Friendship Quotes – a large collection of famous and inspirational quotes

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Funny Anonymous Quotes

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The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.

The word ‘studying’ was made up of two words originally – ‘students dying’.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

24 hours in a day 24 beers in a case coincidence? I think not.

If I agreed with you we’d both be wrong.

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.

You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?” Father replied, “I don’t know son, I’m still paying.”

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband.

Wednesday’s Quotes

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This is just a random list of great quotes, but because today is Wednesday, let’s call them Wednesday’s Quotes :)

“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” – Albert Einstein

“You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don’t try.” – Beverly Sills

“To dream of the person you wish to be is to waste the person you are.” – Author Unknown

“Do what you can with what you’ve got wherever you are.” – Theodore Roosevelt

“Use what talents you possess; the woods would be very silent if no birds sang except those that sang best.” – Henry Van Dyke

“It is not length of Life, but depth of life.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

“To the world you might be one person, but to one person you might just be the world.” – Author Unknown

“The same hammer that breaks the glass forges the steel.” – Russian Proverb

“Strangers are just friends waiting to happen.” – Author Unknown

“We all take different paths in life, but no matter where we go, we take a little of each other everywhere.” – Tim McGraw

“And sometimes when you turn, there is a shoulder to lean upon, a smile to believe in, a hand to hold. Those are the times your faith in the world is restored.” – Nirvikar Dahiya

“Laughter is the music of life.” – Sir William Osler

Life Quotes

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Let me show you a great list of life quotes from famous people.

Listen, are you breathing just a little and calling it a life? – Mary Oliver

Life is like a coin. You can spend it any way you wish, but you only spend it once. – Lillian Dickson

Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life? – Mary Oliver

We are given one life, and the decision is our whether to wait for circumstances to make up our mind, or whether to act, and in acting, to live. – Omar Nelson Bradley

Life is short; Live it up. – Nikita Khrushchev

Let us endeavor to live, so that when we die, even the undertaker will be sorry. – Mark Twain

You only live once – but if you work it right, once is enough. – Joe E. Lewis

Tomorrow life is too late; live today. – Martial

Each day is a new life. Seize it. Live it. – David Guy Powers

Life is an adventure, dare it. – Mother Theresa

Don’t count the days, make the days count. – Muhammad Ali

Life is not measured by the breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away. – Unknown

You don’t get to choose how you’re going to die. Or when. You can only decide how you’re going to live. Now. – Joan Baez

I think of life itself now as a wonderful play that I’ve written for myself, and so my purpose is to have the utmost fun playing my part. – Shirley MacLaine

Life is like a ten-speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use. – Charles Schulz

Live today for tomorrow it will all be history. – Proverbs

Don’t live down to expectations. Go out there and do something remarkable. – Wendy Wasserstein

My formula for living is quite simple. I get up in the morning and I go to bed at night. In between, I occupy myself as best I can. – Cary Grant

Life does not require us to make good; it asks only that we give our best at each level of experience. – Harold Ruopp

Funny Jokes Quotes

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Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. “Yes” is the answer.

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

If I agreed with you we’d both be wrong.

Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

War does not determine who is right – only who is left.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.

Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.

The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.