Tag: James Thurber

Funny Love Quotes

Posted on March 30, 2011 by

Let’s make our day better with some wonderful funny love quotes.

“A light heart lives long.” – William Shakespeare

“Never go to bed mad — stay up and fight.” – Phyllis Diller

“To be in love is merely to be in a state of perceptual anesthesia.” – H.L. Mencken

“Once you have loved someone, you’d do anything in the world for them… except love them again.” – Anonymous

“Love is like war: Easy to begin but hard to end.” – Anonymous

“Love has the power of making you believe what you would normally treat with the deepest suspicion.” – Mirabeau

“Three things can’t be hidden: coughing, poverty, and love.” – Yiddish proverb

“The most wasted day is that in which we have not laughed.” – Chamfort

“I detest ‘love lyrics.’ I think one of the causes of bad mental health in the United States is that people have been raised on ‘love lyrics.” – Frank Zappa

“You’d be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap.” – Dolly Parton

“I should like to see any kind of a man, distinguishable from a gorilla, that some good and even pretty woman could not shape a husband out of.” – Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

“A woman might as well propose: her husband will claim she did.” – Edgar Watson Howe

“I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor’s eighth husband on her wedding night: I know what I’m supposed to do…I just have to figure out a way to make it interesting.” – many attributions

“No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying.” – unknown

“An old man who marries a young wife grows younger – but she grows older.” – folk saying

“It is not uncommon for slight acquaintances to get married, but a couple really have to know each other to get divorced.” – Anonymous

“What female heart can despise gold?” – Thomas Gray

“A lady of 47 who has been married 27 years and has six children knows what love really is and once described it for me like this: ‘Love is what you’ve been through with somebody.'” – James Thurber

“I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” – Rita Rudner

“We cannot really love anybody without whom we never laugh.” – Alice Reppler

Wisdom Quotes and Sayings

Posted on January 10, 2011 by

Some wonderful wisdom quotes and sayings for a great day :)

“The art of being wise is knowing what to overlook.” – William James

“What you are is what you have been, and what you will be is what you do now.” – The Buddha

“The seat of knowledge is in the head, of wisdom, in the heart.” – William Hazlitt

“No man is smart, except by comparison to those who know less.” – Edgar Watson Howe

“A wise man learns by the mistakes of others, a fool by his own.” – Latin Proverb

“Statistics are like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive but what they conceal is vital.” – Aaron Levenstein

“Years teach us more than books.” – Berthold Auerbach

“The first step in the acquisition of wisdom is silence, the second listening, the third memory, the fourth practice, the fifth teaching others.” – Solomon Ibn Gabriol

“The man of wisdom is never of two minds; the man of benevolence never worries; the man of courage is never afraid.” – Confucius

“No man was ever wise by chance.” – Seneca

“Of all parts of wisdom the practice is the best.” – John Tillotson

“If you try you may fail, if you don’t try you’re guaranteed to fail.” – Jesse Jackson

“Enjoy when you can, and endure when you must.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

“You can tell more about a person by what he says about others than you can by what others say about him.” – Leo Aikman

“Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.” –Theodore Roosevelt

“Look at everything as though you were seeing it either for the first or last time.” – Betty Smith

“Never explain. Your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe it anyway.” – Elbert Hubbard

“To know the road ahead, ask those coming back.” – Chinese Proverb

“Be nice to people on your way up because you’ll need them on your way down.” – W. Migner

“There are two kinds of light – the glow that illuminates, and the glare that obscures.” – James Thurber

“Wisdom is found only in truth.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

“Knowing others is wisdom, knowing yourself is enlightenment.” – Lao Tzu

“Don’t compromise yourself. You’re all you’ve got.” –Janis Joplin

Funny Men Quotes

Posted on July 29, 2010 by

– “My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.” – Tim Allen
– “The more I know about men the more I like dogs.” – Gloria Allred
– “Marrying a man is like buying something you’ve been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn’t always go with everything in the house.” – Jean Kerr
– “Behind every successful man there is a surprised woman.” – Maryon Pearson
– “I am not a cat man, but a dog man, and all felines can tell this at a glance — a sharp, vindictive glance.” – James Thurber
– “Women are never disarmed by compliments. Men always are. That is the difference between the sexes.” – Oscar Wilde
– “Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.” – Oscar Wilde
– “The more I see of men, the more I admire dogs.” – Jeanne-Marie Roland
– “On the one hand, we’ll never experience childbirth. On the other hand, we can open all our own jars.” – Bruce Willis
– “Why can’t women tell jokes? Because we marry them!” – Kathy Lette
– “Why do men like intelligent women? Because opposites attract.” – Kathy Lette
– “Men think monogamy is something you make dining tables out of.” – Kathy Lette
– “Every time a woman leaves off something she looks better, but every time a man leaves off something he looks worse.” – Will Rogers
– “Man has will, but woman has her way.” – Oliver Wendell Holmes