Tag: television

Awesome Life Quotes

Posted on April 16, 2012 by

Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we’re looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn’t test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power. – P.J. O’Rourke

If you end up with a boring, miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest, or some guy on television telling you how to do your shit, then you deserve it. – Frank Zappa

There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self. – Ernest Hemingway

Funny Quotes About Parents

Posted on August 13, 2011 by

“Parents are not interested in justice, they’re interested in peace and quiet.” – Bill Cosby

“There are two things that a child will share willingly – communicable diseases and its mother’s age.” – Benjamin Spock

“I don’t think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.” – Woody Allen

“Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.” – Bill Cosby

“Parents are the bones on which children cut their teeth.” – Peter Ustinov

“Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath, and hope we’ve set aside enough money to pay for our kids’ therapy.” – Michelle Pfeiffer

“Think of stretch marks as pregnancy service stripes.” – Joyce Armor

“Little League baseball is a very good thing because it keeps the parents off the streets.” – Yogi Berra

“The most loving parents and relatives commit murder with smiles on their faces. They force us to destroy the person we really are: a subtle kind of murder.” – Jim Morrison

“I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.” – Rodney Dangerfield

“If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t, either.” – Dick Cavett

“That’s sort of a cliché about parents. We all believe that our children are the most beautiful children in the world. But the thing is, what no one really talks about is the fact that we all really believe it.” – Heather Armstrong

“My father hated radio and could not wait for television to be invented so he could hate that too.” – Peter De Vries

“Somewhere it is written that parents who are critical of other people’s children and publicly admit they can do better is asking for it.” – Erma Bombeck

“My husband and I have decided to start a family while my parents are still young enough to look after them.” – Rita Rudner

“Call me Jonah. My parents did, or nearly did. They called me John.” – Kurt Vonnegut

“It is paradoxical that many educators and parents still differentiate between a time for learning and a time for play without seeing the vital connection between them.” – Leo Buscaglia

“Parents wonder why the streams are bitter, when they themselves have poisoned the fountain.” – John Locke

“My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.” – Mark Twain

“Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore.” – Ogden Nash

“My parents are my backbone. Still are. They’re the only group that will support you if you score zero or you score 40.” – Kobe Bryant

“I believe that we parents must encourage our children to become educated, so they can get into a good college that we cannot afford.” – Dave Barry

“Tyranny or slavery, born of selfishness, are the two educational methods of parents; all gradations of tyranny or slavery.” – Franz Kafka

“The best part about being friends with your parents is that no matter what you do, they have to keep loving you.” – Natalie Portman

10 Life Lessons

Posted on July 25, 2011 by

Smoke like a chimney, work like a horse, eat without thinking, go for a walk only in really pleasant company.” ~ Albert Einstein

Get yourself in trouble. If you get yourself in trouble, you don’t have the answers. And if you don’t have the answers, your solution will more likely be personal because no one else’s solutions will seem appropriate. You’ll have to come up with your own.” ~ Chuck Close

You practice and you get better. It’s very simple.” ~ Philip Glass

A big part of life is realizing what you’re good at.” ~ Alyssa Milano

Children teach you that you can still be humbled by life, that you learn something new all the time. That’s the secret to life, really — never stop learning. It’s the secret to career. I’m still working because I learn something new all the time. It’s the secret to relationships. Never think you’ve got it all.” ~ Clint Eastwood

You can’t just live in a comfortable little suburban neighborhood and get your education from movies and television and have any perspective on life.” ~ J. Craig Venter

A friend is someone who will tell you when you’re bullshitting, when you’ve overstepped a mark, or when you’re being an idiot.” ~ Sting

I think we will make it. Because one quality people have — certainly Americans have it — is that they can adapt when they see necessity staring them in the face. What to avoid is what someone once called the definition of hell: truth realized too late.”~ E. O. Wilson

The measure of achievement is not winning awards. It’s doing something that you appreciate, something you believe is worthwhile. I think of my strawberry souffle. I did that at least twenty-eight times before I finally conquered it.” ~ Julia Child

In the end, winning is sleeping better.” ~ Jodie Foster

10 Famous Wisdom Quotes

Posted on April 7, 2011 by

1. Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell. – Joan Crawford

2. Where there is love, there is pain. – Spanish Proverb

3. It is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all. – Alfred Lord Tennyson

4. Comedy is an escape not from the truth but from despair; a narrow escape into faith. – Christopher Fry

5. I like a man who grins when he fights. – Winston Churchill

6. Even on the road to hell, flowers can make you smile. – Deng Ming-Dao

7. Anyone can hate. It costs to love. – John Williamson

8. True is the grief you carry without witnesses. – Marcus Martialis

9. I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. – Groucho Marx

10. It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that you would lie if you were in his place. – H. L. Mencken

Sarcastic Quotes

Posted on March 15, 2011March 15, 2011 by

If you’re one in a million, there are six thousand people exactly like you.

Don’t be humble. You’re not that great.

I feel so miserable without you, it’s almost like having you here.

He was happily married – but his wife wasn’t.

He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.

If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

Sarcasm I now see to be, in general, the language of the devil.

Someone who thinks logically, provides a nice contrast to the real world.

You were looking good from afar.. now you’re far from looking good.

I like you. People say I’ve got no taste, but I like you.

Nothing is more discouraging than unappreciated sarcasm.

Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.

We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.

The grass may be greener on the other side but at least you don’t have to mow it.

There’s too much blood in my caffeine system.

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian, any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

A person who aims at nothing is sure to hit it.

I’m impressed, I’ve never met such a small mind inside such a big head before.

If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

Violence won’t solve anything….But it sure makes me feel good.

Sarcasm is the body’s natural defense against stupidity.

Think I am sarcastic?
Watch me pretend to care!

That is the ugliest top Ive ever seen, yet it compliments your face perfectly.

I don’t believe in plastic surgery,
But in your case,
Go ahead.

My loyalty cannot be brought, however, it can be rented.

I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.

I’m not crazy! The voices tell me I am entirely sane.

Stephen Fry Funny Quotes

Posted on September 22, 2009September 23, 2009 by

stephen-fry – “When you’ve seen a nude infant doing a backward somersault you know why clothing exists.” – Stephen Fry
– “Old Professors never die, they just lose their faculties. ” – Stephen Fry
– “Many people would no more think of entering journalism than the sewage business – which at least does us all some good.” – Stephen Fry

– “I don’t watch television, I think it destroys the art of talking about oneself.” – Stephen Fry

– “I could rent a room, paint it black, bolt on a few chains and call it my punishment room, Then have men in posing pouches in the background.” – Stephen Fry

– “An original idea. That can’t be too hard. The library must be full of them.” – Stephen Fry

– “I don’t need you to remind me of my age. I have a bladder to do that for me.” – Stephen Fry