Friendship Quotes – a large collection of famous and inspirational quotes

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Tag: Bob Hope

Funny Quotes

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five. – Groucho Marx

A friend doesn’t go on a diet because you are fat. – Erma Bombeck

A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live. – Bob Hope

A lot of baby boomers are baby bongers. – Kevin Nealon

A nickel ain’t worth a dime anymore. – Yogi Berra

A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, “At my age, I don’t even buy green bananas.” – Claude Pepper

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. – Lana Turner

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it. – Jerry Seinfeld

Funny QuotesA word to the wise ain’t necessary – it’s the stupid ones that need the advice. – Bill Cosby

All men are equal before fish. – Herbert Hoover

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height. – Casey Stengel

Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry. – Bill Cosby

Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid. – Hedy Lamarr

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot. – Groucho Marx

As a child my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it. – Buddy Hackett

As I get older, I just prefer to knit. – Tracey Ullman

Be obscure clearly. – E. B. White

Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly. – P. J. O’Rourke

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. – Jim Carrey

Birthday Quotes

Celebrate your birthday with a great portion of enjoyable birthday quotes.

“Nobody grows old merely by living a number of years. We grow old by deserting our ideals. Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul.” –Samuel Ullman

“At age 20, we worry about what others think of us. At 40, we don’t care what they think of us. At 60, we discover they haven’t been thinking of us at all.” –Ann Landers

“Maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you’ve had, and what you’ve learned from them, and less to do with how many birthdays you’ve celebrated.” –Unknown

“And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.” –Abraham Lincoln

“It takes a long time to grow young.” –Pablo Picasso

“We turn not older with years, but newer every day.” – Emily Dickinson

“One of the signs of passing youth is the birth of a sense of fellowship with other human beings as we take our place among them.” –Virginia Woolf

“May you live all the days of your life.” –Jonathan Swift

“Old people are fond of giving good advice; it consoles them for no longer being capable of setting a bad example.” –Francois De La Rochefoucauld

“Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.” –Caryn Leschen

“The follies which a man regrets most in his life are those which he didn’t commit when he had the opportunity.” – Helen Rowland

“You are as young as your faith, as old as your doubt; as young as your self-confidence, as old as your fear; as young as your hope, as old as your despair.” –Douglas MacArthur

“Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children.” –George Bernard Shaw

“Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.” –Bob Hope

“Middle age: The time when you’ll do anything to feel better, except give up what is hurting you.” –Robert Quillen

“Growing old is a bad habit which a busy man has no time to form.” –Andre Maurois

“You can’t turn back the clock. But you can wind it up again.” –Bonnie Prudden

“In spite of illness, in spite even of the archenemy sorrow, one can remain alive long past the usual date of disintegration if one is unafraid of change, insatiable in intellectual curiosity, interested in big things, and happy in small ways.” –Edith Wharton

“For the first half of your life, people tell you what you should do; for the second half, they tell you what you should have done.” – Richard Needham

“The years teach much which the days never knew.” –Ralph Waldo Emerson

“A man’s age is something impressive, it sums up his life: maturity reached slowly and against many obstacles, illnesses cured, griefs and despairs overcome, and unconscious risks taken; maturity formed through so many desires, hopes, regrets, forgotten things, loves. A man’s age represents a fine cargo of experiences and memories.” –Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

“There is no pleasure worth forgoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward.” – John Mortimer

“We are happier in many ways when we are old than when we were young. The young sow wild oats. The old grow sage.” –Sir Winston Churchill

“Men are like wine: some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.” –Pope John XXIII

“Though we seem grieved at the shortness of life in general, we are wishing every period of it at an end. The minor longs to be at age, then to be a man of business, then to make up an estate, then to arrive at honors, then to retire.” –Joseph Addison

“You have been warned against letting the golden hours slip by. Yes, but some of them are golden only because we let them slip by.” –James Barrie

Famous and Funny Quotes

– “The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once” – E. Joseph Cossman

– “Gray hair is God’s graffiti” – Bill Cosby

– “I lived in Miami for a while, in a section with a lot of really old people. The average age in my apartment house was dead” – Gabe Kaplan

– “Good Americans, when they die, go to Paris” – T. G. Appleton

– “We had a very successful trip to Russia we got back” – Bob Hope

– “I know lots more old drunks than old doctors” – Joe E. Lewis

– “My doctor said I look like a million dollars – green and wrinkled” – Red Skelton

– “Condoms aren’t completely safe. A friend of mine was wearing one . . . and got hit by a bus” – Bob Rubin

– “My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn’t pay the bill, he gave me six months more” – Walter Mattbau

– “I can’t believe that out of a hundred thousand sperm, you were the quickest” – Steven Pearl

– “she: Before we got married, you told me you were well-off.
he: I was, and I didn’t know it” – Jacob Braude
– “A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband” – Michel de Montaigne

Aging Quotes #4

# The troubles of the young are soon over; they leave no external mark. If you wound the tree in its youth the bark will quickly cover the gash; but when the tree is very old, peeling the bark off … you will see the scar there still. – Olive Schreiner

# We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing. – George Bernard Shaw

# What old people say you cannot do, you try and find that you can. Old deeds for old people, and new deeds for new. – Henry David Thoreau

# When you finally go back to your old home, you find it wasn’t the old home you missed but your childhood. – Sam Ewing

# Why is it that, as we grow older, we are so reluctant to change? It is not so much that new ideas are painful, for they are not. It is that old ideas are seldom entirely false, but have truth, great truth in them. The justification for conservatism is the desire to preserve the truths and standards of the past; its dangers, of which we are seldom aware, is that in preserving those values, we may miss the infinitely greater riches that lie in the future. – Dale Turner

# Wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself. – Tom Wilson

# Women may be the one group that grows more radical with age. – Gloria Steinem

# The years like great black oxen tread the world,
And God, the herdsman goads them on behind,
And I am broken by their passing feet. – William Butler Yeats

# You and I are old… Though much is taken, much abides; and though
We are not now that strength which in old days
Moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are–
One equal temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield. – Alfred, Lord Tennyson (Ulysses)

# You are as young as your faith, as old as your doubt; as young as your self-confidence, as old as your fear as young as your hope, as old as your despair. – Douglas MacArthur

# You can judge your age by the amount of pain you feel when you come in contact with a new idea. – John Nuveen

# You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake. – Bob Hope

Negative Friendship Quotes

If you think that friendship is all about colored flowers, joyfull, and happyness, well … you’re wrong. There are several negative friendship quotes that I’m gonna show you.

– “There is nothing in the world I wouldn’t do for (Bob) Hope, and there is nothing he wouldn’t do for me … We spend our lives doing nothing for each other.” – Bing Crosby

– “Whoever says Friendship is easy has obviously never had a true friend!” – Bronwyn Polson

– I don’t trust him. We’re friends.” – Bertolt Brecht

– “I’ve noticed your hostility towards him … I ought to have guessed you were friends.” – Malcolm Bradbury

– “A friend in power is a friend lost” – Henry Adams

– “Whenever a friend suceeds, a little something in me dies.” – Gore Vidal

– “A friend in need is a friend to be avoided.” – Lord Samuel

– “These people aren’t your friends, they’re paid to kiss your feet.” – Radiohead

– “When I needed you most when I needed a friend, you let me down now like I let you down then” – Blink 182

– “Friendships last when each friend thinks he has a slight superiority over the other.” – Honore Debalazac