Consider the daffodil. And while you’re doing that, I’ll be over here, looking through your stuff.
I bet the sparrow looks at the parrot and thinks, yes, you can talk, but LISTEN TO YOURSELF!
I bet a funny thing about driving a car off a cliff is, while you’re in midair, you still hit those brakes! Hey, better try the emergency brake!
Many people never stop to realize that a tree is a living thing, not that different from a tall, leafy dog that has roots and is very quiet.
When I found the skull in the woods, the first thing I did was call the police. But then I got curious about it. I picked it up, and started wondering who this person was, and why he had deer horns.
I bet it’s hard to break farmers of the old superstitions like “Tornado got Old Yeller, stay in the cellar.”
Blow ye winds, Like the trumpet blows; But without that noise.
Of all the tall tales, I think my favorite is the one about Eli Whitney and the interchangeable parts.
Laugh, clown, laugh. This is what I tell myself whenever I dress up like Bozo.
Any man, in the right situation, is capable of murder. But not any man is capable of being a good camper. So, murder and camping are not as similar as you might think.
As the snow started to fall, he tugged his coat tighter around himself. Too tight, as it turned out. “This is the fourth coat crushing this year”, said the sergeant as he outlined the body with a special pencil that writes on snow.
One thing vampire children have to be taught early on is, don’t run with a wooden stake.
Too bad Lassie didn’t know how to ice skate, because then if she was in Holland on vacation in winter and someone said “Lassie, go skate for help,” she could do it.
As the light changed from red to green to yellow and back to red again, I sat there thinking about life. Was it nothing more than a bunch of honking and yelling? Sometimes it seemed that way.
What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that makes you want to get drunk?
And after you’re real drunk, maybe go down to the public park and stagger around and ask people for money, and then lay down and go to sleep.
Why do people in ship mutinies always ask for “better treatment”? I’d ask for a pinball machine, because with all that rocking back and forth you’d probably be able to get a lot of free games.
I’d like to be buried Indian-style, where they put you up on a high rack, above the ground. That way, you could get hit by meteorites and not even feel it.
If I lived back in the wild west days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I’d carry a soldering iron. That way, if some smart-aleck cowboy said something like “Hey, look. He’s carrying a soldering iron!” and started laughing, and everybody else started laughing, I could just say, “That’s right, it’s a soldering iron. The soldering iron of justice.” Then everybody would get real quiet and ashamed, because they had made fun of the soldering iron of justice, and I could probably hit them up for a free drink.
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
What hair colour do they put on the driver’s licenses of bald men?
Why do banks charge you an “insufficient funds fee” on money they already know you don’t have?
Why is it, when a door is open it’s ajar, but when a jar is open, it’s not adoor?
Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he’ll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.
Why is lemon juice mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?
Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Why do they lock petrol station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains?
“I’m the one that has to die when it’s time for me to die, so let me live my life, the way I want to.” ~ Jimi Hendrix
“Show respect to all people, but grovel to none.” ~ Tecumseh
“You have to do stuff that average people don’t understand because those are the only good things.” ~ Andy Warhol
“When I’m trusting and being myself… everything in my life reflects this by falling into place easily, often miraculously.” ~ Shakti Gawain
“One of the secrets of life is to be honestly who you are. Who others want you to be, who you used to be, and who you may some day become … these are fantasies. To be honestly who you are is to give up your illusions and face today with courage.” ~ Bill Purdin
“Be a first rate version of yourself, not a second rate version of someone else.” ~ Judy Garland
“The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning to work on becoming yourself.” ~ Anna Quindlen
“I was brought up to believe that how I saw myself was more important than how others saw me.” ~ Anwar el-Sadat
“The most important thing is to be whatever you are without shame.” ~ Rod Steiger
“Never think you’re not good enough yourself. A man should never think that. People will take you very much at your own reckoning.” ~ Anthony Trollope
“The most common sort of lie is the one uttered to one’s self.” ~ Nietzsche
“But the lightning which explodes and fashions planets, maker of planets and suns, is in him. On one side elemental order, sandstone and granite, rock-ledges, peat-bog, forest, sea and shore; and on the other part, thought, the spirit which composes and decomposes nature,—here they are, side by side, god and devil, mind and matter, king and conspirator, belt and spasm, riding peacefully together in the eye and brain of every man.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
“It’s not who you are that holds you back, it’s who you think you’re not.” ~ Unknown
“If you really put a small value upon yourself, rest assured that the world will not raise your price.” ~ Unknown
“You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself in any direction you choose.
You’re on your own.
And you know what you know.
You are the guy who’ll decide where to go.” ~ Dr. Seuss
“It is folly for a man to pray to the gods for that which he has the power to obtain by himself.” ~ Epicurus
“When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you.” ~ African Proverb
“The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others.” ~ Sonya Friedman
“You don’t need anybody to tell you who you are or what you are. You are what you are!” ~ John Lennon
“If you have someone hating on you right now, you better think of how to get 5 more people hating by Christmas. You need haters to make you stronger. Without haters, most people wouldn’t try to become better. Just tell them ‘bitch you just hate me because you can’t be me…’” ~ Katt Williams
“Don’t try so hard to fit it when you were born to stand out.” – Unknown
“Pay no mind to those who talk behind your back, it simply means that you are two steps ahead.” ~ Unknown
“People who lack the strength to be themselves are always trying to tear down those who do.” ~ Unknown
“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself” – George Bernard Shaw
“You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take” – Wayne Gretzky
“If you don’t get everything you want, think of the things you don’t get that you don’t want” – Unknown
“Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you area vegetarian” – Dennis Wholey
“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I’ll try again tomorrow” – Mary Anne Radmacher
“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
“The reason people find it so hard to be happy is that they always see the past better than it was, the present worse than it is, and the future less resolved than it will be” – Marcel Pagnol
“Don’t let life discourage you; everyone who got where he is had to begin where he was” – Richard L. Evans
“It’s not who you are that holds you back, it’s who you think you’re not”- Unknown
Let me show you two great motivational videos to start your every day.
Unsuccessful Words Series
Will Smith – The Key to Life
Some wonderful wisdom quotes and sayings for a great day :)
“The art of being wise is knowing what to overlook.” – William James
“What you are is what you have been, and what you will be is what you do now.” – The Buddha
“The seat of knowledge is in the head, of wisdom, in the heart.” – William Hazlitt
“No man is smart, except by comparison to those who know less.” – Edgar Watson Howe
“A wise man learns by the mistakes of others, a fool by his own.” – Latin Proverb
“Statistics are like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive but what they conceal is vital.” – Aaron Levenstein
“Years teach us more than books.” – Berthold Auerbach
“The first step in the acquisition of wisdom is silence, the second listening, the third memory, the fourth practice, the fifth teaching others.” – Solomon Ibn Gabriol
“The man of wisdom is never of two minds; the man of benevolence never worries; the man of courage is never afraid.” – Confucius
“No man was ever wise by chance.” – Seneca
“Of all parts of wisdom the practice is the best.” – John Tillotson
“If you try you may fail, if you don’t try you’re guaranteed to fail.” – Jesse Jackson
“Enjoy when you can, and endure when you must.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
“Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.” –Theodore Roosevelt
“Look at everything as though you were seeing it either for the first or last time.” – Betty Smith
“Never explain. Your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe it anyway.” – Elbert Hubbard
“To know the road ahead, ask those coming back.” – Chinese Proverb
“Be nice to people on your way up because you’ll need them on your way down.” – W. Migner
“There are two kinds of light – the glow that illuminates, and the glare that obscures.” – James Thurber
“Wisdom is found only in truth.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
“Knowing others is wisdom, knowing yourself is enlightenment.” – Lao Tzu
“Don’t compromise yourself. You’re all you’ve got.” –Janis Joplin