Friendship Quotes – a large collection of famous and inspirational quotes

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Johnny Carson Quotes

Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.

Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn’t grow up can be vice president.

For days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off.

For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.

Happiness is your dentist telling you it won’t hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill.

I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.

I know you’ve been married to the same woman for 69 years. That is marvelous. It must be very inexpensive.

I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing.

If it weren’t for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we’d still be eating frozen radio dinners.

If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.

Johnny Carson Quotes

If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.

Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.

Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die.

My success just evolved from working hard at the business at hand each day.

Never continue in a job you don’t enjoy. If you’re happy in what you’re doing, you’ll like yourself, you’ll have inner peace. And if you have that, along with physical health, you will have had more success than you could possibly have imagined.

Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do.

New York is an exciting town where something is happening all the time, most unsolved.

People will pay more to be entertained than educated.

Talent alone won’t make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at the right time, unless you are ready. The most important question is: “Are your ready?”

Funny Quotes and Sayings

I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.

A day without sunshine is like, night.

On the other hand, you have different fingers.

I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

Some days you’re the dog, and some days you’re the hydrant.

I keep hitting “escape”, but I’m still here.

I just read that YouTube, Twitter, and Facebook are merging. It’ll be called You-Twit-Face.

99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

A vasectomy means never having to say you’re sorry.

I have a drinking problem – I can’t afford it.

When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.

I may not always be right, but I am never wrong.

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

If the grass is greener on the other side, you can bet the water bill is higher.

Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.

Don’t tell me the sky is the limit when we’ve put footprints on the moon.

I just read that YouTube, Twitter, and Facebook are merging. It’ll be called You-Twit-Face.

Politicians and diapers need to be changed regularly, usually for the same reason.

Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.

For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.

A fool is a 37th floor window washer who steps backs to see his work.

I tried to put my head together but now my body is falling apart!!

I like to reminisce with people I don’t know.

Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car.

A penny saved is a government oversight.

I can resist everything except temptation.

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement .

If you think there is good in everybody, you haven’t met everybody.

If you can smile when things go wrong , you have someone in mind to blame.

The sole purpose of a child’s middle name is so he can tell when he’s really in trouble.

Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words ‘The’ and ‘IRS’ together it spells ‘Theirs.’

Going to church no more makes you a Christian than standing in a garage makes you a car.

Funny Quotes and SayingsAging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.

Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it’s called golf.

I say no to alcohol, it just doesn’t listen.

A friend in need is a pest indeed.

Work is fine if it doesn’t take too much of your time.

When everything comes your way you’re in the wrong lane.

The light at the end of the tunnel may be an oncoming train..

Born free, taxed to death.

Whether you think you can or can’t, you’re right.

Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don’t have film.

Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first.

Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.

If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you’ll have trouble putting on your pants.

It’s not hard to meet expenses, they are everywhere.

The trouble with being punctual is that no one is there to appreciate it.

In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?

If you cannot change your mind, are you sure you have one?

Beat the 5 o’clock rush, leave work at noon!

If you can’t convince them, confuse them..

It’s not the fall that kills you. It’s the sudden stop at the end.

I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder!

The cigarette does the smoking you are just the sucker.

Someday is not a day of the week

Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.

To Err is human, to forgive is not a Company policy.

The road to success….. Is always under construction.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.

Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does milk.

In order to get a loan, you first need to prove that you don’t need it.

All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive, fattening or married to someone else.

If ignorance is bliss, then I must be the happiest thingamajig in the whatchamacallit!

I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying. [Oscar Wilde]

Silence is golden… duck tape is silver.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming in terror like his passengers.

I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.

I know there’s other fish in the sea, but I lost my pole when the last one got away from me.

Fear Quotes

It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live. ~ Marcus Aurelius

A chicken doesn’t stop scratching just because worms are scarce. ~ Grandma Axiom

Terror is as much a part of the concept of truth as runniness is of the concept of jam. We wouldn’t like jam if it didn’t, by its very nature, ooze. We wouldn’t like truth if it wasn’t sticky, if, from time to time, it didn’t ooze blood. ~ Jean Baudrillard

Fear secretes acids; but love and trust are sweet juices. ~ Henry Ward Beecher

Fear is met and destroyed with courage. ~ James F. Bell

Anything I’ve ever done that ultimately was worthwhile… initially scared me to death. ~ Betty Bender

Panic is a sudden desertion of us, and a going over to the enemy of our imagination. ~ Christian Nevell Bovee

When you face your fear, most of the time you will discover that it was not really such a big threat after all. We all need some form of deeply rooted, powerful motivation — it empowers us to overcome obstacles so we can live our dreams. ~ Les Brown

The fear of being wrong is the prime inhibitor of the creative process. ~ Jean Bryant

Fear QuotesWhen one has the feeling of dislike for evil, when one feels tranquil, one finds pleasure in listening to good teachings; when one has these feelings and appreciates them, one is free of fear. ~ Buddha

Do the thing you fear to do and keep on doing it… that is the quickest and surest way ever yet discovered to conquer fear. ~ Dale Carnegie

Fear has many eyes and can see things underground. ~ Miguel De Cervantes

We often pretend to fear what we really despise, and more often despise what we really fear. ~ Charles Caleb Colton

Fear can be conquered. I became a better person and a better football player when I learned that lesson. ~ Roger Craig

A fighter has to know fear. ~ Cus D’Amato

It all changed when I realized I’m not the only one on the planet who’s scared. Everyone else is, too. I started asking people, “Are you scared, too?” “You bet your sweet life I am.” “Aha, so that’s the way it is for you, too.” We were all in the same boat. That’s probably what is so effective at our workshops. When I ask, “Who else feels like this?” the whole room of hands goes up. People realize they are not the only one who feels that way. ~ Stan Dale

The first and great commandment is, “Don’t let them scare you.” ~ Elmer Davis

Fear is the biggest motivator. ~ Bill Dixon

Fear can be headier than whiskey, once man has acquired a taste for it. ~ Donald Downes

My worst fear is that I’ll end up living in some run-down duplex on Wilshire wearing pants hiked up to my nipples and muttering under my breath. ~ Richard Dreyfuss

He without fear is king of the world. ~ E. E. Eddison

Fear defeats more people than any other one thing in the world. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Winners are those people who make a habit of doing the things losers are uncomfortable doing. ~ Ed Foreman

Fear may come true that which one is afraid of. ~ Viktor E. Frankl

Most fear stems from sin; to limit one’s sins, one must assuredly limit one’s fear, thereby bringing more peace to one’s spirit. ~ Marvin Gaye

William Somerset Maugham Quotes

Love is a dirty trick played on us to achieve the continuation of the species.

A man marries to have a home, but also because he doesn’t want to be bothered with sex and all that sort of thing.

An unfortunate thing about this world is that the good habits are much easier to give up than the bad ones.

Any nation that thinks more of its ease and comfort than its freedom will soon lose its freedom; and the ironical thing about it is that it will lose its ease and comfort too.

Anyone can tell the truth, but only very few of us can make epigrams.

At a dinner party one should eat wisely but not too well, and talk well but not too wisely.

Beauty is an ecstasy; it is as simple as hunger. There is really nothing to be said about it. It is like the perfume of a rose: you can smell it and that is all.

Considering how foolishly people act and how pleasantly they prattle, perhaps it would be better for the world if they talked more and did less.

William Somerset Maugham QuotesDeath doesn’t affect the living because it has not happened yet. Death doesn’t concern the dead because they have ceased to exist.

Death is a very dull, dreary affair, and my advice to you is to have nothing whatsoever to do with it.

Every production of an artist should be the expression of an adventure of his soul.

Excess on occasion is exhilarating. It prevents moderation from acquiring the deadening effect of a habit.

Few misfortunes can befall a boy which bring worse consequence than to have a really affectionate mother.

Habits in writing as in life are only useful if they are broken as soon as they cease to be advantageous.

Have common sense and stick to the point.

I can imagine no more comfortable frame of mind for the conduct of life than a humorous resignation.

I made up my mind long ago that life was too short to do anything for myself that I could pay others to do for me.

I would sooner read a time-table or a catalogue than nothing at all. They are much more entertaining than half the novels that are written.

I’ll give you my opinion of the human race in a nutshell… their heart’s in the right place, but their head is a thoroughly inefficient organ.

If a nation values anything more than freedom, it will lose its freedom, and the irony of it is that if it is comfort or money that it values more, it will lose that too.

If you don’t change your beliefs, your life will be like this forever. Is that good news?

Easter Quotes

Let me share with you some wonderful Easter Quotes, because we are almost there :)

The resurrection gives my life meaning and direction and the opportunity to start over no matter what my circumstances. ~Robert Flatt

Easter says you can put truth in a grave, but it won’t stay there. ~Clarence W. Hall

It is the hour to rend thy chains,
The blossom time of souls. ~Katherine Lee Bates

The joyful news that He is risen does not change the contemporary world. Still before us lie work, discipline, sacrifice. But the fact of Easter gives us the spiritual power to do the work, accept the discipline, and make the sacrifice. ~Henry Knox Sherrill

Could life so end, half told; its school so fail?
Soul, soul, there is a sequel to thy tale! ~Robert Mowry Bell

Easter is the demonstration of God that life is essentially spiritual and timeless. ~Charles M. Crowe

Tomb, thou shalt not hold Him longer;
Death is strong, but Life is stronger;
Stronger than the dark, the light;
Stronger than the wrong, the right… ~Phillips Brooks, “An Easter Carol”

Let every man and woman count himself immortal. Let him catch the revelation of Jesus in his resurrection. Let him say not merely, “Christ is risen,” but “I shall rise.” ~Phillips Brooks

On Easter Day the veil between time and eternity thins to gossamer. ~Douglas Horton

Easter spells out beauty, the rare beauty of new life. ~S.D. Gordon

Celestial spirit that doth roll
The heart’s sepulchral stone away,
Be this our resurrection day,
The singing Easter of the soul –
O gentle Master of the Wise,
Teach us to say: “I will arise.” ~Richard Le Gallienne

Great Inspiring Quotes

Let me inspire your day. Let me make it better and happier. Let me share with you some great inspiring quotes! :)

Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature. ~ Helen Keller

Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood. ~ Thomas Carlyle

The art of life is to know how to enjoy a little and to endure very much. ~ William Hazlitt

Death is more universal than life; Everyone dies but not everyone lives. ~ A. Sachs

Find a purpose in life so big it will challenge every capacity to be at your best. ~ David O. McKay

Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by what you bring to life. ~ John Homer Miller

You cannot dream yourself into a character; you must hammer and forge one yourself. -James Anthony Froude

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined. -Henry David Thoreau
The more difficulties one has to encounter, within and without, the more significant and the higher in inspiration his life will be. -Horace Bushnell
The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitude. – William James
Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Best Oscar Wilde Quotes #2

« Best of the Oscar Wilde Quotes #1

– “At twilight, nature is not without loveliness, though perhaps its chief use is to illustrate quotations from the poets.”

– “Beauty is a form of genius – is higher, indeed, than genius, as it needs no explanation. It is of the great facts in the world like sunlight, or springtime, or the reflection in dark water of that silver shell we call the moon.”

– “Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.”

– “Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.”

– “Biography lends to death a new terror.”

– “By giving us the opinions of the uneducated, journalism keeps us in touch with the ignorance of the community.”

– “By persistently remaining single, a man converts himself into a permanent public temptation.”

– “Caricature is the tribute that mediocrity pays to genius.”

– “Charity creates a multitude of sins.”

– “Children begin by loving their parents; after a time they judge them; rarely, if ever, do they forgive them.”

– “Children have a natural antipathy to books – handicraft should be the basis of education. Boys and girls should be taught to use their hands to make something, and they would be less apt to destroy and be mischievous.”

– “Conscience and cowardice are really the same things. Conscience is the trade-name of the firm. That is all.”

– “Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative.”

– “Conversation about the weather is the last refuge of the unimaginative.”

– “Cynic: a man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.”

– “Deceiving others. That is what the world calls a romance.”

– “Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people, by the people, for the people.”

– “Do you really think it is weakness that yields to temptation? I tell you that there are terrible temptations which it requires strength, strength and courage to yield to.”

– “Each class preaches the importance of those virtues it need not exercise. The rich harp on the value of thrift, the idle grow eloquent over the dignity of labor.”

– “Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught.”

– “Every portrait that is painted with feeling is a portrait of the artist, not of the sitter.”

– “Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future.”

– “Everyone should keep someone else’s diary.”

– “Everything popular is wrong.”

– “Experience is one thing you can’t get for nothing.”

– “Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes.”

– “Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.”

– “Fathers should be neither seen nor heard. That is the only proper basis for family life.”

– “Hatred is blind, as well as love.”

– “He hadn’t a single redeeming vice.”

– “He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.”

– “He lives the poetry that he cannot write. The others write the poetry that they dare not realize.”

– “He must have a truly romantic nature, for he weeps when there is nothing at all to weep about.”

– “He was always late on principle; his principle being that punctuality is the thief of time.”

– “Her capacity for family affection is extraordinary: when her third husband died, her hair turned quite gold from grief.”

– “How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.”

– “How marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive.”

– “How strange a thing this is! The Priest telleth me that the Soul is worth all the gold in the world, and the merchants say that it is not worth a clipped piece of silver.”

– “I always like to know everything about my new friends, and nothing about my old ones.”

– “I am not young enough to know everything.”

– “I can believe anything as long as it is incredible.”

– “I have nothing to declare except my genius.”

– “I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.”

– “I hope you have not been leading a double life, pretending to be wicked and being really good all the time. That would be hypocrisy.”

– “I must decline your invitation owing to a subsequent engagement.”

– “I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train.”

– “I put all my genius into my life; I put only my talent into my works.”

– “I think that God in creating Man somewhat overestimated his ability.”

– “I was working on the proof of one of my poems all the morning, and took out a comma. In the afternoon I put it back again.”

– “I do not approve of anything that tampers with natural ignorance.”

– “I like men who have a future and women who have a past.”

– “I never play cricket. It requires one to assume such indecent postures.”

– “I regard the theatre as the greatest of all art forms, the most immediate way in which a human being can share with another the sense of what it is to be a human being.”

– “I see when men love women. They give them but a little of their lives. But women when they love give everything.”

– “I suppose society is wonderfully delightful. To be in it is merely a bore. But to be out of it is simply a tragedy.”

– “I think that God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.”

– “I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying – dead.”

– “If one cannot enjoy reading a book over and over again, there is no use in reading it at all.”

– “If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized.”

– “If one plays good music, people don’t listen and if one plays bad music people don’t talk.”

– “If there was less sympathy in the world, there would be less trouble in the world.”

– “If you are not too long, I will wait here for you all my life.”

– “If you meet at dinner a man who has spent his life in educating himself you rise from the table richer, and conscious that a high ideal has for a moment touched and sanctified your days.”

– “If you pretend to be good, the world takes you very seriously. If you pretend to be bad, it doesn’t. Such is the astounding stupidity of optimism.”

– “Illusion is the first of all pleasures.”

– “In all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane.”

– “In America the President reigns for four years and journalism governs forever and ever.”

Belive in Yourself Quotes

There is nothing more beautiful than believing in yourself. – Sam Kao

Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent. – Eleanor Roosevelt

It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else’s eyes. – Sally Field

Our remedies oft in ourselves do lie, Which we ascribe to heaven. – William Shakespeare

Dreams do come true if you keep believing in yourself. Anything is possible. – Jennifer Capriati

Celebrate all the things you don’t like about yourself – love yourself. – Lady Gaga

To be a champ, you have to believe in yourself when nobody else will. – Sugar Ray Robinson

Just go out there and do what you’ve got to do. – Martina Navratilova

If you don’t ask because you might be refused, you’ve already refused yourself. – Nisandeh Neta

You must expect great things of yourself before you can do them. – Michael Jordan

Sing like no one’s listening, love like you’ve never been hurt, dance like nobody’s watching. and live like it’s heaven on earth. – Mark Twain

Use your imagination not to scare yourself to death but to inspire yourself to life. – Adele Brookman

It’s time to start living the life you’ve imagined. – Henry James

Fear kills everything. Your mind, your heart, your imagination. – Cornelia Funke

You’re only a victim when you allow yourself to be one. – Primadonna Angela

The mind should dance with the body, and the whole universe is your stage. Try to feel that whatever you are doing is the most beautiful thing, the prettiest dance, because you are dancing with the whole Universe. – Yogi Bhajan

Pay no attention to what the critics say. A statue has never been erected in honor of a critic. – Jean Sibelius

Whether you think you can or think you can’t – you are right. – Henry Ford

If you hear a voice within you say “you cannot paint,” then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced. – Vincent Van Gogh

Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Spirit can walk, spirit can swim, spirit can climb, spirit can crawl. There is no terrain you cannot overcome.  – Irisa Hail

I quit being afraid when my first venture failed and the sky didn’t fall down. – Allen H. Neuharth

Knock the “t” off the “can’t.” – George Reeves

Don’t let anyone steal your dream. It’s your dream, not theirs. – Dan Zadra

Men harm others by their deeds, themselves by their thoughts. – Augustus William Hare and Julius Charles Hare

Anyone who ever gave you confidence, you owe them a lot. – Truman Capote

Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt. – William Shakespeare

What a man thinks of himself, that it is which determines, or rather indicates his fate. – Henry David Thoreau

A person can grow only as much as his horizon allows. – John Powell

Only as high as I reach can I grow,
Only as far as I seek can I go,
Only as deep as I look can I see,
Only as much as I dream can I be. – Karen Ravn

Never dull your shine for somebody else. – Tyra Banks

Oliver Wendell Holmes once attended a meeting in which he was the shortest man present. “Dr. Holmes,” quipped a friend, “I should think you’d feel rather small among us big fellows.” “I do,” retorted Holmes, “I feel like a dime among a lot of pennies.” – Author Unknown

If we all did the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves. – Thomas Alva Edison

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

It’s me who is my enemy
Me who beats me up
Me who makes the monsters
Me who strips my confidence. – Paula Cole

I am not a has-been. I am a will be. – Lauren Bacall

Always act like you’re wearing an invisible crown. – Author Unknown

It is not the mountain we conquer but ourselves. – Edmund Hillary

I am convinced all of humanity is born with more gifts than we know. Most are born geniuses and just get de-geniused rapidly. – Buckminster Fuller

God wisely designed the human body so that we can neither pat our own backs nor kick ourselves too easily. – Author Unknown

Jim Morrison Quotes

If my poetry aims to achieve anything, it’s to deliver people from the limited ways in which they see and feel.

Some of the worst mistakes of my life have been haircuts.

What the people want, is they want a artist or a band to come along that’s just totally casting aside all the past and all the business associations. To give the impression ‘were doing this for a reason’ not because we are out here to make a lot of bread

I think the highest and lowest points are the important ones. Anything else is just…in between. I want the freedom to try everything

I think of myself as an intelligent, sensitive human being, with the soul of a clown which always forces me to blow it at the most important moments.

Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.

That’s what real love amounts to,letting a person be what he really is. Most people love you for who you pretend to be. To keep their love, you keep pretending- performing. You get to love your pretence. It’s true, we’re locked in an image, an act

If I had it, to do it all over again, I think I would have gone more for the quiet, undemonstrative, little artist plotting away in his own gardening

The most important kind of freedom is to be what you really are. You trade in your reality for a role. You give up your ability to feel, and in exchange, put on a mask.

Each generation wants new symbols, new people, new names. They want to divorce themselves from their predecessors

I drink so I can talk to assholes

Where’s your will to be weird?

Really it was a lifestyle that was on trial more than any specific incident.

I believe in a long, prolonged, derangement of the senses in order to obtain the unknown.

People are terrified to be set free – they hold on to their chains. They fight anyone who tries to break those chains. It’s their security…How can they expect me or anyone else to set them free if they don’t really want to be free?

There was a great renaissance of spirit and emotion and revolutionary sentiment. When things didn’t change overnight, I think people resented the fact that that we were still around doing good music.

The most loving parents and relatives commit murder with smiles on their faces. They force us to destroy the person we really are: a subtle kind of murder.

I see myself as a huge fiery comet, a shooting star. Everyone stops, points up and gasps “Oh look at that!” Then- whoosh, and I’m gone…and they’ll never see anything like it ever again… and they won’t be able to forget me- ever.

A hero is someone who rebels or seems to rebel against the facts of existence and seems to conquer them.
Obviously that can only work at moments. It can’t be a lasting thing.
That’s not saying that people shouldn’t keep trying to rebel against the facts of existence. Who knows, someday we might conquer death

Whoever controls the media, controls the mind.

I like any reaction I can get with my music. Just anything to get people to think. I mean if you can get a whole room full of drunk, stoned people to actually wake up and think, you’re doing something.

As I understand it, paranoia’s defined as an irrational fear. But what if the paranoia is real?

I think in art, but especially in films, people are trying to confirm their own existences