Categories
Celebrity quotes

Mark Twain Quotes

Today we celebrate Mark Twain’s birthday in our own, favorite way: sharing quotes. Let me show you some wonderful inspirational Mark Twain Quotes.

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

No sinner is ever saved after the first twenty minutes of a sermon.

Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid.

Nothing so needs reforming as other people’s habits.

Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.

Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial “we.”

Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.

Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.

Mark Twain QuotesPatriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.

Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it.

Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.

Prophesy is a good line of business, but it is full of risks.

Prosperity is the best protector of principle.

Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.

Repartee is something we think of twenty-four hours too late.

Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run.

Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough.

Substitute “damn” every time you’re inclined to write “very”; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.

Such is the human race, often it seems a pity that Noah… didn’t miss the boat.

Categories
Funny Quotes

Funny Short Quotes

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. – Unknown

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep — not screaming, like the passengers in his car. – Will Rogers

A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he’s finished. – Zsa Zsa Gabor

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people. – Unknown

I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you’re twenty minutes. – Oscar Wilde

A good sermon should be like a woman’s skirt: short enough to rouse the interest, but long enough to cover the essentials. – Unknown

funny short quotesA verbal contract isn’t worth the paper it is written on. – Samual Goldwyn

The road to success is always under construction. – Lily Tomlin

A man’s only as old as the woman he feels. – Groucho Marx

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button. – Sam Levenson

Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made. – George Burns

Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery. – Unknown

Love is like a booger. You keep picking at it until you get it, then wonder what to do with it. – Unknown

I’m very pleased to be here. Let’s face it, at my age I’m very pleased to be anywhere. – George Burns

Categories
Cute Quotes

Cute Quotes for Girls about Boys

If I have a monument in this world, it is my son. – Maya Angelou

The sweetest roamer is a boy’s young heart. – George Edward Woodberry

Boys do not grow up gradually. They move forward in spurts like the hands of clocks in railway stations. – Cyril Connolly

Of all the animals, the boy is most unmanageable. – Plato

A mother takes twenty years to make a man of her boy, and another woman makes a fool of him in twenty minutes. – Robert Frost

When I grow up I want to be a little boy. – Joseph Heller

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick. – George Burns

Categories
Celebrity quotes

Mark Twain Quotes #2

Total abstinence is so excellent a thing that it cannot be carried to too great an extent. In my passion for it I even carry it so far as to totally abstain from total abstinence itself.

I have been complimented many times and they always embarrass me; I always feel that they have not said enough.

I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.

None but an ass pays a compliment and asks a favor at the same time. There are many asses.

Martyrdom covers a multitude of sins.

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I’ve done it thousands of times.

Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt.

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

My books are like water; those of the great geniuses are wine. (Fortunately) everybody drinks water.

Don’t tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don’t tell them where they know the fish.

Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.

Facts are stubborn things, but statistics are more pliable.

Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.

But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?

All generalizations are false, including this one.

Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed.

It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it.

Necessity is the mother of taking chances.

Chastity — you can carry it too far.

Barring that natural expression of villainy which we all have, the man looked honest enough.

By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity — another man’s I mean.

Laws control the lesser man… Right conduct controls the greater one.

No sinner is ever saved after the first twenty minutes of a sermon.

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear – not absence of fear.

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid.

The world owes you nothing. It was here first.

There is nothing that saps one’s confidence as the knowing how to do a thing.

We have the best government that money can buy.

I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying that I approved of it.

Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn’t.

Nothing so needs reforming as other people’s habits.

If you tell the truth you don’t have to remember anything.

I don’t give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way.

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.

In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours.

Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain.

Categories
Celebrity quotes

Robert Frost Quotes

A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain.

A civilized society is one which tolerates eccentricity to the point of doubtful sanity.

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.

A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.

A liberal is a man too broadminded to take his own side in a quarrel.

A mother takes twenty years to make a man of her boy, and another woman makes a fool of him in twenty minutes.

A person will sometimes devote all his life to the development of one part of his body – the wishbone.

A poem begins as a lump in the throat, a sense of wrong, a homesickness, a lovesickness.

A poem begins in delight and ends in wisdom.

A poet never takes notes. You never take notes in a love affair.

A successful lawsuit is the one worn by a policeman.

Always fall in with what you’re asked to accept. Take what is given, and make it over your way. My aim in life has always been to hold my own with whatever’s going. Not against: with.

And were an epitaph to be my story I’d have a short one ready for my own. I would have written of me on my stone: I had a lover’s quarrel with the world.

Being the boss anywhere is lonely. Being a female boss in a world of mostly men is especially so.

But I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep, and miles to go before I sleep.

By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.

College is a refuge from hasty judgment.

Don’t ever take a fence down until you know why it was put up.

Education doesn’t change life much. It just lifts trouble to a higher plane of regard.

Education is hanging around until you’ve caught on.