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Famous and Funny Psychology Quotes

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– “Behavioral psychology is the science of pulling habits out of rats.” – Douglas Busch

– “Psychology is the science of the act of experiencing, and deals with the whole system of such acts as they make up mental life.” – Samuel Alexander

– “Psychoanalysis is confession without absolution.” – G.K. Chesterton

– “Like all science, psychology is knowledge; and like science again, it is knowledge of a definite thing, the mind.” – James M. Baldwin

– “A vigorous five-mile walk will do more good for an unhappy but otherwise healthy adult than all the medicine and psychology in the world.” – Paul Dudley White

– “The aim of psychoanalysis is to relieve people of their neurotic unhappiness so that they can be normally unhappy.” – Sigmund Freud

– “A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.” – Joey Adams

– “There are cases where psychoanalysis works worse than anything else. But who said that psychoanalysis was to be applied always and everywhere.” – C.G. Jung

– “There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.” – Ben Williams

– “Psychology keeps trying to vindicate human nature. History keeps undermining the effort.” – Mason Cooley

– “A wonderful discovery, psychoanalysis. Makes quite simple people feel they’re complex.” – S.N. Behrman

– “Psychology has a long past, but only a short history.” – Hermann Ebbinghaus

– “A neurotic is a man who builds a castle in the air. A psychotic is the man who lives in it. A psychiatrist is the man who collects the rent.” – Jerome Lawrence

– “The two main hazards of psychoanalysis: that it might fail, and that if it succeeds, you’ll never be able to forgive yourself for all those wasted years.” – Mignon McLaughlin

– “The purpose of psychology is to give us a completely different idea of the things we know best.” – Paul Valéry

– “Psychiatry is probably the single most destructive force that has affected the American society within the last fifty years.” – Thomas S. Szasz

– “Psychoanalysis can provide a theory of ‘progress,’ but only by viewing history as a neurosis.” – Norman O. Brown, Life Against Death

Funny Hater Quotes

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Behind every bitch is a man that made her that way

I hate two faced people. It’s hard to decide which face to slap first.

Sweetie, if your going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty.

I may look calm, but in my head, I’ve killed you three times.

You’re only young once, but you can be immature forever.

I love listening to lies, when I know the truth.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Dear Lord, please give me the strength to not slap an idiot today…Amen

Does this dress make me look fat? No, it’s the fat that makes you look fat.

If anybody sends me anymore farmville requests, I will burn your crops and destroy your animals!

Never take back what you say, turn your back and walk away!

Drama is made for movies, not reality!

Drama, lies, tears…teenage years.

Sorry…I’m not Rihanna. I don’t love the way you lie.

Love me, hate me, just think, you’re thinking of me!

You talk it. We live it. You’re jealous. Admit it.

It’s not my fault your man wants me.

My name must taste good! It’s always in someone’s mouth

Save the drama for your mama!

If you don’t like me – who the hell cares!

People will always talk about you… might as well give them something to talk about

Keep talkin: you’re making me famous!

A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day.

If you don’t know me, THEN DON’T JUDGE ME! Nobody said you had to “love me”!

Speak well of your enemies – You were the one who made them!

To all you haters – Do what you do. I sure as hell ain’t gonna waste my time on YOU!

Hating on a certain name only gives them the fame.

Belive in Yourself Quotes

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There is nothing more beautiful than believing in yourself. – Sam Kao

Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent. – Eleanor Roosevelt

It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else’s eyes. – Sally Field

Our remedies oft in ourselves do lie, Which we ascribe to heaven. – William Shakespeare

Dreams do come true if you keep believing in yourself. Anything is possible. – Jennifer Capriati

Celebrate all the things you don’t like about yourself – love yourself. – Lady Gaga

To be a champ, you have to believe in yourself when nobody else will. – Sugar Ray Robinson

Just go out there and do what you’ve got to do. – Martina Navratilova

If you don’t ask because you might be refused, you’ve already refused yourself. – Nisandeh Neta

You must expect great things of yourself before you can do them. – Michael Jordan

Sing like no one’s listening, love like you’ve never been hurt, dance like nobody’s watching. and live like it’s heaven on earth. – Mark Twain

Use your imagination not to scare yourself to death but to inspire yourself to life. – Adele Brookman

It’s time to start living the life you’ve imagined. – Henry James

Fear kills everything. Your mind, your heart, your imagination. – Cornelia Funke

You’re only a victim when you allow yourself to be one. – Primadonna Angela

The mind should dance with the body, and the whole universe is your stage. Try to feel that whatever you are doing is the most beautiful thing, the prettiest dance, because you are dancing with the whole Universe. – Yogi Bhajan

Pay no attention to what the critics say. A statue has never been erected in honor of a critic. – Jean Sibelius

Whether you think you can or think you can’t – you are right. – Henry Ford

If you hear a voice within you say “you cannot paint,” then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced. – Vincent Van Gogh

Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Spirit can walk, spirit can swim, spirit can climb, spirit can crawl. There is no terrain you cannot overcome.  – Irisa Hail

I quit being afraid when my first venture failed and the sky didn’t fall down. – Allen H. Neuharth

Knock the “t” off the “can’t.” – George Reeves

Don’t let anyone steal your dream. It’s your dream, not theirs. – Dan Zadra

Men harm others by their deeds, themselves by their thoughts. – Augustus William Hare and Julius Charles Hare

Anyone who ever gave you confidence, you owe them a lot. – Truman Capote

Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt. – William Shakespeare

What a man thinks of himself, that it is which determines, or rather indicates his fate. – Henry David Thoreau

A person can grow only as much as his horizon allows. – John Powell

Only as high as I reach can I grow,
Only as far as I seek can I go,
Only as deep as I look can I see,
Only as much as I dream can I be. – Karen Ravn

Never dull your shine for somebody else. – Tyra Banks

Oliver Wendell Holmes once attended a meeting in which he was the shortest man present. “Dr. Holmes,” quipped a friend, “I should think you’d feel rather small among us big fellows.” “I do,” retorted Holmes, “I feel like a dime among a lot of pennies.” – Author Unknown

If we all did the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves. – Thomas Alva Edison

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

It’s me who is my enemy
Me who beats me up
Me who makes the monsters
Me who strips my confidence. – Paula Cole

I am not a has-been. I am a will be. – Lauren Bacall

Always act like you’re wearing an invisible crown. – Author Unknown

It is not the mountain we conquer but ourselves. – Edmund Hillary

I am convinced all of humanity is born with more gifts than we know. Most are born geniuses and just get de-geniused rapidly. – Buckminster Fuller

God wisely designed the human body so that we can neither pat our own backs nor kick ourselves too easily. – Author Unknown

Birthday Quotes

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Celebrate your birthday with a great portion of enjoyable birthday quotes.

“Nobody grows old merely by living a number of years. We grow old by deserting our ideals. Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul.” –Samuel Ullman

“At age 20, we worry about what others think of us. At 40, we don’t care what they think of us. At 60, we discover they haven’t been thinking of us at all.” –Ann Landers

“Maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you’ve had, and what you’ve learned from them, and less to do with how many birthdays you’ve celebrated.” –Unknown

“And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.” –Abraham Lincoln

“It takes a long time to grow young.” –Pablo Picasso

“We turn not older with years, but newer every day.” – Emily Dickinson

“One of the signs of passing youth is the birth of a sense of fellowship with other human beings as we take our place among them.” –Virginia Woolf

“May you live all the days of your life.” –Jonathan Swift

“Old people are fond of giving good advice; it consoles them for no longer being capable of setting a bad example.” –Francois De La Rochefoucauld

“Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.” –Caryn Leschen

“The follies which a man regrets most in his life are those which he didn’t commit when he had the opportunity.” – Helen Rowland

“You are as young as your faith, as old as your doubt; as young as your self-confidence, as old as your fear; as young as your hope, as old as your despair.” –Douglas MacArthur

“Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children.” –George Bernard Shaw

“Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.” –Bob Hope

“Middle age: The time when you’ll do anything to feel better, except give up what is hurting you.” –Robert Quillen

“Growing old is a bad habit which a busy man has no time to form.” –Andre Maurois

“You can’t turn back the clock. But you can wind it up again.” –Bonnie Prudden

“In spite of illness, in spite even of the archenemy sorrow, one can remain alive long past the usual date of disintegration if one is unafraid of change, insatiable in intellectual curiosity, interested in big things, and happy in small ways.” –Edith Wharton

“For the first half of your life, people tell you what you should do; for the second half, they tell you what you should have done.” – Richard Needham

“The years teach much which the days never knew.” –Ralph Waldo Emerson

“A man’s age is something impressive, it sums up his life: maturity reached slowly and against many obstacles, illnesses cured, griefs and despairs overcome, and unconscious risks taken; maturity formed through so many desires, hopes, regrets, forgotten things, loves. A man’s age represents a fine cargo of experiences and memories.” –Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

“There is no pleasure worth forgoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward.” – John Mortimer

“We are happier in many ways when we are old than when we were young. The young sow wild oats. The old grow sage.” –Sir Winston Churchill

“Men are like wine: some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.” –Pope John XXIII

“Though we seem grieved at the shortness of life in general, we are wishing every period of it at an end. The minor longs to be at age, then to be a man of business, then to make up an estate, then to arrive at honors, then to retire.” –Joseph Addison

“You have been warned against letting the golden hours slip by. Yes, but some of them are golden only because we let them slip by.” –James Barrie

Life Quotes

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Let me show you a great list of life quotes from famous people.

Listen, are you breathing just a little and calling it a life? – Mary Oliver

Life is like a coin. You can spend it any way you wish, but you only spend it once. – Lillian Dickson

Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life? – Mary Oliver

We are given one life, and the decision is our whether to wait for circumstances to make up our mind, or whether to act, and in acting, to live. – Omar Nelson Bradley

Life is short; Live it up. – Nikita Khrushchev

Let us endeavor to live, so that when we die, even the undertaker will be sorry. – Mark Twain

You only live once – but if you work it right, once is enough. – Joe E. Lewis

Tomorrow life is too late; live today. – Martial

Each day is a new life. Seize it. Live it. – David Guy Powers

Life is an adventure, dare it. – Mother Theresa

Don’t count the days, make the days count. – Muhammad Ali

Life is not measured by the breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away. – Unknown

You don’t get to choose how you’re going to die. Or when. You can only decide how you’re going to live. Now. – Joan Baez

I think of life itself now as a wonderful play that I’ve written for myself, and so my purpose is to have the utmost fun playing my part. – Shirley MacLaine

Life is like a ten-speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use. – Charles Schulz

Live today for tomorrow it will all be history. – Proverbs

Don’t live down to expectations. Go out there and do something remarkable. – Wendy Wasserstein

My formula for living is quite simple. I get up in the morning and I go to bed at night. In between, I occupy myself as best I can. – Cary Grant

Life does not require us to make good; it asks only that we give our best at each level of experience. – Harold Ruopp

Teenage Birthday Quotes

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“When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished a how much he had learned in seven years.” – Mark Twain “At 19, everything is possible and tomorrow looks friendly.” – Jim Bishop “It was my 16th birthday – my mom and dad gave me my Goya classical guitar that day. I sat down, wrote this song, and I just knew that that was the only thing I could ever really do – write songs and sing them to people.” – Stevie Nicks