Tag: idiot

I Love Quotes

Posted on December 4, 2011December 4, 2011 by

“The question is not ‘Is there life after death?’ The question is, ‘Is there life before death?’” — Alan Cohen

“Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.” –Unknown

“All the beautiful sentiments in the world weigh less than a single lovely action.” — James Russell Lowel

“The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.” –Unknown

“Tell your boss what you think of him, and the truth shall set you free.” – Unknown

“This above all; to thine own self be true.” — William Shakespeare

“Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of congress. But I repeat myself.” — Mark Twain

“We are always getting ready to live, but never living” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

“The only time a woman succeeds in changing a man is when he’s a baby.” — Natalie Wood

“I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.” — Lily Tomlin

“When you invest your time and energy in stuff that drags you down, you die a little bit every day.” – Alan Cohen

“The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it’s unfamiliar territory.” –Paul Fix

“Until you try, you don’t know what you can’t do.” –Henry James

“Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.” –Susan Erz

“Be happy while you are living, for you are a long time dead.” –Scottish Proverb

“If you’re going through Hell, keep going.” –Winston Churchill

“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.” –Anne Frank

“Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.” –Mark Twain

“To think you know what is best for another person is an industrial-strength ego trip.” –Alan Cohen

“I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.” –Noel Coward

“If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.” — Regina Brett

“If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask?” — Scott Adams

“You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take.” –Wayne Gretzky

“Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.” –Will Rogers

“Doing your best in this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment.” –Oprah Winfrey

Quotes and Observations

Posted on July 23, 2011 by

“If you don’t read the newspaper you are uninformed. If you do read the newspaper, you are misinformed.” ~Mark Twain

Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But then, I repeat myself. ~Mark Twain

I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle. ~Winston Churchill

A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. ~George Bernard Shaw

A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money. ~G. Gordon Liddy

Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner. ~James Bovard, (Civil Libertarian, 1994)

Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries. ~Douglas Casey *Bill Clinton’s Classmate at Georgetown University

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. ~P.J. O’Rourke, Civil Libertarian

Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else. ~Frederic Bastiat, French Economist, 1801-1850

Government’s view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.~Ronald Reagan 1986

I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. ~Will Rogers

If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it’s free! ~P.J. O’Rourke

In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other. ~Voltaire 1764

Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn’t mean politics won’t take an interest in you! ~Pericles 430 B.C.

No man’s life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session. ~Mark Twain 1866

Talk is cheap except when Congress does it. ~Unknown

The government is like a baby’s alimentary canal, with a happy appetite at one end and no responsibility at the other. ~Ronald Reagan

The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the blessings. The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of misery. ~Winston Churchill

The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin. ~Mark Twain

The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools. ~Herbert Spencer English Philosopher 1820-1903

There is no distinctly Native American criminal class …save Congress. ~Mark Twain

What this country needs are more unemployed politicians. ~Edward Langley Artist,1928-1995

A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have. ~Thomas Jefferson

Michael Moore Quotes

Posted on June 29, 2011 by

A majority of this country opposes this war, a majority of this country never voted for this administration. – Michael Moore Quotes

Any time you got the Pope and the Dixie Chicks against you, your time is up. – Michael Moore Quotes

Clinton was a pretty good president for a Republican. – Michael Moore Quotes

I like America to some extent. – Michael Moore Quotes

I personally hold Blair more responsible for this war than I do George Bush. The reason is, Blair knows better, Blair is not an idiot. What is he doing hanging around this guy? – Michael Moore Quotes

I’m a millionaire, I’m a multi-millionaire. I’m filthy rich. You know why I’m a multi-millionaire? ‘Cause multi-millions like what I do. – Michael Moore Quotes

Should such an ignorant people lead the world? How did it come to this in the first place? 82 percent of us don’t even have a passport! Just a handful can speak a language other than English. – Michael Moore Quotes

The Iraqis who have risen up against the occupation are not ‘insurgents’ or ‘terrorists’ or ‘The Enemy.’ They are the revolution, the Minutemen, and their numbers will grow – and they will win. – Michael Moore Quotes

The majority of Americans, the ones who never elected George W. Bush, are not fooled by his weapons of mass distraction. – Michael Moore Quotes

The motivation for war is simple. The U.S. government started the war with Iraq in order to make it easy for U.S. corporations to do business in other countries. They intend to use cheap labor in those countries, which will make Americans rich. – Michael Moore Quotes

There’s a gullible side to the American people. They can be easily misled. Religion is the best device used to mislead them. – Michael Moore Quotes

We live in the time where we have fictitious election results that elects a fictitious president. We live in a time where we have a man sending us to war for fictitious reasons. – Michael Moore Quotes

White people scare the crap out of me. – Michael Moore Quotes

Funny Hater Quotes

Posted on February 4, 2011February 4, 2011 by

Behind every bitch is a man that made her that way

I hate two faced people. It’s hard to decide which face to slap first.

Sweetie, if your going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty.

I may look calm, but in my head, I’ve killed you three times.

You’re only young once, but you can be immature forever.

I love listening to lies, when I know the truth.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Dear Lord, please give me the strength to not slap an idiot today…Amen

Does this dress make me look fat? No, it’s the fat that makes you look fat.

If anybody sends me anymore farmville requests, I will burn your crops and destroy your animals!

Never take back what you say, turn your back and walk away!

Drama is made for movies, not reality!

Drama, lies, tears…teenage years.

Sorry…I’m not Rihanna. I don’t love the way you lie.

Love me, hate me, just think, you’re thinking of me!

You talk it. We live it. You’re jealous. Admit it.

It’s not my fault your man wants me.

My name must taste good! It’s always in someone’s mouth

Save the drama for your mama!

If you don’t like me – who the hell cares!

People will always talk about you… might as well give them something to talk about

Keep talkin: you’re making me famous!

A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day.

If you don’t know me, THEN DON’T JUDGE ME! Nobody said you had to “love me”!

Speak well of your enemies – You were the one who made them!

To all you haters – Do what you do. I sure as hell ain’t gonna waste my time on YOU!

Hating on a certain name only gives them the fame.

Funny Jokes Quotes

Posted on February 1, 2011 by

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. “Yes” is the answer.

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

If I agreed with you we’d both be wrong.

Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

War does not determine who is right – only who is left.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.

Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.

The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.