Tag: W. Somerset Maugham

Moving On Quotes

Posted on September 11, 2011 by

Letting go doesn’t mean giving up… it means moving on. – Anonymous

My Mama always said you’ve got to put the past behind you before you can move on. – the movie Forrest Gump

It is only through labor and painful effort, by grim energy and resolute courage, that we move on to better things. – Theodore Roosevelt

Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving. – Albert Einstein

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. – Albert Einstein

Forgive yourself for your faults and your mistakes and move on. – Les Brown

Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event, deal with it and then move on. – Bob Newhart

We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we’re curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths. – Walt Disney

Whatever you can do, or dream you can, Begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it, Begin it now. – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Achievement seems to be connected with action. Successful men and women keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don’t quit. – Conrad Hilton

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. – Anonymous

You are responsible for your life. You can’t keep blaming somebody else for your dysfunction. Life is really about moving on. – Oprah Winfrey

When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us. – Helen Keller

Before moving on, you have to clear away your cherished beliefs. – Dick Raymond

Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass. It’s about learning how to dance in the rain. – Vivian Greene

Part of being a winner is knowing when enough is enough. Sometimes you have to give up the fight and walk away, and move on to something that’s more productive. – Donald Trump

Conformity is the jailer of freedom and the enemy of growth. – John F. Kennedy

You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life. – Winston Churchill

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and wisdom to know the difference. – Reinhold Niebuhr

Letting go doesn’t mean giving up… it means moving on. – Anonymous

When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. – Lao Tzu

People can be more forgiving than you can imagine. But you have to forgive yourself. Let go of what’s bitter and move on. – Bill Cosby

Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go. – Hermann Hesse

It is our choices … that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities. – J. K. Rowling (Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets)

With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts. – Eleanor Roosevelt

You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream. – C. S. Lewis

Every wall is a door. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Love does not claim possession, but gives freedom. – Rabindranath Tagore

Love one another but make not a bond of love. Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. – Khalil Gibran

Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery. – Erma Bombeck

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop. – H. L. Mencken

Forget love… I’d rather fall in chocolate. – Anonymous

Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species. – W. Somerset Maugham

Famous Humor Quotes

Posted on February 26, 2011 by

“Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.” – Oscar Wilde

“There’s so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets?” – Dick Cavett

“Never be afraid to laugh at yourself. After all, you could be missing out on the joke of the century.” – Dame Edna Everage

“That is the saving grace of humor. If you fail no one is laughing at you.” – A. Whitney Brown

“Humor is perhaps a sense of intellectual perspective: an awareness that some things are really important, others not; and that the two kinds are most oddly jumbled in everyday affairs.” – Christopher Morely

“Life is tough, and if you have the ability to laugh at it you have the ability to enjoy it.” – Salma Hayek

“The best jokes are dangerous, and dangerous because they are in some way truthful.” – Kurt Vonnegut

“Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.” – E.B. White

“You are not angry with people when you laugh at them. Humor teaches tolerance.” – W. Somerset Maugham

“I think the next best thing to solving a problem is finding some humor in it.” – Frank Howard Clark

Funny Humorous and Love Quotes

Posted on January 4, 2011January 4, 2011 by

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell. – Joan Crawford

It’s been so long since I made love, I can’t even remember who gets tied up. – Joan Rivers

Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your own name. – Joan Rivers

You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover’s arms can only come later when you’re sure they won’t laugh if you trip. – Jonathan Carroll

No matter how love-sick a woman is, she shouldn’t take the first pill that comes along. – Joyce Brothers

If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married. – Katharine Hepburn

True love is like seeing ghosts; we all talk about it, but few of us have ever seen one. – La Rochefoucauld

If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question. – Lily Tomlin

The only people who make love all the time are liars. – Louis Jordan

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he’s a baby. – Natalie Wood

Nothing spoils romance so much as a sense of humour in the woman. – Oscar Wilde

Love is a grave mental disease. – Plato

Whenever I date a guy, I think, is this the man that I want my children to spend their weekends with? – Rita Rudner

Forget love, I’d rather fall in chocolate. – Sandra J. Dykes

All marriages are happy. It’s trying to live together afterwards that causes all the problems. – Shelley Winters

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy. – Steve Martin

A love without indiscretion is no lover at all. – Thomas Hardy

Marriage is a great institution for those who like institutions. – Tommy Dewar

Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species. – W. Somerset Maugham

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known. – Walt Disney

Love is the answer, but while you’re waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions. – Woody Allen

The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty. – Woody Allen

Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it’s one of the best. – Woody Allen

Funny Love Quotes

Posted on December 28, 2010January 4, 2011 by

Shopping is better than sex. At least if you’re not satisfied, you can exchange it for something you really like. – Adrienne Gusoff

An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her. – Agatha Christie

Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
So each is inevitably disappointed. – Albert Einstein

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That’s relativity. – Albert Einstein

Men make the highs higher and the lows more frequent. – Anonymous

You know it’s love when you want to keep holding hands even after you’re sweaty. – Anonymous

The four most important words in any marriage…”I’ll do the dishes.” – Anonymous

No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying. – Anonymous

Marriage is like jogging through a puddle of industrial strength rubber glue. You can work hard and make it through the struggles; however, you usually leave your bobby socks and sneakers behind along the way. – Anonymous

When a relationship goes flat, so does a couple of sets of car tires. – Anonymous

Men only have two faults….What they do, and what they say! – Anonymous

You can’t buy love on eBay. – Anonymous

If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it? – Bette Midler

A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him. – Brendan Francis

Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch. – Cathy Carlyle

Marriage is a romance in which the heroine dies in the first chapter. – Cecilia Egan

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing — and then marry him. – Cher

Men aren’t necessities, they’re luxuries. – Cher

By the time you swear you’re his,
Shivering and sighing,
And he vows his passion is infinite, undying –
Lady, make note of this: One of you is lying. – Dorothy Parker

I’m always looking for meaningful one night stands. – Dudley Moore

Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery. – Erma Bombeck

Romantic love is mental illness. But it’s a pleasurable one. It’s a drug. It distorts reality, and that’s the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw. – Fran Lebowitz

It is impossible to love and be wise. – Francis Bacon

Marriage marks the end of many short follies – being one long stupidity. – Friedrich Nietzsche

Love is a mutual self-giving which ends in self-recovery. – Fulton J. Sheen

Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it. – George Carlin

Remember, beneath every cynic there lies a romantic, and probably an injured one. – Glenn Beck

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. – Groucho Marx

To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all. – Helen Rowland

Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There’s too much fraternizing with the enemy. – Henry Kissinger

When we got married I told my wife “If you leave me, I’m going with you.” And she never did. – James Fineous McBride

Marrying a man is like buying something you’ve been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn’t always go with everything else in the house. – Jean Kerr

I Love You Quotes

Posted on December 28, 2010 by

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love. ~Albert Einstein

You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover’s arms can only come later when you’re sure they won’t laugh if you trip. ~Jonathan Carroll, “Outside the Dog Museum”

A hundred hearts would be too few
To carry all my love for you. ~Author Unknown

The most important things are the hardest to say, because words diminish them. ~Stephen King

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? ~Author Unknown

Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species. ~W. Somerset Maugham, A Writer’s Notebook, 1949

Love does not consist of gazing at each other, but in looking together in the same direction. ~Antoine de Saint-Exupery

It is astonishing how little one feels alone when one loves. ~John Bulwer

The most beautiful view is the one I share with you. ~Author Unknown

A bell is no bell ’til you ring it,
A song is no song ’til you sing it,
And love in your heart
Wasn’t put there to stay –
Love isn’t love
‘Til you give it away. ~Oscar Hammerstein, Sound of Music, “You Are Sixteen (Reprise)”

Grow old with me! The best is yet to be. ~Robert Browning

For you see, each day I love you more
Today more than yesterday and less than tomorrow. ~Rosemonde Gerard

Love is a symbol of eternity. It wipes out all sense of time, destroying all memory of a beginning and all fear of an end. ~Author Unknown

Love – a wildly misunderstood although highly desirable malfunction of the heart which weakens the brain, causes eyes to sparkle, cheeks to glow, blood pressure to rise and the lips to pucker. ~Author Unknown

You learn to like someone when you find out what makes them laugh, but you can never truly love someone until you find out what makes them cry. ~Author Unknown

Albert Einstein