your time.

When everything comes your way you’re in the wrong lane.

The light at the end of the tunnel may be an oncoming train..

Born free, taxed to death.

Whether you think you can or can’t, you’re right.

Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don’t have film.

Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first.

Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.

If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you’ll have trouble putting on your pants.

It’s not hard to meet expenses, they are everywhere.

The trouble with being punctual is that no one is there to appreciate it.

In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?

If you cannot change your mind, are you sure you have one?

Beat the 5 o’clock rush, leave work at noon!

If you can’t convince them, confuse them..

It’s not the fall that kills you. It’s the sudden stop at the end.

I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder!

The cigarette does the smoking you are just the sucker.

Someday is not a day of the week

Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.

To Err is human, to forgive is not a Company policy.

The road to success….. Is always under construction.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.

Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does milk.

In order to get a loan, you first need to prove that you don’t need it.

All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive, fattening or married to someone else.

If ignorance is bliss, then I must be the happiest thingamajig in the whatchamacallit!

I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying. [Oscar Wilde]

Silence is golden… duck tape is silver.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming in terror like his passengers.

I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.

I know there’s other fish in the sea, but I lost my pole when the last one got away from me.

Sarcastic Quotes

Posted on December 3, 2010December 3, 2010 by

* You are not as bad as people say, you are much, much worse.
* Now we know why some animals eat their own children.
* Please, keep talking. I always yawn when I am interested.
* Talk is cheap, but that’s ok, so are you.
* If we killed everybody who hates you, it wouldn’t be murderer it would be an apocalypse!
* This is an excellent time for you to become a missing person.
* I’m busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?
* When I look into your eyes, I see straight through to the back of your head.
* A sharp tongue does not mean you have a keen mind.
* Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn’t have given you any worse advice.
* Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today.
* Do you want me to accept you as you are, or do you want me to lie to myself and try to like you?
* Don’t let your mind wander, it’s far too small to be let out on its own.
* Don’t thank me for insulting you, it was a pleasure.
* Don’t you realize that there are enough people to hate in the world already without you putting in so much effort to give us another?
* He always finds himself lost in thought; it’s unfamiliar territory.
* I bet you get bullied a lot.
* I can tell that you are lying, your lips are moving.
* I don’t know what makes you so dumb but it really works.
* I don’t mind you talking so much, as long as you don’t mind me not listening.
* I don’t think you are a fool, but what’s my opinion compared to that of thousands of others.
* I know you are nobody’s fool, but maybe someone will adopt you one day.
* I like you. People say I’ve got no taste, but I like you.
* I used to think that you were a colossal pain in the neck. Now I have a much lower opinion of you.
* I will defend, to your death, my right to my opinion.
* I would have liked to insult you, but the sad truth is that you wouldn’t understand me.
* I’d like to see things from your point of view, but I can’t seem to get my head that far up your ass.
* If you were twice as smart as you are now, you’d be absolutely stupid.
* I’m glad to see you’re not letting your education get in the way of your ignorance.
* I’m impressed, I’ve never met such a small mind inside such a big head before.
* I’ve come across rotting bodies that are less offensive than you are.
* Pardon me, but you’re obviously mistaking me for someone who gives a damn.
* People would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.
* She’s the first in her family born without tail.
* That man is cruelly depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
* There are several people in this world that I find unbearably obnoxious, and you are all of them.
* What he is lacking in intelligence, he more than makes up for in stupidity.
* Whatever it is that is eating you, it must be suffering horribly.
* What’s wrong, don’t you get any attention back home?
* You are not even beneath my contempt.
* You are not obnoxious like so many other people, you are obnoxious in a completely different and far worse way.
* You grow on people, but so does cancer.
* You have an inferiority complex and it is fully justified.
* You should do some soul-searching. You might just find one.
* You would never be able to live down to your reputation, but I see you’re doing your best.
* Your mind isn’t so much twisted as badly sprained.
* You’re a habit I’d like to kick – with both feet.