Tag: husband

10 Funny Wisdom Quotes

Posted on April 27, 2011April 27, 2011 by

“All men are frauds. The only difference between them is that some admit it. I myself deny it.” – H. L. Mencken

“If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?” – Scott Adams

“Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.” – Oscar Wilde

“Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.” – Anonymous

“Laughing at our mistakes can lengthen our own life. Laughing at someone else’s can shorten it.” – Cullen Hightower

“Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories.” – John Wilmot

“I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.” – Anonymous

“I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.” – A. Whitney

“I’ve gone into hundreds of [fortune-teller’s parlors], and have been told thousands of things, but nobody ever told me I was a policewoman getting ready to arrest her.” – New York City detective

“Remember: Don’t Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river.” – Anonymous

Funny Anonymous Quotes

Posted on April 26, 2011 by

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.

The word ‘studying’ was made up of two words originally – ‘students dying’.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

24 hours in a day 24 beers in a case coincidence? I think not.

If I agreed with you we’d both be wrong.

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.

You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?” Father replied, “I don’t know son, I’m still paying.”

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband.

Funny Love Quotes

Posted on March 30, 2011 by

Let’s make our day better with some wonderful funny love quotes.

“A light heart lives long.” – William Shakespeare

“Never go to bed mad — stay up and fight.” – Phyllis Diller

“To be in love is merely to be in a state of perceptual anesthesia.” – H.L. Mencken

“Once you have loved someone, you’d do anything in the world for them… except love them again.” – Anonymous

“Love is like war: Easy to begin but hard to end.” – Anonymous

“Love has the power of making you believe what you would normally treat with the deepest suspicion.” – Mirabeau

“Three things can’t be hidden: coughing, poverty, and love.” – Yiddish proverb

“The most wasted day is that in which we have not laughed.” – Chamfort

“I detest ‘love lyrics.’ I think one of the causes of bad mental health in the United States is that people have been raised on ‘love lyrics.” – Frank Zappa

“You’d be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap.” – Dolly Parton

“I should like to see any kind of a man, distinguishable from a gorilla, that some good and even pretty woman could not shape a husband out of.” – Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

“A woman might as well propose: her husband will claim she did.” – Edgar Watson Howe

“I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor’s eighth husband on her wedding night: I know what I’m supposed to do…I just have to figure out a way to make it interesting.” – many attributions

“No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying.” – unknown

“An old man who marries a young wife grows younger – but she grows older.” – folk saying

“It is not uncommon for slight acquaintances to get married, but a couple really have to know each other to get divorced.” – Anonymous

“What female heart can despise gold?” – Thomas Gray

“A lady of 47 who has been married 27 years and has six children knows what love really is and once described it for me like this: ‘Love is what you’ve been through with somebody.'” – James Thurber

“I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” – Rita Rudner

“We cannot really love anybody without whom we never laugh.” – Alice Reppler