Friendship Quotes – a large collection of famous and inspirational quotes

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Funny Quotes about Friends

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– “He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.” – Oscar Wilde

– “A true friend stabs you in the front.” – Oscar Wilde

– “Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.” – Oscar Wilde

– “I always like to know everything about my new friends, and nothing about my old ones.” – Oscar Wilde

– “It is a great confidence in a friend to tell him your faults; greater to tell him his.” – Benjamin Franklin

– “A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked.” – Bernard Meltzer

– “Marriage is a sort of friendship recognized by the police.” – Anonymous

– “A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success.” – Doug Larson

– “Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.” – Anonymous

– “Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.” – Groucho Marx

– “Love is blind; friendship closes its eyes.” – Anonymous

– “It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

– “Men kick friendship around like a football, but it doesn’t seem to crack. Women treat it like glass and it goes to pieces.” – Anne Morrow Lindbergh

– “Friends are God’s way of apologizing to us for our families.” – Anonymous

– “A friend doesn’t go on a diet because you are fat.” – Erma Bombeck

– “A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend – and he’s a priest.” – Erma Bombeck

– “One measure of friendship consists not in the number of things friends can discuss, but in the number of things they need no longer mention.” – Clifton Fadiman

– “Most people enjoy the inferiority of their best friends.” – Lord Chesterfield

– “A lifelong friend is someone you haven’t borrowed money from yet.” – Anonymous

– “A friend is one who has the same enemies as you have.” – Abraham Lincoln

– “Contrary to general belief, I do not believe that friends are necessarily the people you like best, they are merely the people who got there first.” – Peter Ustinov

– “Friends are the siblings God never gave us.” – Mencius

– “One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.” – George Carlin

– “A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail. A best friend is the one sitting next to you saying “boy was that fun.”” – The Maugles

– “Friendship is like money, easier made than kept.” – Samuel Butler

– “Nine-tenths of the people were created so you would want to be with the other tenth.” – Horace Walpole

– “You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.” – Harry S. Truman

– “I don’t like to commit myself about heaven and hell – you see, I have friends in both places.” – Mark Twain

Cute Quotes to Make You Smile

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– “Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.” – Rita Rudner

– “My wife was too beautiful for words – but not for arguments.” – John Barrymore

– “I think any man in business would be foolish to fool around with his secretary. If it’s somebody else’s secretary, fine.” – Barry Goldwater

– “A babysitter is a teenager acting like an adult while the adults are out acting like teenagers.” – Anonymous

– “I was showing early symptoms of becoming a professional baseball man. I was lying to the press.” – Roger Kahn

– “A man’s go to do what a man’s got to do. A woman must do what he can’t.” – Rhonda Hansome

– “The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.” – Lucille Ball

– “Love is the child of illusion and the parent of disillusion.” – Miguel de Unamuno

– “Accomplishing the impossible means only that the boss will add it to your regular duties.” – Anonymous

– “All the things I really like are either immoral, illegal or fattening.” – Alexander Woollcott

– “Adults are always asking kids what they want to be when they grow up because they are looking for ideas.” – Paula Poundstone

– “Nobody believes the official spokesman, but everybody trusts an unidentified source.” – Ron Nesen

– “Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don’t have on something they don’t need.” – Will Rogers

– “Don’t forget Mother’s Day… or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad’s Third Wife Day.” – Jay Leno

– “Age is just a number. It’s totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine.” – Joan Collins

– “If we’re not supposed to eat animals, how come they’re made out of meat?” – Tom Snyder

– “Things hurt me now. My knees hurt, my back hurts. But your head still thinks it’s twenty-three.” – George Clooney

– “Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days.” – Benjamin Franklin

– “Some people are like Slinkies – not really good for anything, but you still can’t help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.” – Anonymous

– “You better live every day like it’s your last day, because one day you’re going to be right.” – Ray Charles

– “I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.” – Rita Rudner

Famous Love Quotes

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“A mighty pain to love it is, and ’tis a pain that pain to miss; but of all the pains, the greatest pain is to love, but love in vain.” – Abraham Crowley

“So much of what we know of love we learn at home.” – Unknown

“You don’t marry someone you can live with – you marry the person who you cannot live without.” – Unknown

“Love is blind, but friendship closes its eyes.” – Unknown

“Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction.” – Saint-Exupery

“A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous.” – Ingrid Bergman

“Love built on beauty, soon as beauty, dies.” – John Donne

“He that falls in love with himself will have no rivals.” – Benjamin Franklin

“I never knew how to worship until I knew how to love.” – Henry Ward Beecher

“Woe to the man whose heart has not learned while young to hope, to love – and to put its trust in life.” – Joseph Conrad

“True love is like ghosts, which everybody talks about and few have seen.” – La Rochefoucauld

“Who ever loved that loved not at first sight?” – Christopher Marlowe

Progress Quotes

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– “All progress is precarious, and the solution of one problem brings us face to face with another problem.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.

– “Law and order exist for the purpose of establishing justice and when they fail in this purpose they become the dangerously structured dams that block the flow of social progress.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.

– “The natural progress of things is for liberty to yield and government to gain ground.” – Thomas Jefferson

– “Technological progress is like an axe in the hands of a pathological criminal.” – Albert Einstein

– “If you’re walking down the right path and you’re willing to keep walking, eventually you’ll make progress.” – Barack Obama

– “There are no constraints on the human mind, no walls around the human spirit, no barriers to our progress except those we ourselves erect.” – Ronald Reagan

– “We may never be strong enough to be entirely nonviolent in thought, word and deed. But we must keep nonviolence as our goal and make strong progress towards it.” – Mohandas Gandhi

– “Honest disagreement is often a good sign of progress.” – Mohandas Gandhi

– “Healthy discontent is the prelude to progress.” – Mohandas Gandhi

– “It doesn’t matter which side of the fence you get off on sometimes. What matters most is getting off. You cannot make progress without making decisions.” – Jim Rohn

– “Make measurable progress in reasonable time.” – Jim Rohn

– “Success is steady progress toward one’s personal goals.” – Jim Rohn

– “Progress lies not in enhancing what is, but in advancing toward what will be.” – Kahlil Gibran

– “Without continual growth and progress, such words as improvement, achievement, and success have no meaning.” – Benjamin Franklin

– “Our progress as a nation can be no swifter than our progress in education. The human mind is our fundamental resource.” – John F. Kennedy

– “The best road to progress is freedom’s road.” – John F. Kennedy

– “We all want progress, but if you’re on the wrong road, progress means doing an about-turn and walking back to the right road; in that case, the man who turns back soonest is the most progressive.” – C. S. Lewis

– “It behooves every man to remember that the work of the critic is of altogether secondary importance, and that, in the end, progress is accomplished by the man who does things.” – Theodore Roosevelt

Respect Quotes

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– “Men are so willing to respect anything that bores them.” – Marilyn Monroe

– “An individual who breaks a law that conscience tells him is unjust, and who willingly accepts the penalty of imprisonment in order to arouse the conscience of the community over its injustice, is in reality expressing the highest respect for the law.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.

– “One who breaks an unjust law that conscience tells him is unjust, and who willingly accepts the penalty of imprisonment in order to arouse the conscience of the community over its injustice, is in reality expressing the highest respect for law.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.

– “I submit that an individual who breaks the law that conscience tells him is unjust and willingly accepts the penalty by staying in jail to arouse the conscience of the community over its injustice, is in reality expressing the very highest respect for law.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.

– “Property is intended to serve life, and no matter how much we surround it with rights and respect, it has no personal being. It is part of the earth man walks on. It is not man.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.

– “If we lose love and self respect for each other, this is how we finally die.” – Maya Angelou

– “The fact that the adult American Negro female emerges a formidable character is often met with amazement, distaste and even belligerance. It is seldom accepted as an inevitable outcome of the struggle won by survivors, and deserves respect if not enthusiastic acceptance.” – Maya Angelou

– “Nothing is more destructive of respect for the government and the law of the land than passing laws which cannot be enforced.” – Albert Einstein

– “If once you forfeit the confidence of your fellow-citizens, you can never regain their respect and esteem.” – Abraham Lincoln

– “If you have ten thousand regulations you destroy all respect for the law.” – Winston Churchill

– “The British nation is unique in this respect. They are the only people who like to be told how bad things are, who like to be told the worst.” – Winston Churchill

We do not covet anything from any nation except their respect.” – Winston Churchill

When people do not respect us we are sharply offended; yet in his private heart no man much respects himself.” – Mark Twain

Literature adds to reality, it does not simply describe it. It enriches the necessary competencies that daily life requires and provides; and in this respect, it irrigates the deserts that our lives have already become.” – C. S. Lewis

– “We are more thoroughly an enlightened people, with respect to our political interests, than perhaps any other under heaven. Every man among us reads, and is so easy in his circumstances as to have leisure for conversations of improvement and for acquiring information.” – Benjamin Franklin

– “Football is like life – it requires perseverance, self-denial, hard work, sacrifice, dedication and respect for authority.” – Vince Lombardi

– “Go up close to your friend, but do not go over to him! We should also respect the enemy in our friend.” – Friedrich Nietzsche

– “The bad gains respect through imitation, the good loses it especially in art.” – Friedrich Nietzsche

– “If being an egomaniac means I believe in what I do and in my art or music, then in that respect you can call me that… I believe in what I do, and I’ll say it.” – John Lennon

Courage Quotes

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– “We must build dikes of courage to hold back the flood of fear.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.
– “Courage is the most important of all the virtues, because without courage you can’t practice any other virtue consistently. You can practice any virtue erratically, but nothing consistently without courage.” – Maya Angelou
– “My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return.” – Maya Angelou
– “One isn’t necessarily born with courage, but one is born with potential. Without courage, we cannot practice any other virtue with consistency. We can’t be kind, true, merciful, generous, or honest.” – Maya Angelou

– “History, despite its wrenching pain, cannot be unlived, but if faced with courage, need not be lived again.” – Maya Angelou

– “One man with courage is a majority.” – Thomas Jefferson

– “Any intelligent fool can make things bigger and more complex… It takes a touch of genius – and a lot of courage to move in the opposite direction.” – Albert Einstein

– “Above all, we must realize that no arsenal, or no weapon in the arsenals of the world, is so formidable as the will and moral courage of free men and women. It is a weapon our adversaries in today’s world do not have.” – Ronald Reagan

– “There are no easy answers’ but there are simple answers. We must have the courage to do what we know is morally right.” – Ronald Reagan

– “You cannot build character and courage by taking away a man’s initiative and independence.” – Abraham Lincoln

– “Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.” – Winston Churchill

– “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” – Winston Churchill

– “Courage is rightly esteemed the first of human qualities… because it is the quality which guarantees all others.” – Winston Churchill

– “Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.” – Mark Twain

– “It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.” – Mark Twain

– “Success is never final, failure is never fatal. It’s courage that counts.” – John Wooden

– “Who could refrain that had a heart to love and in that heart courage to make love known?” – William Shakespeare

– “Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point.” – C. S. Lewis

– “How few there are who have courage enough to own their faults, or resolution enough to mend them.” – Benjamin Franklin

– “Efforts and courage are not enough without purpose and direction.” – John F. Kennedy

Best Happy Quotes

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– “By taking a second wife he pays the highest compliment to the first, by showing that she made him so happy as a married man, that he wishes to be so a second time.” – Samuel Johnson

– “Use, do not abuse; neither abstinence nor excess ever renders man happy. ” – Voltaire

– “If you want to be happy, be.” – Leo Tolstoy

– “When we are happy we are always good, but when we are good we are not always happy.” – Oscar Wilde

– “Money never made a man happy yet, nor will it. There is nothing in its nature to produce happiness. The more a man has, the more he wants. Instead of filling a vacuum, it makes one.” – Benjamin Franklin

– “If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.” – Albert Einstein

– “Happy are those who dream dreams and are ready to pay the price to make them come true.” – Leon Joseph Cardinal Suenens

– “A joyful heart is the inevitable result of a heart burning with love.” – Mother Teresa

– “Happiness is an attitude. We either make ourselves miserable, or happy and strong. The amount of work is the same.” – Francesca Reigler

– “Our happiness is greatest when we contribute most to the happiness of others.” – Harriet Shepard

– “Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking.” – Marcus Aurelius

– “Drink because you are happy, but never because you are miserable.” – G. K. Chesterton

– “There are no great things, only small things with great love. Happy are those.” – Mother Teresa

– “I have no name: I am but two days old. What shall I call thee? I happy am, Joy is my name. Sweet joy befall thee!” – William Blake

50 funny quotes

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1. “Borrow money from a pessimist – they don’t expect it back” – Unknown

2. “Young men want to be faithful, and are not; old men want to be faithless, and cannot.” – Unknown

3. “Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.” – Unknown

4. “I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.” – Oscar Wilde

5. “Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.” – Homer Simpson

6. “I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.” – Whitney Brown

7. “When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That’s relativity.” – Albert Einstein

8. “Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them is making a poop, the other one is carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge.” – Jerry Seinfeld

9. “Here’s something to think about: How come you never see a headline like «Psychic Wins Lottery» ?” – Jay Leno

10. “One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.” – George W. Bush

11. “Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back.” – Al Bundy

12. “The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.” – Albert Einstein

13. “My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you’ll be happy; if not, you’ll become a philosopher.” – Socrates

14. “Gas is getting so expensive I’m gonna ride a mexican to work.” – Chris Rock

15. “Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little
bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.” – Jerry Seinfeld

16. “Never stand between a dog and the hydrant.” – John Peers

17. “I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.” – Steve Martin

18. “Only two things are necessary to keep one’s wife happy. One is to let her think she is having her own way, and the other is to let her have it.” – Lyndon B. Johnson

19. “Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home.” – Bill Cosbey

20. “If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.” – George Carlin

21. “If you are going through hell, keep going.” – Winston Churchill

22. “Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.” – Mark Twain

23. “If you love your job, you haven’t worked a day in your life.” – Tommy Lasorda

24. “A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.” – Steven Wright

25. “You tried, and you failed, so the lesson is, never try.” – Homer J. Simpson

26. “Every man is guilty of all the good he didn’t do.” – Voltaire

27. “When an actor marries an actress they both fight for the mirror.” – Burt Reynolds

28. “Absence — that common cure of love.” – Miguel De Cervantes

29. “Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.” – Wendell Johnson

30. “It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose.” – Weinberg

31. “As to marriage or celibacy, let a man take the course he will. He will be sure to repent.” – Socrates

32. “A husband is what’s left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.” – Helen Rowland

33. “Never insult an alligator until after you have crossed the river.” – Cordel Hull

34. “I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.” – Winston Churchill

35. “There are three faithful friends — an old wife, an old dog, and ready money.” – Benjamin Franklin

36. “The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate.” – Franklin P. Jones

37. “All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should
have been more specific.” – Jane Wagner

38. “The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new
discoveries, is not «Eureka!» (I found it!) but «That’s funny …» ” – Isaac Asimov

39. “Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.” – Oscar Wilde

40. “Doing nothing is very hard to do … you never know when you’re finished.” – Leslie Nielsen

41. “The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work.” – Robert Frost

42. “The person who writes for fools is always sure of a large audience.” – Arthur Schopenhauer

43. “An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets the more interested he is in her.” – Agatha Christie

44. “I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.” – Groucho Marx

45. “Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere.” – Mae West

46. “Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” – Benjamin Franklin

47. “Dancing: the vertical expression of a horizontal desire.” – George Bernard Shaw

48. “Don’t knock masturbation. It’s sex with someone I love.” – Woody Allen

49. “All women are good – good for nothing, or good for something.” – Miguel De Cervantes

50. “Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.” – Will Rogers

Beer Quotes

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– “Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.” – Dave Barry

– “Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed – Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn’t drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, «It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.»” – Jack Handy

– “Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” – Benjamin Franklin

– “I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer!” – Homer Simpson

– “Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.” – Kaiser Welhelm

– “Beer will always have a definite role in the diet of an individual and can be considered a cog in the wheel of nutritional foods.” – Bruce Carlton

– “It was as natural as eating and, to me, as necessary. I would not have thought of eating a meal without drinking a beer.” – Ernest Hemingway

– “Pretty women make us BUY beer. Ugly women make us DRINK beer.” – Ed O’Neill

– “He was a great man who invented beer” – Plato

– “I only drink beer on days that ends with «Y»” – Unknown