Friendship Quotes – a large collection of famous and inspirational quotes

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Tag: Dorothy Parker

Beauty Quotes

“Beauty, more than bitterness, makes the heart break.” – Sara Teasdale

“When you reach the heart of life you shall find beauty in all things, even in the eyes that are blind to beauty.” – Kahlil Gibran

“Beauty is how you feel inside, and it reflects in your eyes. It is not something physical.” – Sophia Loren

“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.” – Miss Piggy

Beauty Quotes“Character contributes to beauty. It fortifies a woman as her youth fades. A mode of conduct, a standard of courage, discipline, fortitude, and integrity can do a great deal to make a woman beautiful.” – Adlai E. Stevenson

“When you look closely people are so strange & so complicated that they’re actually beautiful.” – Kahlil Gibran

“Practice random beauty and senseless acts of love.” – Don Williams, Jr

“I pull you from your tower, take away your pain. Show you all the beauty you possess, if you only let yourself believe.” – Sarah McLachlan

“Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder” – Kinky Friedman

“She’s beautiful, and therefore to be woo’d She is a woman, therefore to be won” – William Shakespeare

“Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone” – Dorothy Parker

“By plucking her petals, you do not gather the beauty of the flower.” – Rabindranath Tagore

“Beauty is simply reality seen with the eyes of love” – Rabindranath Tagore

Funny Sarcastic Quotes

“Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you a member of Congress, but I repeat myself.” – Mark Twain

“Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone.” – A. B. Evans

“You don’t say civilization don’t advance – for every war they kill you a new way.” – Will Rogers

“The tongue is the only instrument that gets sharper with use.” – Colin Jarman

“Critics are the stupid who discuss the wise.” – Anonymous

“A critic is a man who writes about things he doesn’t like” – Anonymous

“I love criticism just as long as it’s unqualified praise.” – Noel Coward

“A critic is a man created to praise greater men than himself, but he is never able to find them.” – Richard Le Gallienne

“The difference between journalism and literature is that journalism is unreadable and literature is not read.” – Oscar Wilde

“When an opera singer sings her head off, she usually improves her appearance.” – Victor Borge

“The fastest way to a man’s heart is through his chest.” – Roseanne Arnold

“The power with her is that she lacks the power of conversation, but not the power of speech.” – George Bernard Shaw

“I know she is outspoken, but by who?” – Dorothy Parker

“You don’t know a woman, until you’ve met her in court.” – Norman Mailer

“Women are like elephants to me; they’re nice to look at, but I wouldn’t want to own one.” – W.C. Fields

“Women have a passion for mathematics. They divide their age in half, double the price of their clothes, and always add at least five years to the age of their best friends.” – Marcel Achard

“A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.” – Anonymous

“Whatever women do, they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.”- Charlotte Whitton

“A man’s love is incomplete until he has married. Then he’s finished.” – Zsa Zsa Gabor

“Adam came first, but men always do.” – Anonymous

“If they can put one man on the moon, why can’t they put them all there?” – Anonymous

“Women have their faults. Men have only two: Everything they say. Everything they do.” – Anonymous

“Japanese are extremely good imitators and they so polite, they even copy the mistakes.” – Earl Scrugge

“If you’re gong to Paris you would do well to remember this: no matter how politely or distinctly you ask a Parisian a question he will persist in answering you in French.” – Fran Lebowits

Funny Humorous and Love Quotes

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell. – Joan Crawford

It’s been so long since I made love, I can’t even remember who gets tied up. – Joan Rivers

Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your own name. – Joan Rivers

You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover’s arms can only come later when you’re sure they won’t laugh if you trip. – Jonathan Carroll

No matter how love-sick a woman is, she shouldn’t take the first pill that comes along. – Joyce Brothers

If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married. – Katharine Hepburn

True love is like seeing ghosts; we all talk about it, but few of us have ever seen one. – La Rochefoucauld

If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question. – Lily Tomlin

The only people who make love all the time are liars. – Louis Jordan

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he’s a baby. – Natalie Wood

Nothing spoils romance so much as a sense of humour in the woman. – Oscar Wilde

Love is a grave mental disease. – Plato

Whenever I date a guy, I think, is this the man that I want my children to spend their weekends with? – Rita Rudner

Forget love, I’d rather fall in chocolate. – Sandra J. Dykes

All marriages are happy. It’s trying to live together afterwards that causes all the problems. – Shelley Winters

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy. – Steve Martin

A love without indiscretion is no lover at all. – Thomas Hardy

Marriage is a great institution for those who like institutions. – Tommy Dewar

Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species. – W. Somerset Maugham

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known. – Walt Disney

Love is the answer, but while you’re waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions. – Woody Allen

The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty. – Woody Allen

Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it’s one of the best. – Woody Allen

Funny Love Quotes

Shopping is better than sex. At least if you’re not satisfied, you can exchange it for something you really like. – Adrienne Gusoff

An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her. – Agatha Christie

Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
So each is inevitably disappointed. – Albert Einstein

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That’s relativity. – Albert Einstein

Men make the highs higher and the lows more frequent. – Anonymous

You know it’s love when you want to keep holding hands even after you’re sweaty. – Anonymous

The four most important words in any marriage…”I’ll do the dishes.” – Anonymous

No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying. – Anonymous

Marriage is like jogging through a puddle of industrial strength rubber glue. You can work hard and make it through the struggles; however, you usually leave your bobby socks and sneakers behind along the way. – Anonymous

When a relationship goes flat, so does a couple of sets of car tires. – Anonymous

Men only have two faults….What they do, and what they say! – Anonymous

You can’t buy love on eBay. – Anonymous

If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it? – Bette Midler

A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him. – Brendan Francis

Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch. – Cathy Carlyle

Marriage is a romance in which the heroine dies in the first chapter. – Cecilia Egan

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing — and then marry him. – Cher

Men aren’t necessities, they’re luxuries. – Cher

By the time you swear you’re his,
Shivering and sighing,
And he vows his passion is infinite, undying –
Lady, make note of this: One of you is lying. – Dorothy Parker

I’m always looking for meaningful one night stands. – Dudley Moore

Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery. – Erma Bombeck

Romantic love is mental illness. But it’s a pleasurable one. It’s a drug. It distorts reality, and that’s the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw. – Fran Lebowitz

It is impossible to love and be wise. – Francis Bacon

Marriage marks the end of many short follies – being one long stupidity. – Friedrich Nietzsche

Love is a mutual self-giving which ends in self-recovery. – Fulton J. Sheen

Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it. – George Carlin

Remember, beneath every cynic there lies a romantic, and probably an injured one. – Glenn Beck

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. – Groucho Marx

To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all. – Helen Rowland

Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There’s too much fraternizing with the enemy. – Henry Kissinger

When we got married I told my wife “If you leave me, I’m going with you.” And she never did. – James Fineous McBride

Marrying a man is like buying something you’ve been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn’t always go with everything else in the house. – Jean Kerr

Famous Beauty Quotes

“Beauty, without expression, tires.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

“It is amazing how complete is the delusion that beauty is goodness.” – Leo Tolstoy

“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” – Margaret Hungerford

“I’m tired of all the nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep. That’s deep enough. What do you want – an adorable pancreas?” – Jean Kerr

“Everything has its beauty, but not everyone sees it.” – Confucius

“Some people, no matter how old they get, never lose their beauty – they merely move it from their faces into their hearts.” – Martin Buxbaum

“It is not beauty that endears; it’s love that makes us see beauty.” – Leo Tolstoy

“Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.” – Dorothy Parker

“You are not special. You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You are the same decaying organic matter as everything else.” – Chuck Palahniuk

“Beauty is whatever gives joy.” – Edna St. Vincent Millay