Friendship Quotes – a large collection of famous and inspirational quotes

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Funny Love Quotes

Let’s make our day better with some wonderful funny love quotes.

“A light heart lives long.” – William Shakespeare

“Never go to bed mad — stay up and fight.” – Phyllis Diller

“To be in love is merely to be in a state of perceptual anesthesia.” – H.L. Mencken

“Once you have loved someone, you’d do anything in the world for them… except love them again.” – Anonymous

“Love is like war: Easy to begin but hard to end.” – Anonymous

“Love has the power of making you believe what you would normally treat with the deepest suspicion.” – Mirabeau

“Three things can’t be hidden: coughing, poverty, and love.” – Yiddish proverb

“The most wasted day is that in which we have not laughed.” – Chamfort

“I detest ‘love lyrics.’ I think one of the causes of bad mental health in the United States is that people have been raised on ‘love lyrics.” – Frank Zappa

“You’d be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap.” – Dolly Parton

“I should like to see any kind of a man, distinguishable from a gorilla, that some good and even pretty woman could not shape a husband out of.” – Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

“A woman might as well propose: her husband will claim she did.” – Edgar Watson Howe

“I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor’s eighth husband on her wedding night: I know what I’m supposed to do…I just have to figure out a way to make it interesting.” – many attributions

“No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying.” – unknown

“An old man who marries a young wife grows younger – but she grows older.” – folk saying

“It is not uncommon for slight acquaintances to get married, but a couple really have to know each other to get divorced.” – Anonymous

“What female heart can despise gold?” – Thomas Gray

“A lady of 47 who has been married 27 years and has six children knows what love really is and once described it for me like this: ‘Love is what you’ve been through with somebody.'” – James Thurber

“I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” – Rita Rudner

“We cannot really love anybody without whom we never laugh.” – Alice Reppler

Belive in Yourself Quotes

There is nothing more beautiful than believing in yourself. – Sam Kao

Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent. – Eleanor Roosevelt

It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else’s eyes. – Sally Field

Our remedies oft in ourselves do lie, Which we ascribe to heaven. – William Shakespeare

Dreams do come true if you keep believing in yourself. Anything is possible. – Jennifer Capriati

Celebrate all the things you don’t like about yourself – love yourself. – Lady Gaga

To be a champ, you have to believe in yourself when nobody else will. – Sugar Ray Robinson

Just go out there and do what you’ve got to do. – Martina Navratilova

If you don’t ask because you might be refused, you’ve already refused yourself. – Nisandeh Neta

You must expect great things of yourself before you can do them. – Michael Jordan

Sing like no one’s listening, love like you’ve never been hurt, dance like nobody’s watching. and live like it’s heaven on earth. – Mark Twain

Use your imagination not to scare yourself to death but to inspire yourself to life. – Adele Brookman

It’s time to start living the life you’ve imagined. – Henry James

Fear kills everything. Your mind, your heart, your imagination. – Cornelia Funke

You’re only a victim when you allow yourself to be one. – Primadonna Angela

The mind should dance with the body, and the whole universe is your stage. Try to feel that whatever you are doing is the most beautiful thing, the prettiest dance, because you are dancing with the whole Universe. – Yogi Bhajan

Pay no attention to what the critics say. A statue has never been erected in honor of a critic. – Jean Sibelius

Whether you think you can or think you can’t – you are right. – Henry Ford

If you hear a voice within you say “you cannot paint,” then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced. – Vincent Van Gogh

Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Spirit can walk, spirit can swim, spirit can climb, spirit can crawl. There is no terrain you cannot overcome.  – Irisa Hail

I quit being afraid when my first venture failed and the sky didn’t fall down. – Allen H. Neuharth

Knock the “t” off the “can’t.” – George Reeves

Don’t let anyone steal your dream. It’s your dream, not theirs. – Dan Zadra

Men harm others by their deeds, themselves by their thoughts. – Augustus William Hare and Julius Charles Hare

Anyone who ever gave you confidence, you owe them a lot. – Truman Capote

Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt. – William Shakespeare

What a man thinks of himself, that it is which determines, or rather indicates his fate. – Henry David Thoreau

A person can grow only as much as his horizon allows. – John Powell

Only as high as I reach can I grow,
Only as far as I seek can I go,
Only as deep as I look can I see,
Only as much as I dream can I be. – Karen Ravn

Never dull your shine for somebody else. – Tyra Banks

Oliver Wendell Holmes once attended a meeting in which he was the shortest man present. “Dr. Holmes,” quipped a friend, “I should think you’d feel rather small among us big fellows.” “I do,” retorted Holmes, “I feel like a dime among a lot of pennies.” – Author Unknown

If we all did the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves. – Thomas Alva Edison

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

It’s me who is my enemy
Me who beats me up
Me who makes the monsters
Me who strips my confidence. – Paula Cole

I am not a has-been. I am a will be. – Lauren Bacall

Always act like you’re wearing an invisible crown. – Author Unknown

It is not the mountain we conquer but ourselves. – Edmund Hillary

I am convinced all of humanity is born with more gifts than we know. Most are born geniuses and just get de-geniused rapidly. – Buckminster Fuller

God wisely designed the human body so that we can neither pat our own backs nor kick ourselves too easily. – Author Unknown

Funny Love Quotes

Shopping is better than sex. At least if you’re not satisfied, you can exchange it for something you really like. – Adrienne Gusoff

An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her. – Agatha Christie

Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
So each is inevitably disappointed. – Albert Einstein

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That’s relativity. – Albert Einstein

Men make the highs higher and the lows more frequent. – Anonymous

You know it’s love when you want to keep holding hands even after you’re sweaty. – Anonymous

The four most important words in any marriage…”I’ll do the dishes.” – Anonymous

No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying. – Anonymous

Marriage is like jogging through a puddle of industrial strength rubber glue. You can work hard and make it through the struggles; however, you usually leave your bobby socks and sneakers behind along the way. – Anonymous

When a relationship goes flat, so does a couple of sets of car tires. – Anonymous

Men only have two faults….What they do, and what they say! – Anonymous

You can’t buy love on eBay. – Anonymous

If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it? – Bette Midler

A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him. – Brendan Francis

Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch. – Cathy Carlyle

Marriage is a romance in which the heroine dies in the first chapter. – Cecilia Egan

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing — and then marry him. – Cher

Men aren’t necessities, they’re luxuries. – Cher

By the time you swear you’re his,
Shivering and sighing,
And he vows his passion is infinite, undying –
Lady, make note of this: One of you is lying. – Dorothy Parker

I’m always looking for meaningful one night stands. – Dudley Moore

Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery. – Erma Bombeck

Romantic love is mental illness. But it’s a pleasurable one. It’s a drug. It distorts reality, and that’s the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw. – Fran Lebowitz

It is impossible to love and be wise. – Francis Bacon

Marriage marks the end of many short follies – being one long stupidity. – Friedrich Nietzsche

Love is a mutual self-giving which ends in self-recovery. – Fulton J. Sheen

Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it. – George Carlin

Remember, beneath every cynic there lies a romantic, and probably an injured one. – Glenn Beck

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. – Groucho Marx

To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all. – Helen Rowland

Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There’s too much fraternizing with the enemy. – Henry Kissinger

When we got married I told my wife “If you leave me, I’m going with you.” And she never did. – James Fineous McBride

Marrying a man is like buying something you’ve been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn’t always go with everything else in the house. – Jean Kerr